Trace Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 I was with the father of my 2 boys for 15 years. In that time he had a rare auto immune disease and was always ill. He had good and bad days, but due to his health he was very tired and weak. He couldn't work and found it hard to get out of bed most days. When I first met him, he was cocky, confident full of life, he was my first and only true love. I became the carer, mum and dad, the breadwinner and in turn very strong. I didn't mind I loved my partner all the way up to when he passed away a year ago at the age of 39. I have since met somebody else we have been dating for 2 months. He has told me he has Lymes disease. He is tired most of the time, and leans on me a lot already. I feel really bad because I like this guy, but I'm turning into the carer again, putting him first rather than my needs and wants. I just feel like I want somebody that is like me, full of energy and wants to get out in the world, somebody that can keep up. I'm 40 years old and I think it's time for me, but yet feel selfish at the same time. Any advice?
d0nnivain Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 I am sorry for the loss of your late husband. Learn to treat yourself with the same tender loving care you bestow on others. For me that is easier said then done but it's what I know I must do. You can walk away from your new guy. You don't' have to be his nurse. He will find somebody else to take care of him while you set off to find somebody to take care of you. I think you may have picked the new guy unconsciously because the pattern -- him sick & you caring giving -- was similar to your marriage.
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