d3sigN8t3dDruNk Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 Its been 8 mons since me and my fiance broke up. and I don't feel any better now then I did then. She's all I think about, shes all I want. I just know shes the right one for me, and I feel like I'll never get that back. How do you move on from this? I don't have her on my facebook, cell phone etc. I don't look at her pictures or any of that but shes always on my mind. Even when I'm out with friends and doing things, shes always there. She always has been. I feel like I'm never going to get over this. I've went out with other women, and I just find myself going back to her all the time. Is there anything I can do??
d0nnivain Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 You improve your self talk by reminding yourself that since you aren't together, clearly she wasn't The One & that person is still out there. 1
Author d3sigN8t3dDruNk Posted November 13, 2014 Author Posted November 13, 2014 You improve your self talk by reminding yourself that since you aren't together, clearly she wasn't The One & that person is still out there. Tried that. It's easier said then done.
d0nnivain Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 True but keep doing it because it is true.
tikay00 Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 Tried that. It's easier said then done. Then what exactly do you want us to tell you?
Haerts Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 OP, all you can do is give it time and allow yourself to meet new people when you feel ready to. Meanwhile, get rid of memories/things that remind you of her, create new ones. Make new friends. Start something new. Maybe move out of town? What about going out of town for vacations? Spend more time with your family? Find a new hobby? Go out more often? While my situation wasn't nearly as big as yours, since it was just a guy I was seeing, I felt something similar for about 3-4 months. I met a guy who was like a perfect match to me. It was incredible how many things we had in common. Even our favorite bands were the same! It was almost like we were twins, we had lots to talk about, conversations never died, while we were getting to know each other I met his friends, his family, went to his house a few times (he lived with his parents and relatives then)... everything was simply so wonderful, so perfect, so magical... it was all starting so great and it felt like we were meant to be... til I find out he wasn't that into me. So we stopped seeing each other. It took me about 4 months to fully get over... a guy who I was seeing for... 3 weeks, yeah. Meanwhile, I did what I mentioned on top of this post and that certainly helped. You need to keep your mind off of her. I only definitely got over that guy when I met my ex, who I felt awesome with at the start. Things didn't go well, and I got over him a lot quicker, but the other one doesn't even come up in my mind anymore. I believe once you work on yourself and allow yourself to meet someone new, things will start getting a lot better. Yes, I know, easier said than done. So much easier said than done. But you have to put in your mind that IT IS OVER. And you can't go the rest of your life struggling.
mr.blond Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 Its been 8 mons since me and my fiance broke up. and I don't feel any better now then I did then. She's all I think about, shes all I want. I just know shes the right one for me, and I feel like I'll never get that back. How do you move on from this? I don't have her on my facebook, cell phone etc. I don't look at her pictures or any of that but shes always on my mind. Even when I'm out with friends and doing things, shes always there. She always has been. I feel like I'm never going to get over this. I've went out with other women, and I just find myself going back to her all the time. Is there anything I can do?? im right there with you. Nothing tasts the same.
Author d3sigN8t3dDruNk Posted November 13, 2014 Author Posted November 13, 2014 im right there with you. Nothing tasts the same. Nothing tastes the same. Nothing feels the same. I see her everywhere I go. I feel her every tv-show I watch. Every movie I watch. Everything about us, is the things I can't escape. The thing is we did everything together. All the things I enjoy doing in life, we did together and I can't just stop doing those things b/c thats WHO I AM. I can't move b/c I own my home and I have a son I share custody with here. She, however, moved 3 hours away a few weeks ago and basically came by the say goodbye before she did. There are no photos, or remnants of her left in this house, But I still see and feel her everywhere. Time hasn't healed anything, infact, I think my feelings have gotten stronger. Which they shouldn't.
central Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 You have to create new thought patterns. As suggested, remind yourself that she is not the one each time you do think of her, and that you will find the REAL one. You have "worn a rut" in your brain, and until your thinking gets out of that rut, you're trapped and can't move in any other direction. You're learned a bad habit, and bad habits are hard to break - but you can, and it's necessary. 1
True Gent Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 (edited) The problem here is you haven't broke the habit yet. Life with her became a habit, thinking of her and making decisions based around your relationship was a habit. Now you don't have that your mind doesn't know how to react, you're still living as if she should be part of what you're doing. You need to stop that. You need to change the way you think about her and you need to limit how much you think about her. Stop allowing youserlf to constantly think she was 'the one', she clearly wasn't because she ain't there anymore. 8 months is not long after a significant relationship ends, such as losing a fiancée. You need to give yourself time on this and start changing your thought pattern. Edited November 13, 2014 by True Gent
xxAH24bx Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 I can so relate to the pain you're feeling d3sigN8t3dDruNk. For me it's been 7 1/2 months since my ex-fiancee and I broke up. On November 16th (in two days) it would have been the anniversary of our engagement. We broke up in April and she dumped me. I'm sure you have done some of the things I did text'd, e-mailed, saw her in passing, told her you still loved her, etc.... STOP IT and start loving yourself. Yes it's hard because I thought my ex-fiancee was "the one" also. Starting today go hard "no contact", throw away anything of hers that you may still have, delete her on all social media and block her on your phone. You stated you see her "everywhere you go". I bet you still know her schedule and plan some days out when you know that you have a 90% chance of seeing her STOP IT, I will admit I did that . Get out and meet new people (including women), talk to your friends about how you're feeling, read other stories on LS that are similar to yours. If you see her again and she attempts to speak just say "hello and I have to go". If she texts or calls you DO NOT answer and let her worry about you. You can't force someone to love you and if they do they will make time for you. Best of luck and go hardcore NO CONTACT. It helps trust me!!!!
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