BellaMarie Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 I reconnected with a old friend a few months ago. We always had crushes on each other when we were young but never acted on it. Now we are both divorced, have small children and reconnected. Neither one of us were looking for anyone, we were content with being single and focusing just on our children. Once we reconnected we never stopped talking. We had an instant connection that neither of us expected. Our common interests, goals, everything was almost exact. We both agreed that we were crazy about each other and he was so grateful we reconnected. We were involved in an intimate relationship for abt 3 months. A few weeks ago he started getting depressed. He was having issues with his ex, and also recently been in an accident so this added to some finance difficulties which in turn was causing him to fall behind on his mortgage. He tried to get a loan, refinance, anything and was unsuccessful because he only owned the home for two years. Three days ago he made the comment that he felt bad that he couldnt take me out like he wanted because all of his money had to go to the mortgage. I told him all I cared about was spending time with him. Watching a movie with popcorn at home was fine with me. He said I was his amazing girl. and he was scared he would let me down and didnt think he deserved me. I told him he was being silly and that I just wanted to be with him. Yesterday he called me and said that he didnt want to but he had no choice to stop seeing me. He said he was going to have to work any free chance he could to make money to pay the back mortgage and that would give us no time to be together. He felt that it wasnt fair to me or him to still be involved while he fixed this and thought we should remain friends for now and then try to get involved after. Naturally I only heard the first part of where he didnt want to be with me and instantly went into tears. He kept telling me I wasnt understanding what he was trying to say but nope I kept going, telling him he was making a mistake and that I was willing to wait for him, just dont end us. He kept apologizing and said he didnt mean to hurt me but had no choice. I then got rid of my facebook because it was going to be too hard to see his everyday life knowing I wasnt a part of it and explained I couldnt be friends right now because it hurt too much. I know, I know I shouldve reacted differently but i really did misunderstand what he was saying and was completely shocked that he was even doing this because he was so different the day before. I messaged him and told him I was sorry for my reaction but he needed to understand I was hurting. I told him I understand NOW why he is doing what he is but its still too hard to be friends right now. but to call me when he fixes what he needs. Of course I havent heard back. I feel like an idiot. I guess my question is, will my apologizing and now leaving him alone be enough for him to forgive my outburst and hopefully still come back when he fixes the mortgage situation? One of my friends said that what he did was honorable which makes me feel worse. Ugh opinions. (Please dont be cruel, i cant stop crying as it is)
Keenly Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 You need to stop internalizing this event. This isn't your fault. He bailed. He BAILED. Money doesn't have a damn thing to do with spending time together. If some one wants to see you, they will make time to see you. If they don't, they won't. 1
d0nnivain Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 he's in a place where he has nothing to offer you. His financial problems are making him doubt himself on multiple levels. On the heals of his divorce, & with this accident he just wants / needs to lick his wounds. It has very little to do with you but the timing isn't working for him & you can't change that. Back off & get back in touch with him after the new year.
Recommended Posts