Isn't there a difference between a "break" and a "break-up?"

[LisaSmith_1970]

Isn't a break just to give someone space for the time being? Not exactly a break-up, but will get together in the future? Why do people think breaks mean it's done and over with and that there is some real meaning behind it? Surely, if I wasn't into someone anymore, I would just tell them that-we're done! Not "let's take a break."

[me85]

Unfortunately, there is no such thing as "taking a break" in a RS. There are only break ups. My ex and I tried that. It led to a full fledge BU. Being separated for a while and giving each other space just never works the way you want it to. Well, I won't say "never" but the majority of the time it doesn't work.

Edited November 12, 2014 by me85

[d0nnivain]

Somewhere somebody decided that you can have "time outs" in a relationship. . . where you can go off & do whatever you want with whom ever you want & the other person should just sit there waiting for you to get back. The classic "taking a break" which is really BS because even when the person who says they want a break . . . just to think or whatever & they swear there is no one else, what they really want is to find out if they can make it without the crutch & security of the person they are in essence putting on hold.

 

The only real differences I see is that break ups are cleaner; everybody knows it's over. "Breaks" are meaner because they give false hope, string it out & end up causing more pain & resentment.

 

That is not to say someone can't take some time to clear their head. After a fight -- or usually to avoid one -- I have said to past BFs & to my DH, that I need a few hours or two of alone time to calm down & get my head together. I have no problem with that but trying to let somebody down gently often hurts worse then just ripping the band-aid off

[Zahara]

Isn't a break just to give someone space for the time being? Not exactly a break-up, but will get together in the future?

 

Very rarely does it mean that. An ex of mine asked for a break that led to a break-up. My gf had a break with her bf, both requesting time away from each other to evaluate the relationship, with certain terms and a year later they were married and have been for the past 4 years. But most times, a break is a break-up.

 

Why do people think breaks mean it's done and over with and that there is some real meaning behind it? Surely, if I wasn't into someone anymore, I would just tell them that-we're done! Not "let's take a break."

 

Most times you're given the excuse of a break because the other person isn't really sure as to whether they do want to end it with you or haven't come to firm decision, maybe they can't cut the cord because they may want to have you in their life to transition to the next phase, maybe they're too much of a coward to speak the truth so they soften the blow with calling it a break.

[Mi7522]

My GF told me things were going too fast too soon and needed some space, that was 2 months ago and she hasn't come back. Breaks mean they no longer want you in their life until they figure out what they want. That is a clue to me to move on and find someone that wants to be me with me

[Strength in Healing]

The difference between "break" and "break up" is the word up, and nothing more.