rocky88 Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 Hi, I am very new here! I have been lurking for a while but I am at a point where I really need advice. I've tried talking to my friends about this, but I want a neutral party. I am 27 years old. In September I started a very small program (there's 40 people). As a class, we're all very close. However, I have become especially close with one guy. We're the same age (a lot of people in the program are younger) and I realized that I have feelings for him probably around the end of September/beginning of October. I didn't realize that I have feelings for him until someone in my class asked if we were dating. Since then, in the past month or so, about 5 different people have asked if we are dating/hooking up. I guess that got me thinking. We spend a lot of time together (we drive home together a couple times a week or take the same bus) and I just get the impression that he likes me. This may sound odd, but I just feel like his eyes light up when we talk. We'll be in conversation and just be smiling while we're talking. We have so much in common and make each other laugh. One time we were working on a project at his house and it went late and he ended up making me dinner and we just sat and talked on the couch for a couple hours. It just felt so natural. I ended up saying that I had to go but I really didn't want to. We just connected so well. One problem though - I think he might have a girlfriend. He has never mentioned anything to me (I kind of thought this was strange since we talk so much) but I overheard his buddies talking about his girlfriend.I just find it strange that he has never said anything to me...he's only referred to her as his friend to me. I did some stalking and I think it must be quite a new girlfriend and long distance. I don't know what to do - I kind of want to just ask him but I'm also so nervous. I don't really want to bring up that topic. I just don't know. Am I just imagining that he likes me? I just feel like we have this crazy connection...and other people notice it too. Should I just ask if he has a girlfriend? How do I bring that up casually?
Jules Dash Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 Hi, I am very new here! I have been lurking for a while but I am at a point where I really need advice. I've tried talking to my friends about this, but I want a neutral party. I am 27 years old. In September I started a very small program (there's 40 people). As a class, we're all very close. However, I have become especially close with one guy. We're the same age (a lot of people in the program are younger) and I realized that I have feelings for him probably around the end of September/beginning of October. I didn't realize that I have feelings for him until someone in my class asked if we were dating. Since then, in the past month or so, about 5 different people have asked if we are dating/hooking up. I guess that got me thinking. We spend a lot of time together (we drive home together a couple times a week or take the same bus) and I just get the impression that he likes me. This may sound odd, but I just feel like his eyes light up when we talk. We'll be in conversation and just be smiling while we're talking. We have so much in common and make each other laugh. One time we were working on a project at his house and it went late and he ended up making me dinner and we just sat and talked on the couch for a couple hours. It just felt so natural. I ended up saying that I had to go but I really didn't want to. We just connected so well. One problem though - I think he might have a girlfriend. He has never mentioned anything to me (I kind of thought this was strange since we talk so much) but I overheard his buddies talking about his girlfriend.I just find it strange that he has never said anything to me...he's only referred to her as his friend to me. I did some stalking and I think it must be quite a new girlfriend and long distance. I don't know what to do - I kind of want to just ask him but I'm also so nervous. I don't really want to bring up that topic. I just don't know. Am I just imagining that he likes me? I just feel like we have this crazy connection...and other people notice it too. Should I just ask if he has a girlfriend? How do I bring that up casually? Just ask him. It really is that easy.
Author rocky88 Posted November 12, 2014 Author Posted November 12, 2014 ahhhh I know I should! I think I'm just nervous to begin that conversation without it looking like I am interested in him. I feel stupid just even writing that. It's an honest question and if we really are just friends, that's a completely normal topic.
Jules Dash Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 ahhhh I know I should! I think I'm just nervous to begin that conversation without it looking like I am interested in him. I feel stupid just even writing that. It's an honest question and if we really are just friends, that's a completely normal topic. It likely seem like a big mountain to climb but it is more in your head because you like him. If you had no feelings for him, you would probably ask him without a second thought. I am sure nosey coworkers even ask him this question every now and then. 1
Author rocky88 Posted November 12, 2014 Author Posted November 12, 2014 I completely agree. Now I just need to find a time to casually bring it up.
newmoon Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 you're obviously not just his friend since it's on your mind to ask, youre obviously into him and want him to reciprocate that. personally, i wouldn't ask and would allow it to come from him (whether he is single or not), if and when it does. if he hasn't made a move on you with all the time you have already spent together that would indicate he's either a really solid bf who isn't interested in cheating, or that he isn't interested in you. the minute you ask he knows you're romantically interested in him, why else would you care. a man knows what to do if he wants a woman and the fact he hasn't done anything towards you should indicate there might be a reason for the lack of interest.
Author rocky88 Posted November 12, 2014 Author Posted November 12, 2014 Thanks for your message, newmoon. That was tough to read but it very well could be true. I've never thought that his lack of advances could actually mean that he is simply not interested. I don't know what to do!
Jules Dash Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 Thanks for your message, newmoon. That was tough to read but it very well could be true. I've never thought that his lack of advances could actually mean that he is simply not interested. I don't know what to do! I wouldn't over-analyze this. You can read enough posts on this site from guys who do not make a move on the woman they are crazy about for various reasons. I just read a post earlier this evening from a guy who claims to love a woman at work that he has never even made a move on or hinted that he likes her at all. Maybe it was your guy posting about you....or not but you get my point. Asking someone if they have a gf is harmless. I even ask other guys if they have gfs and I am a heterosexual. It's normal conversation. 1
d0nnivain Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 Talk to him. Any possibility that the buddies were teasing him about the GF & they were really talking about you? That happened to me once. I was dating this guy for a few weeks. I heard the buddies talking & got jealous. Turned out the buddies had already given me a nickname (that was the name I heard them say) & were actually talking about me when I got all upset. 1
Author rocky88 Posted November 12, 2014 Author Posted November 12, 2014 I think I'll just bring it up naturally in a conversation. No rush, but I just want to know. 1
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