Camaro Guy Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 (edited) Do I even have a league? Those are the questions I want to know. I've never dated anyone before and it seems like everyone is in a higher league than I am. Here's some stats about me: I'm about six feet, I think I dress alright, nice car, apartment by myself, somewhat on the skinny side but getting bulkier through exercise, well-read, try and do good grooming, make a good amount of money for what I do. I have never had a girlfriend or had sex, I am 24 years old. Unfortunately I don't consider myself that physically attractive. I have a great jawline but I can barely grow facial hair and some of my features don't add up. So what league would you say I'm in and what features knock me down? I know that women consider guys more attractive the more women they're with, so I have that against me. Preselection is a major force stopping me. If there was some way to get over this, I'd be golden. Edited November 14, 2014 by Camaro Guy
Tayken Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 I know that women consider guys more attractive the more women they're with, so I have that against me. Really....so if a guy is surrounded by less than desirable women (smokes, drinks, slutty etc), women will find this fella attractive? The fact that you are bugging yourself down with "league" is disconcerting. 1
Author Camaro Guy Posted November 14, 2014 Author Posted November 14, 2014 Really....so if a guy is surrounded by less than desirable women (smokes, drinks, slutty etc), women will find this fella attractive? The fact that you are bugging yourself down with "league" is disconcerting. You can't really tell if a girl is a "slut" though. Some of the nicest girls I have ever met were the most promiscuous people. And most girls drink. I need to know my league so I know which girls I can go after and not have high expectations.
Tayken Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 You can't really tell if a girl is a "slut" though. Some of the nicest girls I have ever met were the most promiscuous people. And most girls drink. I need to know my league so I know which girls I can go after and not have high expectations. You are obviously young by the sound of things. The dress is usually a yellow flag....just saying
leavesonautumn Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 You can't really tell if a girl is a "slut" though. Some of the nicest girls I have ever met were the most promiscuous people. And most girls drink. I need to know my league so I know which girls I can go after and not have high expectations. Stop focusing on this whole "league" thing and date women you find interesting. You're just shooting yourself in the foot by making it such an important factor in dating. Personally, I don't believe in leagues. Someone else's 10 could be a 5 to me and vice versa. Also, I don't think women will find you more desirable in terms of how many other women you've been with. In fact, it may be a turn off to some people. So, don't sleep around or date just because you think it will impress a future girlfriend or date. 2
Tayken Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 Some on here might think am a zero (0)....but that is only subjective because I know am at least a one (1)........it's all binary you see.
Gloria25 Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 Stop focusing on this whole "league" thing and date women you find interesting. You're just shooting yourself in the foot by making it such an important factor in dating. Personally, I don't believe in leagues. Someone else's 10 could be a 5 to me and vice versa. Also, I don't think women will find you more desirable in terms of how many other women you've been with. In fact, it may be a turn off to some people. So, don't sleep around or date just because you think it will impress a future girlfriend or date. Agreed.... YOU should be picking who you want, not THEM picking you. I think you should get out there and be sociable. The more you expose yourself to people, the more you find out what you find "attractive" and get a gauge of how women rate you too. Maybe even get a wingman/woman. Now yes, there are certain things we do want in person. In my case, I want someone in shape, doesn't smoke weed, etc. So yes, not all chicks are gonna find you having what they are looking for.
Mangina Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 Agreed.... YOU should be picking who you want, not THEM picking you. I think you should get out there and be sociable. The more you expose yourself to people, the more you find out what you find "attractive" and get a gauge of how women rate you too. Maybe even get a wingman/woman. Now yes, there are certain things we do want in person. In my case, I want someone in shape, doesn't smoke weed, etc. So yes, not all chicks are gonna find you having what they are looking for. It doesn't work that way, women do the choosing. I'm a lot like camaro guy the women that seem to like me are overweight. I'm trying to figure this league thing out myself.
