Countryside Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 HELP!!!!!!!!!! 25 yr. old girl w/ 19 Yr. old guy <p> Is that okay?????? will the guy freak out? i told him and i don't know how he feels now. is this strange? should i move on? we reallly seemed to have something. some people say that any guy would be delighted to know he's dating a 25 year old chick. <p> <p> WHAT DO YOU THINk??????? help me please! thanks in advance!
Sckott Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 Enjoy it. See what happens. Nothing is anything proof, so just make sure you're both doing the right thing!
SleepingLover Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 Sheesh... is that all? I'm 38 and have a 24 year old woman calling on me. My friend whom is a (female) psychiatrist is 25 and dating another of my friends who is 37. Trust me, age is really not an issue, but maturity can be. Now, I will warn you of this, men mature much more slowly than women... and not just physically, but mentally as well. However there are some who are exceptions. Just keep in mind that you don't want to babysit either hehe. Wish you the best
GirlDown Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 Originally posted by SleepingLover Trust me, age is really not an issue ............. as long as you are both legal, which you are... have fun with it, see what happens. it might be great. my grandparents are furthur apart than that in age and they're doing just fine! (my grandmother is older...he's actually my step-father, but also the only one i've ever known.) you never know til you try it. and if doesn't work out, you'll have another lesson learned. good luck!
Author Countryside Posted March 16, 2005 Author Posted March 16, 2005 So why do my parents make me feel weird? Is there some unmentionable law that says 25 year old girls can't go out with 19 year old guys? ??????????????????????????????????? freaking i feel weird now and i shouldn't have to. what should i do?
agnf666 Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 Im having the same situation but vice versa. I'm 19, he's 25. Just go for it, and don't worry about what everyone else thinks. It's your life and it is legal.
mysticalstar Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 Hey there. First of all, i'm sure he is into you! What 19 year old Guy wouldn't want to be with a 25 year old girl!! I Personally dont think there is anything wrong with the age difference. However, keep in mind he is only 19 and he is not even old enough to get into the bars yet and you have been legal for 4 years now. I was recently involved with a younger guy he was just turning 18 and I was just turning 21. He was a great guy but he got WAY WAY too attached and I think that had to do with the age difference. I think he was very insecure because I was older than he was and had to be with me constantly 24/7 and that was the end of our relationship. Once I broke it off...(which wasn't easy because he was so attached) it took me a good 2 months to get him to stop calling. Just keep that in mind. You are the older one in the relationship and a lot of times when you date a younger man, (especially around his young age) he might be very insecure. But if you do like this guy, go for it. You never know what will happen. He might not be insecure about the whole age thing. Be careful and have fun! Hope i helped.
Linlin Posted March 17, 2005 Posted March 17, 2005 First of all, I don't really think that in today's day and age of "may-december" romances, "cougar", etc. that age really matters. If you like someone, that is all that should matter. Maturity is what matters. You may have some problem with the fact, like mentioned above, if you like to go to bars but he can't go. In Canada, 19 is legal though. My brother is 31 but acts like he is 21, therefore he and his 21 years old girlfriend are intellectually suited to each other and are a good match. I have found that I basically attract younger guys. I am 37 but seem to end up dating alot of 31 year olds. SOme are great and are mature and so are still"boys." So it depends on the person. I met a guy on the weekend who is 28 that I am going to be going out with. We couldn't be more opposite on "paper." I am 37 year old professional who is separated with 2 kids. He is a 28 year old, never been married, musician who play thrash metal music. He has longer hair than I do! But he is really sweet and kind and thoughtful, so why the heck not. The "jocks" I have been dating aren't working for me. If you like him, go out with him. If he can't handle it, move on. It is his issue then and not yours. What is wrong with some fun for now. It's not like you are getting married tomorrow!!
countryside1 Posted March 17, 2005 Posted March 17, 2005 Thanks for your comments about making sure we're of the same maturity level.........which we are. I mean, i'm totally immature for my age, and he's actually more mature for his age so we kinda meet somewhere in the middle, intellectually speaking. I think the reason why i'm having issues with this whole thing is that for a long while (a month) he actually thought i was 19 and when i told him i wasn't, it was probably a let down. i don't know. i mean, i hadn't actually lied about my age, he just had the wrong impression. and in regards to the people who say watch out because intellectually he's not as mature as me (because of age), and that he'll get attached wayyyy to fast, i think the opposite is true. i'm actually already attached to him - - -realllly attached to him! and its weird because i know i'm older than him (6 years) but its not like i really am. i don't drink and i've never been to a bar so even though i'm "legal" its not something i've pursued. i hope things work out and thanks guys soooo much for your advice and support!
MindKandy Posted March 17, 2005 Posted March 17, 2005 Definitely enjoy it. I have a friend who was 21 when she started dating a 16 year old. They've been together for almost three years and she says that in a couple of years, they might get married. Age is nothing but a number. It doesn't have to be serious, just fun. Enjoy it, you never know where it might lead you.
surfgurl Posted March 17, 2005 Posted March 17, 2005 I'm curious about this as well. is it uncommon for girls to date younger guys?
