sleepycat Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 Just want opinions really me and my ex have maintained a very casual friendship since our split by that I mean ocassional email chats maybe meet for a drink every couple of months or so. Last time I saw/ had any contact was July, but he's seeing someone else so not hearing from him I just thought ah well maybe he's just decided not to be friends with me anymore. But last week I bumped into one of his friends which made me think Ah I've not said hi (to my ex)for a while so just sent a how are you email and got friendly reply back...all fine and saying we should go for a drink soon, so all arranged, then today I get an email saying sorry can't do drinks new GF went mad I honestly was not sure whether to laugh or cry. I mean if there was a least likely to cheat on their GF award it would go to my ex and while I still care about him as a friend we were not compatible in a relationship and I certainly wasn't intending to jump him! Not too sure what I actually want opinions on now I've written that think I just wanted to share
Gloria25 Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 IMO, even though you two shared a past, he has a gf now...I don't believe a guy who is in a RL with one woman should be doing things - especially one on one - with another woman who isn't his current RL woman. Even if it's just having a coffee at a Starbucks in the public. In other words, if he likes to have coffee on a Sunday morning, it should be with his current girl - not you. If his current girl doesn't like coffees on Sunday mornings then he should decide if he should forego coffee on Sunday mornings or break up with his gf cuz that is a deal breaker for him. I have no problem with being "friendly" (i.e. if you see him walking down the street, you say "Hi" and maybe a quick "How are you doin'?") 1
Lernaean_Hydra Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 Honestly, as lax as my attitudes are, I've always said that when a person has to choose between an opposite sex friend and their current relationship, I am always in favor of choosing the partner. Though I've yet to have to "veto" a boyfriend's friendship with a female friend, I totally get it. At the end of the day, you are an ex. It doesn't matter what your relationship is now, there's still some history there that can make many people uncomfortable. Exes being friends is a dangerous game. Often, there's always some lingering/unresolved sexual tension or romantic feeling there. I'm not saying this is the case with you but many times it is. Even if one or both parties isn't particularly aware of it.
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