ctorres626 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 I have been trying with this girl and being understanding and patient... She is 27 years old, had three boyfriends total. One of 5 years which was super serious but things didn't workout.... she went out with another guy for a year who was controlling, manipulative and was horrible for her. She tried for one month with the guy from 5 years who were talking about marriage before the break up. He played with her emotions and talked about marriage, and to go find a house for them to live while he was on a 3 month business trip. He then texted her that nevermind, it wasn't going to work. From then on she doesn't risk getting hurt anymore for a couple of years now.... I came into the picture in may and I am the closest man she has let into her life... I have been trying with her since I was given the cheek from a kiss I attempted... We went to on a weekend trip, when we walked in the hotel there was supposed to be two beds but there was only one..... We slept in one bed... We went to many islands and had a lot of fun... I gave her back massage, leg rubs and the feet as well... We had an amazing time together.... as soon as we got back we messaged a little on facebook and this is what she wrote to me..... You talked a lot about his feelings about me .... Can you make me feel good and special !! Thanks so much for this !!! But I'm afraid to hurt you ... I really do not want too. I don't want to give my heart to anyone .... I've asked God many times to not put anyone in my way I would like it very much because I did not want to hurt me !!! When I met you ... We started out ... Talk ... And you disappeared ... I talked to God and asked that I not hurt me again I do not want that for me !!! I pray regularly asking God to not awaken my heart very strong feelings !! I like you very much !!! ... I like to be with you ... You make me well !! But I am very closed ... With you, as we are today, for me I'm already running a big risk ... I love to be with you .... And I'm allowing you to do many things ... things that no one else does !!! I know and I think I know your feelings, but I can not say anything about my !! Time will show us what should be done and what should happen, but we will not create such great expectations that may hurt us !! That is my fear !!! Thanks for everything you write and will write !! I know that you are a special person. You are very smart and amazing !! You are perfect to make surprises and surprise !! Thanks for everything !! For me to spend so much confidence !! I'll try to get you the same ... The same security! I think I am on the right track, but this is going to take patience and time... Thoughts?
johnson_j Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 You're definitely on the right track if you want to have your emotions used and your heart broke. 2
todreaminblue Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Patience is always a forgivng virtue, its in the colors i feel of mainly blue, its a silken cloud in a night sky a rainbow kite let loose up high...... its where dreams and hopes are tethered to fly, just know that while we wait, god does try, to balance those hopes and dreams on high..... those dreams in blue god nurtures for them, for me and for you, for HE who knows who, when or where, for when we are ready and when we do, let those rainbow kites loose up high those dreams in blue never fade, never die god nurtures them that is why patience is always a forgiving virtue, in the colors i feel of mainly blue how about you OP do you feel that way too?......deb 1
ExpatInItaly Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 I don't think I'd invest any more in this. She's essentially telling you she can't commit and doesn't want you to get your hopes up. Listen to her and take a big step back. Also, I think she loves exclamation marks!! A lot !! 1
CoolCat771 Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 I have been trying with this girl and being understanding and patient... She is 27 years old, had three boyfriends total. One of 5 years which was super serious but things didn't workout.... she went out with another guy for a year who was controlling, manipulative and was horrible for her. She tried for one month with the guy from 5 years who were talking about marriage before the break up. He played with her emotions and talked about marriage, and to go find a house for them to live while he was on a 3 month business trip. He then texted her that nevermind, it wasn't going to work. From then on she doesn't risk getting hurt anymore for a couple of years now.... I came into the picture in may and I am the closest man she has let into her life... I have been trying with her since I was given the cheek from a kiss I attempted... We went to on a weekend trip, when we walked in the hotel there was supposed to be two beds but there was only one..... We slept in one bed... We went to many islands and had a lot of fun... I gave her back massage, leg rubs and the feet as well... We had an amazing time together.... as soon as we got back we messaged a little on facebook and this is what she wrote to me..... You talked a lot about his feelings about me .... Can you make me feel good and special !! Thanks so much for this !!! But I'm afraid to hurt you ... I really do not want too. I don't want to give my heart to anyone .... I've asked God many times to not put anyone in my way I would like it very much because I did not want to hurt me !!! When I met you ... We started out ... Talk ... And you disappeared ... I talked to God and asked that I not hurt me again I do not want that for me !!! I pray regularly asking God to not awaken my heart very strong feelings !! I like you very much !!! ... I like to be with you ... You make me well !! But I am very closed ... With you, as we are today, for me I'm already running a big risk ... I love to be with you .... And I'm allowing you to do many things ... things that no one else does !!! I know and I think I know your feelings, but I can not say anything about my !! Time will show us what should be done and what should happen, but we will not create such great expectations that may hurt us !! That is my fear !!! Thanks for everything you write and will write !! I know that you are a special person. You are very smart and amazing !! You are perfect to make surprises and surprise !! Thanks for everything !! For me to spend so much confidence !! I'll try to get you the same ... The same security! I think I am on the right track, but this is going to take patience and time... Thoughts? Hmmm More details about you please. How long have you known her for as well?