Linlin Posted March 17, 2005 Posted March 17, 2005 I used to think it was uncommon, but being on the dating scene for a year has showed me it is not. In this day and age, it seems that younger guys love "Cougar" women. A cougar is an attractive women over 30 that seeks out younger men. God, I hate that term. I always say, that I don't seek them out, they come to me. I asked a group of guys why they would want to date an older woman. They said it was because, they are independent, successful, know what they want out of life, usually at established in their careers, there is no game playing or head games, are not high maintenance (if they are they take care of themselves), and of course are sexually experienced and not afraid to ask for what they want. The guys that I have been out with have been 40, 38, 31, 31, 31 and 25. I guess 31 is my lucky number. Some have been only 1 date and others were around for a bit. And no, I didn't sleep with all of them. Right now I have made a "friendship" with a 28 year old. I am 37 and have 2 kids and never lie about my age or situation. I have to admit, I only look about 32. So you tell me why they keep coming around!!
SleepingLover Posted March 17, 2005 Posted March 17, 2005 Surfgurl, I don't think it is as uncommon as many people think. My ex-wife is 8 years older than I am. I have never been one to take age into consideration as a deciding factor in a relationship. However, I do take maturity into serious consideration. I think that many people tend to think I'm a dog because I typically have younger female friends and most of the women whom flirt with me tend to be much younger (on an average of 12 years). However, I've never been averse to dating women my own age or older. I just don't put much stock in the age difference thingy.. I think that came to more of a realization when I hit about 23 (prior to that.. I probably had a different outlook on the subject due to lack of wisdom and maturity). Once a person reaches a certain maturity level, age is nothing. The only thing that really changes after that is how much wisdom you attain. In many ways I still feel like a teenager (except for a few creaky body parts from time to time hehe) and being in love can still have that tingly happy go lucky effect. You can still get goofy and stupid when in love too. Like I said, it doesn't change much. It is just how other people percieve it that bothers some people and I have never been one to give a darn about what the prudes in society think. Most of them don't know half as much as they think they know.
SleepingLover Posted March 17, 2005 Posted March 17, 2005 Originally posted by Linlin ...and of course are sexually experienced and not afraid to ask for what they want. Not to mention that women are considered to be in their sexual prime in their 30's I know that sounds odd but I have seen more than one source that says that. I would have, initially, thought the average was 25 but it is said to be about 10 years higher. Men are said to be in their sexual prime between 18-25. Keep in mind, that "prime" doesn't mean that performance or drive in older men is lacking, it simply means younger men are more hormonally imbalanced so they tend to want sex all of the time and are a bit more aggressive at attaining it and usually have sexual relations more often. Hmmm... now that I think about it... if I had the right woman I would want it all the time hehehe... I think I musta been in a coma for 15 years of my life
Linlin Posted March 17, 2005 Posted March 17, 2005 Originally posted by SleepingLover Not to mention that women are considered to be in their sexual prime in their 30's I know that sounds odd but I have seen more than one source that says that. I would have, initially, thought the average was 25 but it is said to be about 10 years higher. You are right. It is actually closer to 40. What I wouldn't give for the righ man right now!!! I think I am hormonally imbalanced!!! :lmao:
Lin Drew Posted March 18, 2005 Posted March 18, 2005 enjoy it! You're doing no wrong. He's not under age or something, he's old enough to know what he wants. All you gotta do now is to relax, don't start with insecurities and stupid fears, they'd only distroy what you both have now... Let it flow! and I'm sure it will be a beautiful experience Oh, and the last thing: Never care about the "people will say". Don't let them get in the way. Choose what you want to choose, not what they want you to
GirlDown Posted March 18, 2005 Posted March 18, 2005 Originally posted by GirlDown ............. as long as you are both legal, which you are... have fun with it, see what happens. it might be great. my grandparents are furthur apart than that in age and they're doing just fine! (my grandmother is older...he's actually my step-father, but also the only one i've ever known.) you never know til you try it. and if doesn't work out, you'll have another lesson learned. good luck! oh my god i totally meant "step-grandfather" lordy.
life loser Posted March 18, 2005 Posted March 18, 2005 some guys think older babes are a turn on - sometimes it's a stauts symbol for them - sometimes they just don't care... forget about it and just think how lucky you are to have met someone nice you care about
SleepingLover Posted March 18, 2005 Posted March 18, 2005 LOL GirlDown.. I kinda thought that's what you meant.
Author Countryside Posted April 6, 2005 Author Posted April 6, 2005 so now sex is the big topic that hasn't been discussed. in every relationship i've been in, inevitably sex comes up. i KNOW he's had sex, presumably from things I know about his past (but mind you, he's never told me this explicitly) and its obviously bothering me. i'm not in a hurry, no, but do you think he's intimidated to even go there???? i don't even have a CLUE as to how to bring the topic up and should I even?
mysticalstar Posted April 6, 2005 Posted April 6, 2005 Hey there! Well I think in every relationship sex is the thing that couples want to know about each other....but are afraid to ask!!! I'm sure we have all been in this situation before and it is not fun. However, once you get it out and over with, you will feel better. It is hard to bring it up...but you could just tell him you are curious about how many he has been with and i'm sure he is curious about your previous sex partners. Have you two had sex yet? because if you have, you are allowed to ask him!! Like i said, i'm sure he is wondering the same things you are wondering, and he is probably hoping you bring it up. It really doesn't have to be that big of a thing, just ask him and dont be surprised with anything he tells you. After all, he is a guy!
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