makeithappen Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 Hello, I have a very self-destructive behaviour. Whenever a guy shows interest and tries to get close to me emotionally, I humiliate him! I essentially do something that injures his ego to the point where he no longer wants to see me again. Please do not be mad at me! I JUST realised yesterday! I will definitely STOP this,but I need to understand why I act like this. I do not do it with the intention of humiliating the guy, but it happens so automatically, I cannot control it! scenarios:a guy at work showed interest in me, and I not only tried to be more distant (although I fancied him as well!!!!), but I subsequently wrote down my details to another male colleague in front of him! Basically, he was a gay colleague and I was helping him with something, but I never explained this, and basically the other guy never came back. 2) a guy was showing interest in me, and I told him off in front of everyone for getting too close to me physically. He was fuming and now a war started between us! I really wanted to recontact guy 1, but there is no way!
Gloria25 Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 Maybe some counseling can help... Sometimes sitting down with someone who can pull out of you what's going on works for some people.
sagamore Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 Why would we be mad at you? You haven't humiliated me for trying to date you But that being said, if you're upset with this tendency of yours, don't know how to control it and it's not serving you well, it seems like you should get into therapy for help with stopping it.
leavesonautumn Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 The first step is admitting and understanding what you're doing. So, good for you for being aware of how you are treating them. I think you need to have counselling done and at least work on your low self esteem. You would probably be better off not dating anyone as you could sabotage your chances at a healthy relationship before you're ready to be in one. You can't just "stop" this behaviour, you have to recognize it and understand where it comes from. I believe it's due to low self esteem and self worth. I did this when I was 17/18 after the breakup of my high school relationship because I was craving attention. You're not just hurting these guys, you're hurting yourself.
Thegreatestthing Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 I use to be the same a very Long time ago,though sometimes I still am,you're just trying to protect yourself,you've got to risk it for the biskit!
Curious-One Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 Why not go into his office or go up to him and say that you were in bad mood and apologize and ask if you can make it up to him. Recently i did something similar... i didnt get enough sleep in the morning and cute girl from work made a remark to me in and i literally went off on the poor girl. After about 2 hrs thinking to my self how i made her feel like **** and how i ****ed up i maned up and went to her office and apologized and took responsibility for my actions.
Tayken Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 and apologize and ask if you can make it up to him. Careful now....I will be careful in how you word that, as he might get the wrong impression. You know what I mean
Assasda Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 Its because youre a hurt person. The saying goes "Hurt people, hut people" People that are hurt, try to hurt other people. Its probably because you have super-low selfesteem OP You've been taken advantage of, and you dont view yourself as very important. Get counseling
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