take90 Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 (edited) I met this guy online around 3months ago, we both just wanted a friendship so we would chat a lot online everyday. He insisted we meet around a month ago. He paid for the dinner, and behaved as if it was a date. The chemistry was great and we met again 2 days later. After that he backed off, the texting reduced and he said he is really busy. So I backed away too. Three weeks later he insisted I meet him again and he apologized for being busy. We met at his place, I had to drive. We ended up kissing and spending the night cuddling together. He asked me how I feel about him and asked me if I want something more than a friendship like a relationship or a friends with benefits (it was a really odd question), I said lets not think about it and lets take one day at a time. We met again next week (he is the one who asks for the date, around 2-3 days before the date), and texted a lot in between too, almost like we are on the verge of becoming a couple. It was the fourth meeting/date, he seemed even more interested and caring, he complimented me a lot and was just staring at me and smiling for no reason. He held my hand, kissed me on my forehead, rubbed noses together, paid for the date, opened the doors, it was perfect. Well, that was on Sunday. He said he wanted to meet me again on Tuesday during the last date. I didn't hear from him again, except the 'did you get home' text at the end of date as I drove home myself. I texted him on Wednesday about his day, he just sent a short reply and asked me about mine (and he took hours to reply) I sent him a long reply about my day, he didn't reply inspite of coming online! He didn't messaged me today, even though he was online plenty of times, this has never happened before, so I texted him "is everything is okay". he read the message and didn't reply. He seems to be gone, like he has decided to avoid me. I'm going through so much anxiety because I started developing these feelings for him and I thought we're on the right track but now he is gone? Edited November 13, 2014 by take90 update
Brooke02 Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 I think he just wanted sex, when he realized you haven't budged after several dates he list interest. Why else would he throw in "wanna be fwb's" If he was really interested in a relationship with you and respected you that way, he wouldvt have mentioned that IMO. I hope I'm wrong and he texts you back, but that's the impression I get. :/ 2
Author take90 Posted November 13, 2014 Author Posted November 13, 2014 Yeah that might be true, he didn't pick me up from my house on the last two dates, he lives 30 mins away and I had to drive to his place, I didn't mind it but I found it strange.
losangelena Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 Oh girl, that sucks. It would certainly seem that way, but you never know. You say he's backed away before though, right? When he asked you what you thought of him, why did you demure and say let's not talk about it? Did he express a desire either way? You never know though. I'd give in a few more days before you freak out. This stuff is incredibly hard and it sucks when people you feel you have a good connection with just disappear.
Author take90 Posted November 13, 2014 Author Posted November 13, 2014 I was just confused because he had disappeared for 3 weeks before that and i wanted to see if his behavior is consistent, I was also scared he's a player because he was always busy over the weekends and we only met during weekdays. His behavior is so erratic that I don't know what to think. It was the best time we've had. I even planned after coming home that we should talk about the relationship the next time we meet.
smackie9 Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 He's dating others yes. Call it like it is. 2
endlessabyss Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 He's dating others yes. Call it like it is. This. It's almost too obvious.
Leigh 87 Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 When he offered up FWB that showed you there and then that he didn't consider you relationship material. Sorry. When a man meets a woman who he feels has genuine relationship potential he doesn't screw it up by mentioning FWB.... Your mistake was to act too chill, and say to take one day as it comes - no, you have to ensure a guy is on the same page before seeing him continually, NEVER assume that because he acts sweet, opens door and pays for meals, that he wants a relationship with you. He had his fun with you and his actions have shown you that he tried to get a FWB with you, it hasn't resulted, and now he has lost interest since he only ever saw you as FWB material and he isn't getting the regular sex.
TigerCub Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 OP, He's trying to train you to his patterns. He wants to show you that he will disappear on you and ignore you, then when it's convenient for him, he'll "insist" on taking you out and apologizing. He want to make you a FWB and be ok with him not being around unless he's got nothing else to do. It sucks that you are developing feelings for him, but honestly, it's best to know this now, ignore him and move on - that guy is a douche. You can find much better.
Leroy82 Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 Yea, I think everyone here agrees. He was looking for sex. The friends with benefits question was the red-flag and so was the "I'm busy". When you really like someone, you find the time.. Just as girls use the "I'm not ready", men like to use "I've been busy" when it comes seeing someone they really don't like or not sure about. So sorry and not all men are like that.
Elle1975 Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 I said lets not think about it and lets take one day at a time I'd say "whats wrong with you?!" to that one. Now you're posting on LS wondering what the heck happened? You should have answered "a relationship". Starting a relationship doesn't mean you're doomed to be with the guy for the rest of your life. "A day at a time", "we'll see", "why ruin a good thing?", all of these = fck buddy type deal. And I agree, he shouldn't have gotten a second chance the first time he didn't give any news for three weeks. 1
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