emotionsmessmeup Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 after 5 years of relationship.. I am devastated.. He wants to date others so that he can be stable with me... He wants to be sure I am the one. Well This probably means he is very sure I am not the one 5 years is a long time and all I think all the time is...what did i do wrong. I know I could get clingy and nto give hsi space... But in the end, last night after an hour of conversation with him I realized he must have made up his mind, why else would he do this. He doesnt want to be with me but some part of me does want to hold on. AFter 1 hour of fighting, calming down..etc. etc. I texted him and I said I will not take his calls/Im or anything from now on. He chose not to be with him, I will show hm what he CHOSE. Trust me...The only thing I ever wanted was to make this relationship work..Never wanted to be a doctor..never had big dreams..just wanted to marry him .. and I am very scared rigth now...But then I think...A man who is a market of high bidders knows the value of a good product when he sees one and he knows how to take care of it..on the other hand..a beggar may have something very worthy but not even know the value of it. IN THE END, HE DOESNT WANT TO BE WITH ME. Thsi is the toughest thing I have ever done.... I know I am his first..but... I just need to not contact/talk to him...AND I CAN DO IT!
SadAndLonely Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup The only thing I ever wanted was to make this relationship work..Never wanted to be a doctor..never had big dreams..just wanted to marry him .. This scared me. I think this is a major part of why men break off relationships and look for them elsewhere. Your only dream in life is to marry this guy??? Please, for your own sake, PLEASE find things you want to do just for yourself. Before you met this guy you MUST have had dreams. Every child says, "When I grow up I want to be a _____." What did you want to be?
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted March 16, 2005 Author Posted March 16, 2005 Businesswoman.. take over my dads business and own a ship!
Angeleyez2583 Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 This is a hard situation. I don't think it's that he doesn't think you're the one as you think. Have you ever heard the saying, if you love him/her let them go, and if it's true love they'll come back? Try not to fight with him, but not taking his calls is also a good idea. Give him his space for awhile, and if he still calls, act happy. I mean that. Guys hate it when girls act happy! This happened with me and my last ex. That was a hard situation for me because he lived one floor below me in the dorms. So I ignored him , but walked on his floor with a big smile on my face. I also went and talked to everyone that I was friends with but him. The point of the matter is that I acted like I was happy without him, and it drove him to realize that he did need me in his life. After a week of the NC/ acting happy, he imed me and said, how come you never say hi to me? I really need to talk to you. I went down to his room, and for everyone who says I shouldn't have done this, we got back together that night. But anyway, just let him have his space for a while, and if you do run into him, make sure to let him know how happy you are and how much you don't need him. Good luck!
Angeleyez2583 Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 by saying "let him know you don't need him" don't tell him just show him. But make the conversation short and act like you're busy.
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted March 16, 2005 Author Posted March 16, 2005 OH ITS LONG DISTANCE... and we beoke up 2.5 months ago.. the longest time we havent spoken for is 2-3 days...
snoop_dawg22 Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 Please consider reading Why Men Love B*t%h#s.
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted March 16, 2005 Author Posted March 16, 2005 yup thats why i haev decide to not contact him.. ill just show him life without me ... if i keep talking and he distances me bti by bit..there will be no chance left at all... i will be a bitch to him
SadAndLonely Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 I've read that book, and it's an excellent book, but please don't just pretend to get a life, and don't get a life with the hopes of getting him back. Find things on your own to do to make you happy. A man should never be the center of your existence.
snoop_dawg22 Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 The word bitch is used differently in this book. You don't have to be mean or cold to him. He's made his decision and the best thing to do is accept and move on. That's the ultimate revenge. Who knows. He'll go out and experience the world and may decide that it's not for him. But the book is good. It shows how we as women are sometimes too giving and that guys respect the women that stand up for themselves and will not allow anyone to treat them like a doormat. It's helping me!!
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted March 16, 2005 Author Posted March 16, 2005 yea.. i realize all that i did wrong by making him the center of my life.. and when he stopped answering my phone calls...rigth away..but after 2-3 hours or even next day.. thats when i realized..so he just wants to distance out bit by bit..! and i realized the only chance i have is to go away or else he'll never return.
EC Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 Taking the step...girl you been stepping then back stepping then stepping again. I know 5 years was a long time..but you have to let it go! I really hope this time your serious and you dont pick up his calls and really do NC. Heres a little tip...When my friend was doing NC her guy would call and she would see his name pop up on her cellphone and she would just have to pick it up. So what she did was change his name on her phone to a**h*** or Loser, or Cheater so that when he called she could read that instead of his name, get mad and not pick up the phone.
snoop_dawg22 Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 EC that's a great idea. I'm going to have to use that one!
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted March 16, 2005 Author Posted March 16, 2005 no i wont pick up wen he calls.. infact I have deleted hsi number. but lately its me who was iming him just to tell him i miss him and so on.. I WAS having the URGES to contact... but now i know if i contact him, i lose him.
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