What do i do now?

[cowboysfansad]

I met this absolutely amazing girl who became my boyfriend.

I was staying 4-5 days a week with her.

She asked me to move in with her told me i was the one

She was in tears in the kitchen telling me how much she appreciated me.

She told me she could not wait for us to start a family

Her son asked me if i was going to be his dad

And her daughter called me dada.

We even talked about me adopting her kids from her ex

And went ring shopping.

We always said based on what went through that if we ever got insecure that we could openly go through each others e mail phones didn't matter because we had nothing to hide

 

So i had never went through anything of hers and she said something that i thought was strange and since she had asked me to move in i. Checked her mail

 

The morning this happened we made love she said she loved me and kissed me bye

 

So i started laundry and i checked her e mail

I found a e mail she had wrote to her friends husband that said you are my soulmate if we are ever single i know this will workout

 

So when i asked her about this she then said that she feels betrayed that i went through her stuff

And she got really cold and defensive

And says she needs a break

When i said what change from this morning she said i was happy then

 

It has been a week and i miss her and the kids

And i having a really hard time with everything

I texted her to please take down the facebook pictures of us since they are meaningless she wdcouldn't so i untagged myself and blocked her

She wont respond to any texts or e mails

And i don't understand can someone please explain?

 

For the last 2 months i helped her with the kids getting them dressed

We were a team now she acts like i don't exist

[SoThatHappened]

A few questions, then advice.

 

- What are your ages?

- How long were you together?

- How long after you met did you move in?

- How long did it take her to tell you she loved you?

- Do you know anything about her past relationships (or her past at all)?

 

Although none of this has to do with my advice, I'm hoping you'll get more help as to "why" this happened.

 

My advice is to run. You've already blocked FB, but you keep texting and emailing. Stop that too. Delete/block/remove every possible form of communication.

 

Then run. Her telling a married man that they're "soulmates" while living with you and saying she loved you are huge red flags. Normal people don't do this.

 

When she got busted, she became the obvious villain and she can't handle it. That's probably why she did what she did.

 

Sorry you're going through this, but you'll get more help soon enough.

Edited November 13, 2014 by SoThatHappened

[cowboysfansad]

I am 36 she is 32

She had a really bad marriage

And was cheated on

We had only been together for a few months

But it worked

Great fit best friend

Never really fought it couldn't have been any better

Her and the kids were my hole world

And i have been doing no contact for 3 days now

She wouldn't even text me to go away

Just don't get it

[jackinthebox1]

Well you went through her personal stuff and then she got caught. Even though u agreed to do that, why would you? After a few months you can't expect someone to be 100% committed on all levels, you barely know each other.

 

Wait it out, she will contact at some point once shes calmed down about you spying, but dont contact her in the mean time or she will just get angrier

[cowboysfansad]

Because she said something that was very odd

And she did just ask me to move in a few days before all

This

None of this makes sense she use to tell me

I was perfect for her family

I feel so stupid for beliving her

If she hadn't been acting wierd i never would have done

That

I did alot for her and the kids and now i am just hurt

[SoThatHappened]

This is what I see. Granted, I could be completely wrong and I'm working with very little, but I went through something somewhat similar.

 

- You and her moved in WAY too quickly.

- You were in the infatuation period with someone who may have a personality disorder. Initially, this may give you a reason as to "why" she did this, but it's not what will help you move on in the long run. I can explain more if you'd like.

- I'm betting she painted a very bad picture of her ex husband. I'd also bet the farm that there's another side to that story. She may just be playing the victim.

- Hiding other love interests while appearing over-the-top in love with someone else is not normal (mentally).

 

You dodged a bullet.

 

In my case, I dated a single mother (22, me 34) for 7 months. Same things that you experienced with this one, i.e. over-the-top infatuation, wanting her daughter to call me "daddy", wanting to live together after only 4 months, talking about marriage, wanting me to propose, etc.

 

It literally went from that to her cheating on me in less than 24 hours.

 

Thanks to this forum, I was able to do all the right things immediately after the breakup to put it behind me. Those things were:

 

- Cut all contact (I hade to have limited contact to organize getting her stuff out of my house and even prevent her from showing up to my house one time). However, no contact since.

 

- Get rid of EVERYTHING that reminded me of her. I mean everything (a book, a shirt she bought you, a gift, shampoo bottle, etc.)

 

- Don't check any form of social media.

 

- Mourn the loss.

 

- Once the mourning is over, work on yourself.

 

If you do all of these things, your head will eventually start to override your heart... and it's a beautiful thing.

 

There's a "No Contact Guide" pinned to the top of this forum. Read it and apply it.

[Mi7522]

I went through something very similiar and I have to agree that no contact is the only thing to do right now to get yourself together. I played it off for the first 5 weeks of LC and the last three NC. I feel so much better about myself after these last three weeks than I would ever have thought. Time does heal all wounds as long as you're not continuously tearing the scab off.

[cowboysfansad]

I guess the thing i don't understand is everything was fine

Until i found that e mail

 

I miss her and the kid's alot they were my whole world

And now i am not even a second thought

She told me she never had it so good

 

Regardless of long it was i was all in

What are the odds i will ever from again

And do i send the kids x mas gifts

 

I feel i lost my family and it was real for me

I was all in with her we were a team

[Mi7522]

Right now you don't do anything! You take some time to yourself to decompress, things will be a lot clearer as long as you steer away from her. If she wants to get a hold of you she will. She is no longer anyone you have to worry about. She no longer wants you in her life. Get yourself stronger and move on

[loversquarrel]

Don't mean to come off harsh but it looks like the team had a relief pitcher. This screams of a personality disorder, she either is or was screwing around with a FRIEND'S HUSBAND. Not just an ordinary case of cheating here, she's betraying a friend. I would get out while you can, you've just been handed the biggest red flag a person can be given...hard evidence.