preraph Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 You can get an idea of your league range by simply paying attention to the women who seem to like you. If you never think they're attractive back, you're trying to date out of your league.
leavesonautumn Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 The only reason I say that is because I've seen a lot of evidence to the contrary. Guys with a lot going for them can still be dateless. I'm not saying I'm one of those guys but I've seen it and heard it. I just wish this was all more clear cut. You're right. A guy can "have it all" but women are not interested. It's generally because they're socially awkward, believe in alpha/beta crap, have incredibly high standards (while calling women shallow SMH) or act aloof or too cool when a woman is interested (I guess this falls into alpha/beta/red pill territory). If someone is insecure, then it is more obvious than you may think. If you're desperate, people can tell. Maybe leagues exist to you, it's not something I really understand but be more confident and approachable to people in general. Pay attention to who is interested in you. Get to know people before writing them off.
d0nnivain Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 Yes I'm very polite and respectful. I also dress nice and wear cologne. I don't think my mom or cousins have the heart to tell me the truth. I'm very thin and I don't believe I'm too ugly, but for some reason the women willing to date me tend to be plus size. Moms are tough because they love their children unconditionally. But point blank ask your cousins. Given them permission to be blunt as long as they are willing to help you improve the places where they see you are lacking. It's probably more of a confidence thing which will get better over time. Meanwhile read How to Win Friends and Influence People. Also join ToastMasters. The group focuses more on public speaking but it can help build confidence.
Mangina Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 Moms are tough because they love their children unconditionally. But point blank ask your cousins. Given them permission to be blunt as long as they are willing to help you improve the places where they see you are lacking. It's probably more of a confidence thing which will get better over time. Meanwhile read How to Win Friends and Influence People. Also join ToastMasters. The group focuses more on public speaking but it can help build confidence. Why do you assume that I have low conference and I don't have any friends?
d0nnivain Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 Why do you assume that I have low conference and I don't have any friends? I should not have assumed that but it is a common reason why people can't get dates because they aren't asking for them. Everything else you described about yourself seems to indicate that you are a guy: maybe not a supermodel but not somebody who's appearance is startling. If you have friends ask them to help you by pointing out what's working & what's not. Also ask them to fix you up. Throughout my whole live friends were a huge source of how & met people. Friends took me to the event where I met my husband.
Mangina Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 I should not have assumed that but it is a common reason why people can't get dates because they aren't asking for them. Everything else you described about yourself seems to indicate that you are a guy: maybe not a supermodel but not somebody who's appearance is startling. If you have friends ask them to help you by pointing out what's working & what's not. Also ask them to fix you up. Throughout my whole live friends were a huge source of how & met people. Friends took me to the event where I met my husband. I get out and talk to people pretty often, it's just that there are people who want to date me and people who don't. It's just life. Only thing I can do is maybe get an implant to make my jaw look more defined. I dont have a have good jawline and I have a receding hairline as well so I just shave my head. Not too bad but I'm only 26.
Tayken Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 I am in a league of extraordinary gentlemen. I sip on my tea whilst sticking up my pinky finger and looking down my nose at others like public school boy
TigerLilly78 Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 Then how come pretty girls don't like me? Some girls you deam "pretty" don't like you for the same reason you don't like the overweight women who approach you because they personally don't find you attractive but guess what? thats their right just like its yours...its not a personal insult its preference and if you can have it so can they long as its done respectfully..
Mangina Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 Some girls you deam "pretty" don't like you for the same reason you don't like the overweight women who approach you because they personally don't find you attractive but guess what? thats their right just like its yours...its not a personal insult its preference and if you can have it so can they long as its done respectfully.. Yes I know that and I didn't say I don't like overweight women.
TigerLilly78 Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 Yes I know that and I didn't say I don't like overweight women. But your clearly not attracted to them enough to consider dating one? if you were you would have given one of them a chance no? .. and thats ok but you cant wonder why others aren't into you when you yourself have preferences..that was my point I wasn't saying you are bashing over weight women please don't think that..
Mangina Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 But your clearly not attracted to them enough to consider dating one? if you were you would have given one of them a chance no? .. and thats ok but you cant wonder why others aren't into you when you yourself have preferences..that was my point I wasn't saying you are bashing over weight women please don't think that.. All my girlfriends have been big girls.
TigerLilly78 Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 All my girlfriends have been big girls. But you asked "why don't pretty girls like me" did you not consider them to be pretty? im just going off of what your saying..the vibe your giving off is that its not really your ideal..
Mangina Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 But you asked "why don't pretty girls like me" did you not consider them to be pretty? im just going off of what your saying..the vibe your giving off is that its not really your ideal.. I was going by conventional standards.
TigerLilly78 Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 I was going by conventional standards. Well then why are you worried about conventuial standards if your getting approached by women you see as pretty and datable on a reg basis?
Mangina Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 Well then why are you worried about conventuial standards if your getting approached by women you see as pretty and datable on a reg basis? I haven't been on here in a couple of months, bur I talk to you about the last time I was on here. I don't know if you remember when I told you that I wasn't sure if these girl really find me attractive or is it only because more attractive guys don't want to date them, so they resort to dating me.