Author Camaro Guy Posted November 14, 2014 Author Posted November 14, 2014 This is all well and good but I do believe that there's a certain number of men women find attractive. Like take a barrel chested guy who's 6'2 and is Caucasian plus makes a lot of money. A lot of women are attracted to that and that places him in a high league. 1
Tayken Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 This is all well and good but I do believe that there's a certain number of men women find attractive. Like take a barrel chested guy who's 6'2 and is Caucasian plus makes a lot of money. A lot of women are attracted to that and that places him in a high league. Really....even if he is a paedophile, convict, abuser? I suppose you are right because there are a lot of shallow women out there. The pants will drop before they find that out about the guy
Mangina Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 Really....even if he is a paedophile, convict, abuser? I suppose you are right because there are a lot of shallow women out there. The pants will drop before they find that out about the guy Sadly you're right.
leavesonautumn Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 This is all well and good but I do believe that there's a certain number of men women find attractive. Like take a barrel chested guy who's 6'2 and is Caucasian plus makes a lot of money. A lot of women are attracted to that and that places him in a high league. This is offensive and inaccurate on so many levels. I'm not surprised that you are having such a hard time with dating. What are you looking for in a woman?
Tayken Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 Sadly you're right. Am glad to be the bearer of bad news....or should that be voice of reason? 1
Author Camaro Guy Posted November 14, 2014 Author Posted November 14, 2014 This is offensive and inaccurate on so many levels. I'm not surprised that you are having such a hard time with dating. What are you looking for in a woman? A girl I'm attracted to (doesn't have to be "hot", I find a lot of types attractive) with a good head on her shoulders and is interesting. Why is that offensive? Did I describe you? Do you have a hard time with dating? 1
d0nnivain Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 There are no leagues because different people find different types attractive. For example, most people would tell you Brad Pitt is gorgeous. I think he's ugly. If you are a descent guy (kind, honest, a person of integrity) & you see a woman you find attractive, smile & strike up a conversation. Many beautiful women are lonely because they only get hit on by jerks. 1
Mangina Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 There are no leagues because different people find different types attractive. For example, most people would tell you Brad Pitt is gorgeous. I think he's ugly. If you are a descent guy (kind, honest, a person of integrity) & you see a woman you find attractive, smile & strike up a conversation. Many beautiful women are lonely because they only get hit on by jerks. I've tried that, for me it doesn't work as easily as you're describing.
leavesonautumn Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 A girl I'm attracted to (doesn't have to be "hot", I find a lot of types attractive) with a good head on her shoulders and is interesting. Why is that offensive? Did I describe you? Do you have a hard time with dating? Okay, so why don't you date a woman who fits into what you want? Instead of trying to force yourself to be something for someone else. No, it's offensive because you're generalizing women and basically telling a woman what we're like and "what we want". This has nothing to do with me, I just tried to offer some advice but it wasn't what you wanted to hear.
d0nnivain Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 I've tried that, for me it doesn't work as easily as you're describing. I didn't say it was easy. There are no magic formulas but there are also no leagues.
Mangina Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 I didn't say it was easy. There are no magic formulas but there are also no leagues. Then how come pretty girls don't like me?
