lopolsa Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 I turned into an insecure dick with a short temper when college started, and my loving girlfriend of 2 years called it off due to the emotional pain I was causing her. She would beg for me to just be happy, she really loved me greatly. I had originally smothered her and begged for 4 days, and stopped completely. Her interest picked up and we met 3 weeks afterwards and hooked up, etc it was great! A few days after the meet up, I got very drunk and got a text at 2am from her saying she was near my school and thinking of me. I was originally fine until she said she couldn't see me. I flipped out and sent essays about her friends and how I disliked them. She blocked my number. I sent 2 apology emails and left it alone. In that week I got with a few girls and had a lot of fun with my friends. She unblocked my facebook (we decided to do this when she originally broke up in october) on halloween, and yesterday (a week after the drunk text) she sent me a message saying: "Hey, name here I hope you're doing well and that you have an amazing day tomorrow. Read the letter I wrote if you want! It holds a lot of significance (I think lol). See you!" She had sent the letter at the start of school prematurely, in hopes to salvage the relationship and make me see things in a more positive light. I never read it and deleted the file because at the time I thought we would make it to 2 years. We exchanged letters later in the week and talked until last week friday, where she kind of threatened me with a facebook block. She was going camping for the weekend with her friends and didn't want any drama. I responded a little upset at the fact that she was threatening me and next thing you know, I was blocked on facebook a day later. Fastforward to this week! We got in contact on skype (it was a little hard to do so) and she was EXTREMELY DISTANT AND COLD. However, she finally cracked and started crying and explaining how she feels about things still. She's afraid to be vulnerable because the drunk texts really bothered her coupled with the past. She wonders why her new friends treat her so well after knowing her for a little over a month etc. I told her i just didn't appreciate things at the time. We continued talking for the night and eventually she tried making plans! Unfortunately our schedules didn't really work out for the week. She assured me by saying that she loves me and misses me and thinks about me a whole lot and "Give it a bit, we will be back in each others lives." She said goodnight and this is where it gets WEIRD. She sent "Goodnight, have fun hooking up with other girls to get over me" I disregarded it, didn't deny it or anything but responded by saying "I really just want to work on us. nothing but that matters when it comes to you and I!" she got more upset by saying "Wow didn't even deny it, I'm not surprised" "i'm disgusted" all of these things and i kept disregarding them, i didn't want to cater to the drama. She said "Whoever they were they must've been pretty ****ed up ;)" and I said "hey that's an insult to you too!" She said, goodnight i'm disgusted and logged off. I sent messages at night saying "I'll count on the fact that we'll be in each others lives sooner or later. That's what matters to me, I'm not going to answer a question that I don't want to know the answer to. Just you and me, no jumping into a commitment but I want to work on us. Let me know when you're ready for that!" and the morning: "Last night made me realize that this is important to me. I would still like to try to meet up with you so let me know when you're free. All the best!" Later that day she blocked me on skype. I'm now here with 0 ways to communicate with her other than email. I've been told that the girl still cries at the thought of us and goes through pictures. In this past week she's told me that she's always thinking about us and how good I was for the majority of the relationship. She told me 4 weeks is not easy to get over our relationship which she believed was MUCH more than serious (a lot of things happened between us and our families). She opened up and told me about her regrets and how she wishes that we would've worked on ourselves and our insecurities before things came to this point. She still wears this EXTREMELY important necklace that I got for our first anniversary every single day (she used to wear it here and there), she's not posting any crazy pictures. She told me she wishes that I could see how happy she was, and that she wishes that I could make her feel loved and special like her friends do. It confuses her that her friends treat her so well. Regardless she's just having fun with her friends and living life like she deserves to. I know that I held her back and she really fought for me to see what life had to offer. She did EVERYTHING for me (LITERALLY.) and even in the weeks prior to the breakup she wanted to show me to her friends, she wanted to show me off and wanted to spend every possible moment with me. I would love to get together with this girl again. We're 20 minutes away from each other, the relationship was SO strong until I had started to change for the worse. I've been working on myself so much, for me. It feels good to be happy on my own, I'm down 4 waist sizes, better grades, doing more. But I just want to share my newfound happiness with her. The mixed feelings are hard for me to understand. We talk and she openly and very emotionally tells me how she feels. Sends pictures of us smiling and tells me how much she misses that. We met up once and things were still there. Do i just give this situation time and space? I want to make this work, very badly
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