TigerLilly78 Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 (edited) I haven't been on here in a couple of months, bur I talk to you about the last time I was on here. I don't know if you remember when I told you that I wasn't sure if these girl really find me attractive or is it only because more attractive guys don't want to date them, so they resort to dating me. I actually don't remember having that conversation but ill take your word for it if it makes you feel any better im a over weight female and I wouldn't date a man "just cause" I thought I couldn't get anything else..and I do believe you sell us short as ive dated personal trainers and body builders so were not all starving for dates with conventionally attractive men. The guy im with now is not what alot of women might consider conventionally attractive hes geeky a bit over weight wears glasses to be honest many women turned him down I like him for the person he is and vice versea we just work well together and I find him very handsome who cares what everyone else thinks is "hot" at the end of the day we are the ones in a happy stable relationship. I had other options at the time as well but I chose him..All that said IF over weight women were not your ideal partner there's nothing wrong with this if its a personal preference but just remember others can also have a preference that was my entire point of my 1st post.. Edited November 15, 2014 by TigerLilly78
MercuryMorrison1 Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 I always found the thought of ''leagues'' ridiculous. One of my good buddies is living proof of that...This guy is 5,3 balding, 300ish lbs. with thick glasses and poor skin... ...But he's confident and he know's how to talk to women, He's engaged to a woman now who's pretty much a 10, and no for the record he doesn't have some six figure job either...He's works as a grounds keeper. My point is...If he can make it work for him...Than so can you. If you see someone you like...Just friggin go for it, you literally have nothing to lose, and don't look at it like they are better than you because you perceive them to be so attractive. Just treat them as an equal and go for it. 1
Mangina Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 I actually don't remember having that conversation but ill take your word for it if it makes you feel any better im a over weight female and I wouldn't date a man "just cause" I thought I couldn't get anything else..and I do believe you sell us short as ive dated personal trainers and body builders so were not all starving for dates with conventionally attractive men. The guy im with now is not what alot of women might consider conventionally attractive hes geeky a bit over weight wears glasses to be honest many women turned him down I like him for the person he is and vice versea we just work well together and I find him very handsome who cares what everyone else thinks is "hot" at the end of the day we are the ones in a happy stable relationship. I had other options at the time as well but I chose him..All that said IF over weight women were not your ideal partner there's nothing wrong with this if its a personal preference but just remember others can also have a preference that was my entire point of my 1st post.. I wouldn't except you to say that you would be with someone else if you were fit, even if that were true.
Imported Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 If the guy is 5'3" and 300lbs, he'd literally be like the shape of a ball......as wide as he is tall. In my approach, I don't concern myself with league. I see women that seem to want me and I go for the ones I want. Pretty simple. Sometimes, I just go for the ones I want. If it works, it works. If it doesn't, adjust. Also, I read stories about a guy named Bill Gates. I think he makes @$1,000,000 durring the time where he turns off the lights to go to sleep and actually falls asleep. If he can do it, everybody else can do it too. However, knowing where you stand, doesn't mean you can't shoot for the stars. In fact, you should know where you stand.
TigerLilly78 Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 I wouldn't except you to say that you would be with someone else if you were fit, even if that were true. Im sorry im not quite sure im getting what your saying are you saying I would lie? and if I was "fit" I would dump my guy?
Mangina Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 Im sorry im not quite sure im getting what your saying are you saying I would lie? and if I was "fit" I would dump my guy? that is exactly what i am saying. is it just a coincidence that every girl who liked was over weight?
TigerLilly78 Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 that is exactly what i am saying. is it just a coincidence that every girl who liked was over weight? I think your issues lie with your own self confidence if you cant even believe what im saying until you can fix that then no relashionship is going to get off the ground..with any type of women period..
Mangina Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 I think your issues lie with your own self confidence if you cant even believe what im saying until you can fix that then no relashionship is going to get off the ground..with any type of women period.. how do you know i lack confidence? you have never met me.
d0nnivain Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 when I told [LS] that I wasn't sure if these girl really find me attractive or is it only because more attractive guys don't want to date them, so they resort to dating me. My assumption that you have a confidence problem seems to be on the mark. If you can't accept that someone wants to be with you because they like you rather than assuming they are settling for you because they can't do better, you have a self confidence / self esteem issue. Your statement that you are having trouble dating at 26 because you don't have a "strong jaw line" and are considering surgery & you have a receding hair line further supports the idea that you your self esteem could use a boost. Whatever the reason you can't get a date, I promise you it has NOTHING to do with the shape of your jaw or your hair. Although I have never seen you "in action" I suspect that when you talk to & flirt with these "big girls" you are more relaxed & more yourself. You see them to some extent as not worthy of you but women you can't get so it's easier. When you see another woman who you are more attracted to who you see as a catch, you freeze up or act more awkward. She picks up & that & you shoot yourself in the proverbial foot. Before you dismiss my theory out of hand, sit down & really examine your own behaviors / reactions to see if there is any truth to what I said. Then try to be more relaxed when you speak to the women you deem more desirable. 1
Imported Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 This is a reality TV show from 2009. I haven't had cable since 2005ish and don't really watch much TV, so never heard of it. I use to like watching MTV when it was actually about music. Then they did all the reality shows. Mostly, I just watch music videos on youtube. Seems I have gone full circle. Anyway, this reality show interest me. It's "Dating in the dark". They take three girls and three guys and put them in a large house where the only way they meet and talk is in complete darkness. They get to "know" each other without knowing what the other person looks like. At the end, they are shown whome they've been getting to know and then decide if they continue or not. I only saw the first episode, but it was pretty interesting. youtube just has it @10 minutes at a time, at the bottom of the video is a link to see the next part.
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