Author ctorres626 Posted November 12, 2014 Author Posted November 12, 2014 As a man, I believe that it is important to show up and to be consistent and to be there for your woman. I think that one of the most valuable things in the whole world is the heart of the woman you love. And I believe that it is a man’s duty as part of loving his woman to protect her heart and never let it break.... I am not sure I am in the love but I am close... I moved to Brazil in March and I began to know her in April of this year.... I am American,she is Brazilian and speaks intermediate English. We talk all the time and go out on the weekends. Her friends encourage me to keep going and that I am on the right track since they know her longer than I do. I know what she is going through with being hurt but sometimes people just emotionally can't commit and is afraid to let her heart love again. I am being super patient, and caring and understanding. I think she is worth the wait. My only fear is waiting for so long and nothing ever happens or some guy comes along and sweeps her off her feet like nothing. I honestly don't see the second one happening because I am a man very close to her life and more than anyone in a long time. When we go out we begin to hold hands and be close to each other but no kiss yet.
CoolCat771 Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 As a man, I believe that it is important to show up and to be consistent and to be there for your woman. I think that one of the most valuable things in the whole world is the heart of the woman you love. And I believe that it is a man’s duty as part of loving his woman to protect her heart and never let it break.... I am not sure I am in the love but I am close... I moved to Brazil in March and I began to know her in April of this year.... I am American,she is Brazilian and speaks intermediate English. We talk all the time and go out on the weekends. Her friends encourage me to keep going and that I am on the right track since they know her longer than I do. I know what she is going through with being hurt but sometimes people just emotionally can't commit and is afraid to let her heart love again. I am being super patient, and caring and understanding. I think she is worth the wait. My only fear is waiting for so long and nothing ever happens or some guy comes along and sweeps her off her feet like nothing. I honestly don't see the second one happening because I am a man very close to her life and more than anyone in a long time. When we go out we begin to hold hands and be close to each other but no kiss yet. Physical details. Age,height and so on so forth.
Author ctorres626 Posted November 12, 2014 Author Posted November 12, 2014 I am 27 5'9 fit hispanic and she is 27 5'10 very beautiful....
CoolCat771 Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 I am 27 5'9 fit hispanic and she is 27 5'10 very beautiful.... Pull away with class and resolve. If she really wants you, she'll come to you because she'll be afraid to lose you. Leave things open.
Assasda Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 Naa, I dont think she likes you that much. You seem overly concerned with her boyfriends before you. - You want to play a white knight sort of role. She's not feeling you, and you cant buy a girls affection
BeholdtheMan Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 This is what you should do: Act like a man who has more than one option. Send her a polite reply like "I had a great time with you but I respect your decision. I hope one day you'll be able to open your heart again. You have my best wishes". Now go find another girl who doesn't have crippling emotional baggage. This is what you shouldn't do: Cling to her like a desperate guy who isn't confident in his ability to attract other women. Do not wait around for her. She has made her position clear. You test that position by pulling back, not by clinging to her.
Emilia Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 As a man, I believe that it is important to show up and to be consistent and to be there for your woman. I think that one of the most valuable things in the whole world is the heart of the woman you love. And I believe that it is a man’s duty as part of loving his woman to protect her heart and never let it break.... I am not sure I am in the love but I am close... I moved to Brazil in March and I began to know her in April of this year.... I am American,she is Brazilian and speaks intermediate English. We talk all the time and go out on the weekends. Her friends encourage me to keep going and that I am on the right track since they know her longer than I do. I know what she is going through with being hurt but sometimes people just emotionally can't commit and is afraid to let her heart love again. I am being super patient, and caring and understanding. I think she is worth the wait. My only fear is waiting for so long and nothing ever happens or some guy comes along and sweeps her off her feet like nothing. I honestly don't see the second one happening because I am a man very close to her life and more than anyone in a long time. When we go out we begin to hold hands and be close to each other but no kiss yet. At the end of the day what matters is that the woman is emotionally healthy and stable enough to love and respect you. Maybe she learned a lot of things in that abusive relationship about herself that makes her believe she can't give you want you want. Maybe, just maybe, she is right, you know? You can't make another person fit into what you want, they have to be on the same page as you. She sounds like she is in a big emotional mess. I don't think she is 'worth the wait'. I think that you are drawn to difficult women and you need to ask yourself the question why. This is about you, not her.
GoBlue Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 Counseling is something that she needs to consider in order to work through her feelings and fears. Her insecurity is going to show up somewhere because eventually you will let her down in some way. When a woman or a man tries to find their wholeness in a relationship with a member of the opposite sex, trouble is waiting just around the corner. She is revealing some deeply emotional things in that message - protecting a woman's heart is an obligation many men don't take seriously (I am a man). If you become intimate with her (sex) you are going to open Pandora's box and cause more hurt. Slow, steady, and serious is the way we should always approach romantic relationships. If you can't commit to those things letting her know up front seems like the right thing to do. Good luck!
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