kidinfo1 Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 (edited) I'm going to try and keep this short and simple. This all started two days ago. I've been getting this weird vibe between me and my girlfriend of a few months and she says she feels it too and she's fine she just doesn't know what it is. Things have just been quiet with us. It's like all of a sudden a flip was switched and things just shut off. It feels like she doesn't have as much affection anymore. Although she still says "I love you" I try talking to her about it and she says she feels it too and she hates it but she doesn't know what it is. She doesn't seem to put much effort into figuring it out either (maybe I'm putting more thought into it because I'm kind of insecure and intend to be an over thinker, and she's more of a relaxed care free person). So tonight I went to see her (she lives like an hour away because of school but we still see each a lot), and even though this was only the second day of feeling like this I tried to press it to figure it out since itd be like 2 weeks since we saw each other again (longest its ever going to be). One thing led to another and i started to think this whole thing was just my fault and I said "maybe I wasn't ready to be in a relationship when we started" (I got out of a horrible one a year ago) "but I want to this to work". she started crying saying how "she needs this" and how she doesn't want this to end and she wants to be with me, yet right after that we went to bed and I still feel like nothing was resolved. Idk what to do. This feels dangerously close to what happened before the end of my last relationship. I want to be with her. But I also don't want to get hurt and if she is slipping away I want to be the one to end it quite honestly. And this just sucks because the last thing we have with each other before not being together for two weeks is this mess.... Anyone else been in similar situations of this weird feeling with their significant other and had it resolved? Edited November 13, 2014 by kidinfo1
mammasita Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 So you had two days of "weirdness" and you think yourself into a frenzy. You're sabotaging yourself IMO. Early in my relationship, I did the same. I would think OMG he liked me yesterday and today he's acting weird. He's pulling away. Guess what, it was all in MY head and I suspect the same is going on for you. You need to take a step back and relax. Clear your head. THINK. My thought process was this "If he loved me yesterday, is it rational that he does not love me today?" and the answer in a healthy relationship is NO, that is not possible. That does not happen overnight. Relax, don't overthink and let is pass. 3
Author kidinfo1 Posted November 13, 2014 Author Posted November 13, 2014 So you had two days of "weirdness" and you think yourself into a frenzy. You're sabotaging yourself IMO. Early in my relationship, I did the same. I would think OMG he liked me yesterday and today he's acting weird. He's pulling away. Guess what, it was all in MY head and I suspect the same is going on for you. You need to take a step back and relax. Clear your head. THINK. My thought process was this "If he loved me yesterday, is it rational that he does not love me today?" and the answer in a healthy relationship is NO, that is not possible. That does not happen overnight. Relax, don't overthink and let is pass. Yeah maybe things are fine and I'm just worrying too much because of my past. But the distance thing doesn't make this easier because now this situation is what we have over our heads until we see each other again.
Redhead14 Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 I'm going to try and keep this short and simple. This all started two days ago. I've been getting this weird vibe between me and my girlfriend of a few months and she says she feels it too and she's fine she just doesn't know what it is. Things have just been quiet with us. It's like all of a sudden a flip was switched and things just shut off. It feels like she doesn't have as much affection anymore. Although she still says "I love you" I try talking to her about it and she says she feels it too and she hates it but she doesn't know what it is. She doesn't seem to put much effort into figuring it out either (maybe I'm putting more thought into it because I'm kind of insecure and intend to be an over thinker, and she's more of a relaxed care free person). So tonight I went to see her (she lives like an hour away because of school but we still see each a lot), and even though this was only the second day of feeling like this I tried to press it to figure it out since itd be like 2 weeks since we saw each other again (longest its ever going to be). One thing led to another and i started to think this whole thing was just my fault and I said "maybe I wasn't ready to be in a relationship when we started" (I got out of a horrible one a year ago) "but I want to this to work". she started crying saying how "she needs this" and how she doesn't want this to end and she wants to be with me, yet right after that we went to bed and I still feel like nothing was resolved. Idk what to do. This feels dangerously close to what happened before the end of my last relationship. I want to be with her. But I also don't want to get hurt and if she is slipping away I want to be the one to end it quite honestly. And this just sucks because the last thing we have with each other before not being together for two weeks is this mess.... Anyone else been in similar situations of this weird feeling with their significant other and had it resolved? It's only be a couple of days. There are blips in relationships. Usually, if the relationship is good in most ways, this will pass in a couple of weeks. If longer, then there is something seriously wrong. You both need to have some space, and by space, I mean psychological space, time to process the feelings or lack of feels, not distancing or pulling away. Don't press the issue for a while. Do something fun together to take the focus off that, do something she enjoys, flowers, tiny thoughtful gift, take her someplace you went when you first started going out, give a little jump start so to speak.
d0nnivain Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 As someone once said, when you start to dissect something it's already dead. Stop over analyzing. Stop putting pressure on yourselves & just have fun. Enjoy each other's company & don't talk about your relationship at all this weekend. Simply have a good time together. That will sure the "weirdness"
losangelena Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 So you had two days of "weirdness" and you think yourself into a frenzy. You're sabotaging yourself IMO. Early in my relationship, I did the same. I would think OMG he liked me yesterday and today he's acting weird. He's pulling away. Guess what, it was all in MY head and I suspect the same is going on for you. You need to take a step back and relax. Clear your head. THINK. My thought process was this "If he loved me yesterday, is it rational that he does not love me today?" and the answer in a healthy relationship is NO, that is not possible. That does not happen overnight. Relax, don't overthink and let is pass. I wish I could like this reply into infinity. I know this; I struggle with this and I do it all the time. It's rooted in insecurity, I think, and wanting CERTAINTY. Letting go of certainty is hard. OP, you don't know if you and your girlfriend are going to last—NONE of us know if our relationships are going to last!—but as soon as we start to act out of insecurity in our relationships is the moment that things start to retard and feel weird. From one over-analyzer to the other, I feel your pain. But as others have already replied to you, I would let it drop. Feelings of closeness come and go. Let it breathe for a bit.
Recommended Posts