StillDreaming Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 I told a guy, who I really like, that I didn't want to see him anymore. It's been over a week since I told him that, and I'm still regretting it. I met this guy online and was dating him for about 4 months. I have absolutely no complaints about him. He was wonderful, and we instantly hit it off. Then about 2 months in, he stopped texting me as frequently and started seeing me less. He was still responding back to my texts in a timely manner and still making plans with me, just not all the time like he used to... Then, I discovered through social media and friends, that he was dating another girl. I don't know how serious it was. But they went to Disneyland. He didn't take me to no Disneyland And my friends and I did the math, he started dating that girl around the time he started becoming more distant. So, even though there were no restrictions or labels imposed on us yet, this news upset me. Instead of confronting him about dating other girls. I accuse him of not being interested in me anymore. I told him I'm sick of doing all the chasing. He told me he thought I was being unfair and not entirely true.... he was right. He told me he gets excited to see me every chance he gets. But in the moment, I was adamant. I didn't want him to know I was snooping and upset at what I ended up finding. So, I told him he wasn't interested in me so I don't want to see him anymore. In the end, he sighed and said 'Maybe you're right.' The next day, he deleted his online dating profile. So I know I'm in the wrong here. I should have handle this situation differently, and all I can do is learn from it and move on. But before I do, do you guys think I would be able to make amends with him? If not to ask him to take me back, but at least reach out and tell him I'm sorry and try to end on a good note? I know we are both adult enough to reach to that conclusion. Is this totally pathetic? Or should I have been worried about the other girl? If he was really happy, we wouldn't be dating other girls, right? I wasn't dating other people. Any advice helps. Thanks! 1
Assasda Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 Call him and tell him your concerns. Thats the only way I can see it going back to what it was
mariekatie Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 I told a guy, who I really like, that I didn't want to see him anymore. It's been over a week since I told him that, and I'm still regretting it. I met this guy online and was dating him for about 4 months. I have absolutely no complaints about him. He was wonderful, and we instantly hit it off. Then about 2 months in, he stopped texting me as frequently and started seeing me less. He was still responding back to my texts in a timely manner and still making plans with me, just not all the time like he used to... Then, I discovered through social media and friends, that he was dating another girl. I don't know how serious it was. But they went to Disneyland. He didn't take me to no Disneyland And my friends and I did the math, he started dating that girl around the time he started becoming more distant. So, even though there were no restrictions or labels imposed on us yet, this news upset me. Instead of confronting him about dating other girls. I accuse him of not being interested in me anymore. I told him I'm sick of doing all the chasing. He told me he thought I was being unfair and not entirely true.... he was right. He told me he gets excited to see me every chance he gets. But in the moment, I was adamant. I didn't want him to know I was snooping and upset at what I ended up finding. So, I told him he wasn't interested in me so I don't want to see him anymore. In the end, he sighed and said 'Maybe you're right.' The next day, he deleted his online dating profile. So I know I'm in the wrong here. I should have handle this situation differently, and all I can do is learn from it and move on. But before I do, do you guys think I would be able to make amends with him? If not to ask him to take me back, but at least reach out and tell him I'm sorry and try to end on a good note? I know we are both adult enough to reach to that conclusion. Is this totally pathetic? Or should I have been worried about the other girl? If he was really happy, we wouldn't be dating other girls, right? I wasn't dating other people. Any advice helps. Thanks! If you regretted what you did then do something about it if not you'll end up in more regrets. In that 1 week, i guess he would have more time invested in her. If you still want him, tell him. And if he don't, he's not worth it. I know how you feel, you can read through my old thread. It's hurting because you thought you both were having a great time and turns out he's still dating someone else. I found out about it, i confronted him and told him to "break up". And he realised who he really wanted. I forgave him, although there's still trust issues from this as i'm still hurt. You need to ask yourself if you really want this. But know that if you "give in", he might have the upper hand. Prepare to be the "loser", prepare for the worst and hope for the best. It won't be easy, only you will know if he's worth it or not. But if i'm you, i'll go ahead and talk to him. at least i know i did my best to reach out. If i don't, i'll regret. I know i would because my first boyfriend, i didn't follow my heart and text him. I waited till 1 year later to get him back due to ego and lack of experience. He moved on. Do i regret? Yes i do but i'm way over it.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 Hun at the end of the day he wouldn't be dating someone else if he was into you x maybe tell him what u know but don't applogise x
Toodaloo Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 He told me he thought I was being unfair and not entirely true.... he was right. He told me he gets excited to see me every chance he gets. Of course he does you are probably lots of fun and easy to be around, if there was sex involved well he would be mad not to get excited! But in the moment, I was adamant. Good girl - well done, you keep up the self respect. Too many of us lose it too soon! So I know I'm in the wrong here. I should have handle this situation differently, and all I can do is learn from it and move on. No the only thing you are wrong about is wanting him back. You were absolutely right to call it off. But before I do, do you guys think I would be able to make amends with him? Why would you want to? Or should I have been worried about the other girl? If he was really happy, we wouldn't be dating other girls, right? I wasn't dating other people. Spot on Answers and comments in bold! Good luck on finding a chap that isn't a total wazzock xxx They are out there so keep your chin up chook.
CaliGypsy Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 You weren't wrong. You did what was best for you. Don't second guess it now. You ended things because you didn't want to date someone who was dating someone else. I'm guessing there wasn't an exclusivity talk at any point. Perhaps in any future dating you might want to make sure that y'all are on the same page. Sometimes, when we feel a certain way we tend to assume the other person is also on that page. Especially if there has been intimacy. (You did not specify if there had been) I wouldn't contact him. What's the point ? You now know he's not ready for an exclusive relationship.
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