GG3 Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 I dated two guys like this. One for 5 years. He refused to stop even though I asked him to stop everyday. Thank God that relationship ended. He was selfish. That was miserable. Lovemaking is only fun when both people want it. I think he is telling you he won't sleep over during the week anymore as a way to get you to cave and let him keep doing it. He knows you want to be with him so he us manipulating you to get his way. Don't do it! I'd say "Okay then. Sounds good." He's playing a poker game with you. That's his hand. Just my opinion. 2
GG3 Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 In order to get even with him every time you wake up in the middle of the night initiate sex with him. I'm thinking something similar but not sex. Do something annoying and wake his a* up all the time just when he is sleeping like a rock. "I'm sorry I just can't help myself!!!"
Author SpiralOut Posted November 13, 2014 Author Posted November 13, 2014 That's okay. Nobody is perfect. You're not...he's not. But it's really cute that he likes you so much and finds you irresistible. Yeah I'm lucky. He just drove over to see me. We just talked and hung out. He made me a grilled cheese sandwich then washed all my dishes lol. Then he went back to his place for the night. In order to get even with him every time you wake up in the middle of the night initiate sex with him. He would enjoy that way too much. 2
amaysngrace Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 Yeah I'm lucky. He just drove over to see me. We just talked and hung out. That's awesome. I'm glad you guys got it all talked out. Now go to bed!
Sunlounger Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 what the fck is wrong with some men? Why would you wake somebody up when they just want to keep sleeping?
D-Fens Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 Sorry this is happening, sleep is one of the cornerstones of good health and it's very frustrating to have it disturbed regularly. People who have little trouble sleeping or who don't need much sleep, like him, mightn't really understand that. Also if he enjoys good health he may not realise the impact illness has on you. On the one hand, I would be bothered by what you've described and on the other, I know I was guilty of similar behaviour when I first started dating my boyfriend because I wanted to spend every waking moment with him and got impatient when his waking moments and mine weren't the same...it levelled out and now I'm the one who insists on her 8 hours! Is he impulsive in any other areas? I ask because it could be that he wants to stop waking you, doesn't have the self-control to do so, and then tries to just avoid the situation by not sleeping over - rather like a spendaholic cutting up credit cards instead of practising restraint! Sometimes the black-and-white behaviour of someone trying to control themselves can come across as manipulative, after all they're trying to manipulate themselves. But you'll see soon enough if he really IS manipulative because it won't be just one thing he tries to control. I know an added problem is that men treated you badly in the past and now you may doubt yourself when assessing problem behaviours. This was an issue for me too because my previous relationship was abusive. What works for me is never to look at behaviours in isolation, only in context of the whole relationship and all the other things he's done for me. Yes, that's common sense but it doesn't come naturally to someone who's been hurt and is alert for red flags. It felt over-analytical at first but it helped me to learn to see true patterns of behaviour and also to see that a lot of the time I was projecting - that's not to say you do of course! Good luck, I hope you can work this out.
camillalev Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 I dated two guys like this. One for 5 years. He refused to stop even though I asked him to stop everyday. Thank God that relationship ended. He was selfish. That was miserable. Lovemaking is only fun when both people want it. I think he is telling you he won't sleep over during the week anymore as a way to get you to cave and let him keep doing it. He knows you want to be with him so he us manipulating you to get his way. Don't do it! I'd say "Okay then. Sounds good." He's playing a poker game with you. That's his hand. Just my opinion. Agree with this. He is being childish and trying to manipulate you into caving. I've dates arseholes before but none of them tried to have sex wih me while sick(um,what??) or after I've said no once or twice. 1
ascendotum Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 It sounds like you are mismatched on energy levels and possibly also libido. I agree with HBN in wondering if you are all that into him if you say it 'pisses you off' when he's affectionate to you in the morning. This is the honeymoon phase. He has loads more energy and can't relate to your tiredness. He certainly a bit on the inconsiderate side I will admit, but I feel your lower level of enthusiasm and his lack of empathy and higher energy will make this hard to go long term. It sounds like he only spends a few days at your place so wants to make the most of it. Be happy a guy finds you irresistible in PJs and not lingerie. You'll complain about the opposite one day. lol I agree with the other poster who suggested you try and sync your sleeping schedules..early to bed then early to rise, or just tell him outright you cant do early morning sex and so you both go to bed early to make time for good sex sessions and sleep.
Author SpiralOut Posted November 15, 2014 Author Posted November 15, 2014 He slept over last night and he left me alone to sleep in. He kissed me goodbye and that was nice. It made me happy. For those suggesting that I must not have any feelings for him, I don't know what to say except that you and I have different ideas on the matter. We all have different ways of feeling and showing affection. D Fens: Yeah he's a bit impulsive now that I think of it. Your credit card comparison sounds about right. 1
venusishername Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 (edited) Wow, what a jerk. Even if the sex was great and I had a man horny for me every morning waking me up at the crack of dawn I'd still get pissed off. Yes, it is a red flag because he seems totally dismissive of the fact that you are bothered by it and tell him to stop. Lack of boundaries. If he had respect for you he'd be lucky you give it up and not press for it so badly while YOU ARE SLEEPING. Of course, the occasional half sleep sex is wonderful, but in this case it doesn't sound so fun :/ Obviously you like him, so wake him up in the middle of the night with a BJ with the hopes that he'll probably leave you alone in the morning Edited November 15, 2014 by venusishername
FitChick Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 Sleep is very important to me. I need more than the average person. In your case I'd let him come over on the weekend and if he or you wanted sex during the week, go to his place, do the deed and come home.
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