ronjo Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 So i found out through the grapevine that my ex was in the hospital and is going to be operated on. Its been a bit over a month of n/c. When we broke up i got angry and she started crying and i wish it could have gone a bit differently. Lets say i want to show some attitude, make her think of the good moments with me, but also not to cross the border, she is my ex for a reason. Should i see hows shes doing, send a gift or do nothing and contact her later on?
Author ronjo Posted November 14, 2014 Author Posted November 14, 2014 I was told she is going out of the hospital in a couple of days so i better do something soon, if at all. I would appreciate some advice. Thanks
Lernaean_Hydra Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 she is my ex for a reason. Should i see hows shes doing, send a gift or do nothing and contact her later on? You already answered your own question. No, don't contact her. I don't know who broke up with whom but either way, just leave it alone. 1
martaldn Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 So i found out through the grapevine that my ex was in the hospital and is going to be operated on. Its been a bit over a month of n/c. When we broke up i got angry and she started crying and i wish it could have gone a bit differently. Lets say i want to show some attitude, make her think of the good moments with me, but also not to cross the border, she is my ex for a reason. Should i see hows shes doing, send a gift or do nothing and contact her later on? its tricky but I would probably send a get well soon message. not gift though.. just a nice message where you hope she will recover soon. 1
PegNosePete Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 Nope, she is your ex which means she is now effectively a stranger. Do you send gifts or cards to strangers in a hospital? If she's getting out soon then it's not too serious anyway. Maybe different if she was dying or something, but she's not, so just stick to the NC. 2
glimpse Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 You should get her... out of your mind. You're doing well with nc. Keep it that way. I agree that it would be different if she was on her deathbed, but her issue doesn't seem too serious. I don't know why and how you guys were/are, but just leave it alone.
Smarty Pants Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 Send her a card or something if you want to make a nice gesture. But understand that it won't do anything and don't be surprised if she doesn't thank you for it. 2
d0nnivain Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 Hospital + operation = I think you can send a get well card. I wouldn't go all out like if she was still your GF because as you said, she's your EX for a reason. Kindness is never bad. Also you can do this because you are doing this out of kindness not as a pre-text to get her back. 2
sooshi Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 If reaching out to her is solely out of kindness and genuine care for her, than sending her a get-well card would be okay. Saying or doing anything with any intention of getting her to feel, do, say, or think a certain way is not. That's manipulation. Since you've admitted that you want her to think a certain way, I suggest not doing or saying anything, because then you'd really just be doing it for you.
PegNosePete Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 If reaching out to her is solely out of kindness and genuine care for her, than sending her a get-well card would be okay. It also wouldn't have needed a post here to ask if it's OK or not
writergal Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 OP, if you go visit your ex-girlfriend after her operation she may think you are trying to reconcile when the fact is, you're not. Same thing happened to me 15 years ago after I was in a serious accident that put me in hospital for several months. Well, through word of mouth from mutual friends, my ex at the time heard about my accident and came to visit me. Several visits. Big mistake. I thought he wanted to get back together. He didn't. He just felt guilty for what happened to me, plus he was more worried about what our mutual friends would think of him for not going. I was crushed when I found out he had moved on. Had he just sent me a card, I wouldn't have thought much of it other than it was a nice gesture. Send her a card. Don't go visit her unless you want to confuse her, open up old wounds and have you both dealing with your relationship issues all over again. 2
veggirl Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 would you send a card to a co-worker or other friend who was having the same operation? If so, go for it. If not, you're fishing for a reason to contact her and you shouldn't. 2
Author ronjo Posted November 17, 2014 Author Posted November 17, 2014 A little update. It turned out i got wrong info. She was indeed in hospital for a couple of days for some check ups. The results were fine and she is now at home without any medical intervention done. So after all i did not contact her. Thank for the advice anyway. 1
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