J-webr Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 (edited) Hi, I must first apologize for my english, I'm not a native speaker and I don't live in USA My gf left me one month ago and I would really appreciate your opinion if there's any chance she'll come back. When we startedshe was 19, and I was 23 and we were together for 8 years. For the first twoyears we were going out a lot, to the clubs, parties, drinking etc., but then Igot a great job, became more serious or even boring from her point of view. Shenever really stoped with her party life, going out alone most of the times almostevery week, drinking, staying up till morning, traveling with her friends often etc. We often argued about that,I even sometimes considered dumping her because of her lifestyle, but didn'tcos I loved her so much. Otherwise wehad a great relationship, great sex, shared some hobbies, were succesful financially... The real troublesstarted this year, when I lost my job, became kind of depressed, started my ownvery stressful business, which took almost all of my free time. I was tiredmost of the time, started avoiding hanging out with her,going out, lost a lot of the interest in sex (although i found hervery attractive and loved her so much), and became kind of annoying partner whohas very little life except work. I was also jealous at her, because she wasliving more and more independently. I even once told her we're not a coupleanymore, we're more like FWB. We didn't have a single quality conversationabout my problems, she was just encouragingme it will be OK, don’t worry... She didn’t completely understood what I’mgoing through or her thoughts were with someone else. One day when we met, she started crying,and I knew something horrible was about to happen. She told me she wants to bewith someone else, though she still loves me. I tried to change her mind, buthad no success. I must confess (I’m ashamed of myself) that I managed to checkedher email and phone. I found some few daysold naked photos of this new guy and her, he is very good looking and has a reallygreat (magazine cover) body. The only thing that’s giving me some kind ofsatisfaction is that I saw that his muscles are compensation for a few inches,if you understand what I mean. So I left, send her like 5 text message in the next 2 days, and she finally agreed we’ll meet in a week. Before thatshe called me, told me she’s in a new relationship, sound very happy, so I saidit’s no point of seeing each other. I told her I still love her and that I’mhurting. She also said she cannot be with both of us and that she felt some ofthe passion between us was gone. After that we didn’t have any contact. I heardshe’s very much in love right now and feeling so free without me. All of hergirlfriends are taking her side. I heard she knew this guy for at least 2 yearsand she always had some feelings for him. I’m not sure if he wasn’t availableearlier, or she was just too much in love with me at that time. Do you guys believe there any chanceshe’ll come back, cause I still love her so much, I am in great pain and cannotimagine myself with someone else right now. People are suggesting me to move onof course. Maybe this model new guy isjust playing with her and will leave her in few months? Will she start missingmy love and emotional support I was giving her (except for last few months)? Ormaybe she won’t be satisfied with the sex, I do believe this guy is notconfident with his size, although I’m not talking about micro size penis, just like2 inches or so under average. Does this even matter to women when they areso crazy in love? Thank you for your help and thoughts,Kind regards Edited November 14, 2014 by J-webr
Chi townD Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 Wow, okay. Move on dude. It sounds like she was always interested in this dude and the FIRST time he showed interest in her, she threw you under the bus. So, why the hell would you want someone like that to come back to you? She showed you her true colors. Start NO CONTACT with her. Block her from all social media and Facebook. I do have a feeling that she will come back. Just not the way you think. Sooner or later she's going to start to feel guilty about the way she treated you and she'll try to get in contact with you to see if you hate her. Here's the hard part for you. IGNORE HER!!! Start making positive changes in your life.
Zahara Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 I think you have to let go of the penis aspect of this. She was probably cheating on you. It would be the best thing for you to move on with your life and let her go. Block her and start healing from this.
Author J-webr Posted November 14, 2014 Author Posted November 14, 2014 Thanks for your support, I know I should move on but it's too soon, i'm broken. I know this penis thing is no big deal, but it's some sort of my revenge. I always thought I'll never take any cheater back, but with her I changed my mind, looks I don't have enough strenght in me right now.
Zahara Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 Thanks for your support, I know I should move on but it's too soon, i'm broken. Being broken doesn't change the fact that the relationship is over. It's your only choice as you need to try an dlet go and accept that she's gone. I know this penis thing is no big deal, but it's some sort of my revenge. You're trying to focus on some "shortcoming" of his that may make you feel more valued/better than him. Possibly that will make her come back to you. I always thought I'll never take any cheater back, but with her I changed my mind, looks I don't have enough strenght in me right now. And that's normal you're of the mindset that you will take a cheater back. It's because you are in pain and denial.
Fearful Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 Sorry for your pain. Stop wasting your time. Go complete NC on her. You wasted 8years of your life loving a woman who have no loyalty and integrity. Move on with you life and stop wasting your love on her instead learn loving your self. Never even contemplate taking her back.
Author J-webr Posted November 14, 2014 Author Posted November 14, 2014 I'm aware of the fact that relationship is over, I'm just not happy with that. I haven't made any contact with her in the last 3 weeks, I don't wanna beg and I don't want her to see what a mess I am. I still see her in a positive way, probably always will. I' just angry she didn't want to become a responsible adult person with me, she eventually will with someone else. If she and her new bf have some sex issues, they won' bother her in this early stages of relationship when she's madly in love. But after a while who knows. I' m keeping busy with work, sports, reading, but it' just no fun. I'm also seeing a therapist and the first thing she said after I told her about rough year and about this breakup was: you should come a year earlier and everything would be OK. Now I now I couldn't handle losing a job and starting my own business by myself. She put up with this nervous, depressed, worried, chronically tired and all the time working version of me for more then half a year, but then she've had enough. I have chosen the wrong priorities (work instead of my and her needs) and now I'm suffering.
Chatmonkey Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 You wasted 8years of your life loving a woman who have no loyalty and integrity. Ok i get that everyone is trying to help but what the **** kind of thing is this to say?? Big round of applause for this guy. Whether that is true or not, you don't say **** like that. Also, there are so many positives that would have come out of experiences like these even though currently there is pain. Be more considerate and less narrow minded. 1
Author J-webr Posted November 15, 2014 Author Posted November 15, 2014 Sorry for your pain. Stop wasting your time. Go complete NC on her. You wasted 8years of your life loving a woman who have no loyalty and integrity. Move on with you life and stop wasting your love on her instead learn loving your self. Never even contemplate taking her back. i don't think a wasted all those years, it's been great for let's say 90% of time. My ex has been loyal until the problems started, then her love for me quickly disappeared. I think most of people would do the same if they had better options, especially young people in their late twenties.
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