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 There are definitely leagues and a competent guy is aware of where he stands, it helps him calibrate potential interest. But you don't even know your league, because you have no experience...that's your problem, so essentially you have "no league" because you've never even swung a baseball bat at a baseball. Without that experience and knowledge, you're going to have a hard time assessing what you're capable of getting...if you can't attract the 6's or average sally, you're going to have a hard time charming the likes of 8,9, or 10...that beauty you see walking down the street or at the mall that wouldn't even give you 2 seconds of her time, let alone a date. Try your hand with women that you feel are within your same attractive level of looks...keep in mind that even if you are better looking and have more going on for you, that doesn't necessarily mean you are in the league of the average looking woman, as they will still have more options than you ever will. Your league is a combination of your looks, personality, confidence and ability with women (social skills) and usually people in general. Unfortunately looks have a lot to do with it, when you go out with a group of guys, it's usually the same guys pulling in the girls...it's never just random or unpredictable like you might be led to believe here where "no leagues" exist...the same guys are typically successful while the other guys are hit or miss or get lucky on occasion, therefore it's pretty obvious what league people are in through social interaction. To increase your chances you'll need one on one time, especially if you're not the best looking guy ever...if the girl can find some redeeming qualities about you, then she may be inclined to develop more of an attraction to you...a sense of humor is a good one for that, but not always successful, you might still be too ugly for them. 1
Mangina Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 There are definitely leagues and a competent guy is aware of where he stands, it helps him calibrate potential interest. But you don't even know your league, because you have no experience...that's your problem, so essentially you have "no league" because you've never even swung a baseball bat at a baseball. Without that experience and knowledge, you're going to have a hard time assessing what you're capable of getting...if you can't attract the 6's or average sally, you're going to have a hard time charming the likes of 8,9, or 10...that beauty you see walking down the street or at the mall that wouldn't even give you 2 seconds of her time, let alone a date. Try your hand with women that you feel are within your same attractive level of looks...keep in mind that even if you are better looking and have more going on for you, that doesn't necessarily mean you are in the league of the average looking woman, as they will still have more options than you ever will. Your league is a combination of your looks, personality, confidence and ability with women (social skills) and usually people in general. Unfortunately looks have a lot to do with it, when you go out with a group of guys, it's usually the same guys pulling in the girls...it's never just random or unpredictable like you might be led to believe here where "no leagues" exist...the same guys are typically successful while the other guys are hit or miss or get lucky on occasion, therefore it's pretty obvious what league people are in through social interaction. To increase your chances you'll need one on one time, especially if you're not the best looking guy ever...if the girl can find some redeeming qualities about you, then she may be inclined to develop more of an attraction to you...a sense of humor is a good one for that, but not always successful, you might still be too ugly for them. this is what it seems like to me.
Author Camaro Guy Posted November 14, 2014 Author Posted November 14, 2014 Okay, so why don't you date a woman who fits into what you want? Instead of trying to force yourself to be something for someone else. No, it's offensive because you're generalizing women and basically telling a woman what we're like and "what we want". This has nothing to do with me, I just tried to offer some advice but it wasn't what you wanted to hear. Just because I'm into a woman doesn't mean she'll be into me. I've had so many crushes on girls but nothing ever happens with it because I'm not the guy they want. I'm not complaining, that's just how it is. I am what I am, yes. I accept that. It's just that in 24 years of existence... no one else has either... 1
ascendotum Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 You can't really tell if a girl is a "slut" though. Some of the nicest girls I have ever met were the most promiscuous people. And most girls drink. I need to know my league so I know which girls I can go after and not have high expectations. You go after the ones you want and have to learn to deal with rejection. Just chat up the ones you find very attractive (looks & personality & lifestyle) and take note of the level of enthusiasm they display back. If you get get good vibes back keep it up and escalate up to making out/asking out. If you continually strike out then you'll have to expand the range of women you chat up to the point where they flirt back. Is the range of women you find attractive very limited. I thought you would sort of pick this up going to school/university/parties/after work drinks/bbqs/music gigs/clubs etc over the years in just chatting to girls even in mixed company. 1
Tayken Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 Then how come pretty girls don't like me? Definition of "pretty" please? Work on your self confidence
whatcanitellyou Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 I think it's good that OP is giving thought reasonable expectations, I've seen guys that feel like the fact that they're nice and funny entitles them to a model and when they can't get it they rage about how women don't want "nice guys". I think you should get out, socialize, be yourself, and see who's interested. Then you'll find interested women who also interest you and you can go from there. Just remember that looks aren't everything; true they are important but so are other qualities. Many a guy has chosen his partner based on hotness and then been miserable when she turns out to be a poor partner. Judge women on the criteria you want them to use to judge you. And never, ever settle for someone that doesn't make you happy because you think you can't do better. That is a disservice both of you.
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