frozengirl Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 Out of all of the ex-Boyfriends I've had none of them ever came back and asked me to get back together. Nor was I friends with any of them either. When I end a relationship I end it for good altogether. But I do know there are those people who remain friends with their ex's or there are others that cut them off altogether like I do. But what about you and your exs? Did any contact you after the breakup and ask to get back together? Even if you broke up and they contacted you a month or year later? How many of you remained friends after your relationship ended?
Divasu Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 There was a similar question posted not too long ago, I think. I haven't seen any of my exes in a gazillion years (there are three, one from high school, one post high school/early twenties, one from mid/late twenties). No one (them or I) has asked the other "back" for over a span of a decade plus/minus a few years (and no I shall not tell you how old I am now. ). I wouldn't say we're "friends" at this juncture, more like acquaintances who have spoken with one another on rare occasions over the years.
losangelena Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 Of all the guys I've dated, I'm only friends with one of them still. All we ever did was make out though, so there wasn't a lot of complicated feelings to get over. The rest of them, no I don't talk to. I was friends with an ex for a while on Facebook, but now that my relationship with my new guy is settling in, he defriended me. Haha.
Omei Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 I've had two guys try to come back and ive kept no contact with all ex's.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 Every guy I've had a serious relationship with has asked me for another shot. In a couple of cases, I said yes - but then broke up with them again later, for pretty much the same reasons. Every one of them has tried to maintain at least a distant friendship, but I've managed to do that with only one of them. My most recent ex got back in touch with me a few months ago after two attempts at a relationship, hinting he wanted to try a third time. I was tempted as well, but I know the problems would be the same, so I didn't go for it. I recently told him I needed to go No Contact again, as I don't think I can be friends with him. Every time I would hear from him with some friendly communication, I would just pine over him and dream about him for the next week or two. So we again said our good-byes and went NC.
todreaminblue Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 i have remained friends with every ex i have had......the relationship ends....some of them oi am not in contact with anymore.....they have moved on as have i.....i have three i am in contact with...i will never go back out with them...none of them ...they know that ....i know that...one ex sleeps on my couch.....i have dated other guys and he has been civil and courteous to them all...my other ex wants me to be happy and he wants em to find a nice guy who will treat me right .....and has said he will always be there for me if i need him to talk to or if i have problems...we have girls together.. he is in another relationship .....and the person who he is with ......accepts me as i accept her.....i think...well i accept her anyway.....and i would never break up a relationship ...at one point i thought i would just because i could .....and i wanted him back......i changed my mind and grew out of that mind set....its a rather shameful one actually.......i am not that person anymore....it is possible to be friends if your motives are not ulterior and self serving.................deb 1
PogoStick Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 Just as women don't pursue initially, I find few will pursue after a breakup. However, if I did the break, there is a fair chance they would let me back if I was willing to restart the process. Generally, I've moved on too so it rarely happens. Most of my exes are willing to be friends. What that means in practice varies. If I have a new gf I'm not going to ask an ex to hangout with us. We might meet alone for lunch or chat and catch up once in a while. I do this with my ex-wife a few times a year.
ASG Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 No exes have come back, but I'm on friendly terms with most of them. I am Facebook friends with all of them but one, and keep in casual touch otherwise with them. I wouldn't say we're FRIENDS, but friendly.
d0nnivain Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 I can still find many of my more serious EXs. I don't count anybody I dated for less than a year. I do not reach out to these men but I do bump into a few of them every so often. I grew up in a small community. I work in an industry where everybody knows everybody. It would be harder to be unpleasant. I have done work for / with EXs. I attended the funeral of one. My husband is actually good friends with my high school EX because they actually share a lot of common interests. I only ever tried reconciling with one. He dumped me in November. I did all the begging & pleading . . . everything you are not supposed to do but we were young (early 20s) & he was my first love. We got back together for about 3 weeks after the new year & it sucked. It was so easy to tell it wasn't working. Because we always talked & he was very kind to me during the whole fiasco, it was easier to deal with each other when started to run into each other professionally especially since we had to be cordial under the circumstances.
newmoon Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 every single ex has (tried to) come back. i don't know if that speaks to my character or theirs. probably a bit of both since i date losers. they know they can't do better and eventually realize it. i need to start dating way up! they all come back within 1.5 years maximum, but none ever got a second chance. done is done. not friendly with any and don't ever want to be.
Tayken Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 I don't know why anyone will want to become friends with their ex....there is a reason why you guys broke up in the first place. Door should be closed and move on especially when kids aren't involved. If kids are involved, then just parent together without delusions
Emilia Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 Some come back, I hear from most of them from time to time and I'm friends with a handful of them. The most recent one is a very good friend. He is extremely loyal. Quite unbelievable actually.
Stillits Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 There was once an ex who contacted me about "getting back together".. It wasn't pretty and since then (he was my first boyfriend) I have cut ex's out completely.
Andy_K Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 It depends... Does this mean actual, real friends who speak to each other, or just 'facebook' friends who you'd say hi to but don't make any effort to see? If the latter, then most of them have remained friends. If the former, then only two. And one of those mostly because we have a kid. Never reconciled with an ex. Only once been asked.
BikerAccnt Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 I'm really only friends with one, and she and I lived together for 6 years. We're friends in that we speak/email occaionally. And if she really needs help I'll help out. But, not friend in as going out and doing things together. We generally shy awy from that.
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 A lot of guys go back, but it's usually with someone they've been with long-term. There's a certain level of comfort that is established for men who've been with women, it's like a security blanket especially if you are shown to respond to their advances...I'd say, over 2 years in a relationship. Anything less than that I wouldn't expect them to necessarily come back for a second round. If an ex hasn't come back to try and get back with you...well, they pretty much moved on and didn't have any second thoughts about their relationship with you, at least not that strongly. But at the same time, a lot of men rely on the emotional support of women that they are guaranteed an emotional investment from because they have a history with...not necessarily because they can't get over her, they wouldn't realistically consider being with her long-term just for a fleeting moment without really thinking it through. And as always, it has a lot to do with a mans options...low options mean more likely returning to old stomping grounds, especially if they have a hard time opening up and building emotional connections...that means they won't have to spare themselves with someone new. It's really simple, there's just different type of guys and scenarios that you have to understand...and I'm talking about them all in one generalization.
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