moonlightpath Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 We met in January. We didn't become a couple until around summer time. When we first met everything felt so awesome. Total honeymoon phase. But now the honeymoon phase is fading. Which is totally normal I know. In the beginning we would have sex about twice a day 3-4 times a week. Now its about once a day 2 to 3 times. Last night my boyfriend sent me a text saying we should take break. I asked him why he didn't really say much. He just said, "I don't know, don't you want the same thing?". Of course I don't want that! Then he said that sex doesn't feel the same as it used to be. Which is true. But we have been with each other for almost a year. So of course things are going to slow down! The honeymoon phase can't last forever. Also, when we first started seeing each other we would go places all the time. We still go out but mostly we do something causal like stay around the area and go see a movie. I know its normal for things to slow down after a while but maybe he doesn't think so. Then i asked if he just really wanted to break up. He said no because he loves me. But that he feels like I get tired of him. I don't know where he gets that from. Yes, we have arguments like every couple. But it's never super serious. Then this morning he sent his usual good morning text like everything is fine. So far he's acting normal. I texted him asking if he's going to come over tomorrow or Sunday since we normally spend time together those days. He sad no that he will see me Monday or Tuesday because he has to work extra hours. Maybe a few days a part is his definition of a break. I dont know. I saw him two days ago and we had a great day.
losangelena Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 Have this convo in person! If you don't want to take a break, say it. If he does though, listen to him.
CarrieT Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 There is no such thing as a "break." It is a break-up or nothing. Don't accept breadcrumbs. If he isn't feeling it, then the relationship is over and his asking for a "break" is taciturn asking for permission to date and play around with others while keeping you on a leash: Just In Case. Don't let him use you like that. 3
smackie9 Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 It sounds to that was all there was to your relationhsip.....the sex. 3
take90 Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 You really need to talk to him and make it clear that you are not getting tired of him and that you wouldn't want a break. It's important to communicate your needs to him. Ask him why he thinks he needs a break.
cms1992 Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 I don't think there is a such thing as a break. My ex told me that too, and then we broke up for real a week after that. I know it's tough, but if he wants a break - break up with him. Just for a little while. Give him a taste of what he thinks he wants.
Keenly Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 Your boyfriend doesn't know a damn thing about relationships. He wants a break because sex doesn't feel the same? Seriously? Buy him a damn flesh light then. 2
evanescentworld Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 He wants to break up, but in a way, he's either hoping you'll do it, or that your interest will wane if you see less of him. Sorry, but in your shoes I would tell him the following: "Breaks" don't exist. If one person wants a break, it's because effort is required to address a problem - but the desire to make that effort is completely missing. If you think we have a problem, then a break won't solve it. One of two things will solve it: Either communicating openly, honestly and working hard together to get the balance right - OR - Breaking up for good, because if your heart's not in it, don't insult me by dragging me along for nothing and expecting me to do your dirty work for you. 1
Gloria25 Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 Your boyfriend doesn't know a damn thing about relationships. He wants a break because sex doesn't feel the same? Seriously? Buy him a damn flesh light then. Agreed...he sounds immature.
endlessabyss Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 Seen this situation on LS a millions times, and dealt with it myself. Best thing for you to do is cut your ties.
J21 Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 He wants to break up, but doesn't have the balls to do it. He is half assing it as a "break" because he wants the option to pursue other women. His thinking is technically you guys are on break, it won't be cheating in his book. Then when he gets bored or doesn't find someone better, he will want to resume the relationship with you. F*ck that. Just dump him and move on. Happened to someone I know. He wanted a "break" with his gf, during the break he tried to go after other girls, didn't have any luck and came back to the original girl. What a way to try and have your cake and eat it too.
LisaSmith_1970 Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 Interesting...at least he gave you a reason. I had a guy tell me, "let's take a break." And when I asked him, he said that he just wanted one for no "real reason." But it looks like you guys are still talking, which is good.
Assasda Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 You had a shallow relationship based on only sex. Now your boyfriend wants to have sex with someone else As easy as that 1
ExpatInItaly Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 He wants to break up, but doesn't have the balls to do it. He is half assing it as a "break" because he wants the option to pursue other women. His thinking is technically you guys are on break, it won't be cheating in his book. Then when he gets bored or doesn't find someone better, he will want to resume the relationship with you. F*ck that. Just dump him and move on. Happened to someone I know. He wanted a "break" with his gf, during the break he tried to go after other girls, didn't have any luck and came back to the original girl. What a way to try and have your cake and eat it too. This. OP, read this. And read it again. This is very likely what's going on. Don't let yourself become Plan B.
veggirl Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 Uh no. If a guy wants a break he can go kick rocks and take all the time he wants because I'm done. What exactly does your bf hope to accomplish on this break? What are the rules of the break?
newmoon Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 sex all the time and he wants a break? the bottom line: you're not what he likes. he's willing to give up regular sex with a girlfriend so the relationship isn't working for him in some other area. why keep putting out after someone has expressly told you they want a 'break', which usually leads to a break-up. keep your self-worth in tact and allow him to move on.
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