LostInLosingLove Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 So, I've been NC for approximately 5 and a half months and recently received a brief text message, "Hope u r well. HB", and to be honest I was quite happy that she even bothered to send me a text after so long of NC to wish me a happy birthday. At the same time it's quite dreadful. What started to bother me is how brief and neutral/non committal the text is. It's 4 words and a happy birthday that isn't even written out. I'm wondering if that's just because I'm not worth the extra time it takes to write it out or if it's purposefully written like that to send me a message of "it's more of a formality text than anything." But when I start to think about the time the text was sent: early in the morning, when most likely I would be sleeping and also right before the start of her workday. It makes me wonder. Does that mean the message is sincere and she really wants me to have a good day? IDK. I'm really confused as to whether or not the text is due to her guilt/feelings of obligation or if it's because she actually cares. Dare I assume though that even if it's the prior, that still indicates some form of feelings towards affection? What I feel is that I shouldn't message back even if I want to. I'm really afraid of the outcome. But I also don't want to hurt her/be an_ass/lose an opportunity if perhaps the text was her way of taking a step to reconcile. She's very stubborn and not good with dealing with any type of confrontation. It all seems ludicrous though considering I haven't heard one thing from her in the last 5 and a half months and vice versa. I personally think she's testing the waters and using my birthday as the jumping off point. Because why bother sending me anything after 5 months unless it's to say "hey, I still care about you." That might be wishful thinking on my part. Thoughts? Your experience? Advice?
Chi townD Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 Sometimes a happy birthday text is nothing more than that. Happy Birthday. I suggest you try not to read anything into that. I mean, if that text was exact and word for word, then she didn't even bother to take the time to type out the words Happy Birthday. She just sent you out an HB. To me, that seems like you were a fleeting thought and too busy to be bothered to compose a little something more intimate. Stop reading into it.
Magnet Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 Let's assume that she was feeling you out... not replying won't stop her from texting you again. Put it out of your mind, it is what it is- a very small text.
Author LostInLosingLove Posted November 13, 2014 Author Posted November 13, 2014 Sometimes a happy birthday text is nothing more than that. Happy Birthday. I suggest you try not to read anything into that. I mean, if that text was exact and word for word, then she didn't even bother to take the time to type out the words Happy Birthday. She just sent you out an HB. To me, that seems like you were a fleeting thought and too busy to be bothered to compose a little something more intimate. Stop reading into it. Hmm. Well, it was "Wish u r well. HB" But I guess that makes little difference? I was kind of hoping for women's perspective as well since maybe they might have a better idea as to what, if any games are being played. As for not writing out the whole Happy Birthday, I reckon it's because the last time we spoke to each other it sort of ended unfinished/bad terms: so a "happy birthday!" might seem too enthusiastic or eager... Do you think since I haven't responded maybe she has this thinking of "awesome, now I don't have to feel obligated to wish him a happy birthday every year"? Also, should I bother wishing her a happy birthday since her's is coming up in a few weeks? The whole thing seems awkward and has me very perturbed.
Author LostInLosingLove Posted November 13, 2014 Author Posted November 13, 2014 Let's assume that she was feeling you out... not replying won't stop her from texting you again. Put it out of your mind, it is what it is- a very small text. My thinking is that some women/people only give a certain number of chances, and if you don't capitalize on the opportunity: they don't bother putting themselves out there again. i.e. their ego's are too fragile to be neglected/embarrassed so many times. Truthfully though, I don't think I'm in any condition to start anything up again other than with my feelings. I haven't really improved myself to the point where I personally would feel comfortable even being friends. There's just that voice in my head that says "I want! I want!" and "Don't mess up your chance!" It was a small text, that's put me into this moral bind/emotional spin... I feel like ****.
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