youcanever Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 I am dating this girl for 10 days and last week I've figured out from facebook that she is still in contact with her ex. I checked her and her ex's profiles. Her ex still has their couple images on his profile picture. He still likes her photos and as I saw she liked his photos taken in last 10 days. Also he called her when we were on our first date and she answered. She says she feels nothing towards him but she still has his number, facebook page etc and still in contact. She also lied to me that their relationship ended months ago but as I saw it was still going on 1 month before we started dating. It ended very soon. I like her so badly but I am also so much annoyed by this situation. What should I do? How should I confront her? I want to write her lots of things but keeping myself so hard.
losangelena Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Well, she does still sound hung up. How long were they together and how serious were they? You've dated her for 10 days? That's nothing. You've no claim to her behavior, you barely know her. If it bothers you, move on. If you really want to try and make a go of it, tell her very simply and calmly that you don't want to date someone who's still in contact with their ex-bf. See what she says. If she lies again or says too bad I want to keep talking to him, move on. Don't make it personal and don't be accusatory. Lay down your boundary and see what she does. 1
acrosstheuniverse Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 End it. She LIED to you already and it's only been ten days. She's not worth it and if she's like this already when she's supposed to be making her best impression it's only gonna get worse. And she has unfinished business with her ex. Do you really wanna be around that kind of drama...? I wouldn't. Are you 'publicly' together, on facebook etc? Sounds to me like you might be her bit on the side. 3
d0nnivain Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Confront is a bad angry word. You don't want to confront her. You do want to talk to her. A couple of things factor in here. The younger you are the more social media will play into things. How long have then been apart? Are you her 1st relationship since they broke up? You can't tell her what to do or who to be friends with but you can tell her this relationship with her EX bothers you & ask her to tone it down. 2
me85 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 So far, not so good. It's a shame your RS with this girl started off badly. I would probably end it now before you become emotionally invested. I'm sorry but that's my honest opinion. Still in contact with ex while with you=major red flags...Lying to you=major red flags...need I say more? Women and men are a dime a dozen. You will find someone else and hopefully they'll be better. 1
Author youcanever Posted November 11, 2014 Author Posted November 11, 2014 So far, not so good. It's a shame your RS with this girl started off badly. I would probably end it now before you become emotionally invested. I'm sorry but that's my honest opinion. Still in contact with ex while with you=major red flags...Lying to you=major red flags...need I say more? Women and men are a dime a dozen. You will find someone else and hopefully they'll be better. She says she feels nothing towards him but as I saw she liked his facebook profile photos lately. I know she likes me a lot. She invited me to her house tomorrow. She says she miss me. Also I will stay at her on friday and we will also go to another city with my friends and with her together for some fun. So, I will spend 3 days in a row with her. Should I give this week a try with her and see how it goes?
CoolCat771 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 I am dating this girl for 10 days and last week I've figured out from facebook that she is still in contact with her ex. I checked her and her ex's profiles. Her ex still has their couple images on his profile picture. He still likes her photos and as I saw she liked his photos taken in last 10 days. Also he called her when we were on our first date and she answered. She says she feels nothing towards him but she still has his number, facebook page etc and still in contact. She also lied to me that their relationship ended months ago but as I saw it was still going on 1 month before we started dating. It ended very soon. I like her so badly but I am also so much annoyed by this situation. What should I do? How should I confront her? I want to write her lots of things but keeping myself so hard. She already lied to you; no respect there. Drop it or pump and dump. Don't get attached 2
Author youcanever Posted November 11, 2014 Author Posted November 11, 2014 She already lied to you; no respect there. Drop it or pump and dump. Don't get attached What if she didn't lie but she is still in contact with her ex and liking his photos? What would my action be?
losangelena Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 What if she didn't lie but she is still in contact with her ex and liking his photos? What would my action be? Dude, just tell her that her actions bother you and see what her response is. 1
me85 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 She says she feels nothing towards him but as I saw she liked his facebook profile photos lately. I know she likes me a lot. She invited me to her house tomorrow. She says she miss me. Also I will stay at her on friday and we will also go to another city with my friends and with her together for some fun. So, I will spend 3 days in a row with her. Should I give this week a try with her and see how it goes? No. Tell her after only 10 days you wouldn't expect this kind of trouble from her and leave it at that. You'll be on a trip with friends. It's what you need. Who knows?? You may even meet someone new while on your trip?? Please don't give this girl a chance. She doesn't deserve it. No matter how young and confused she may be... 2
CoolCat771 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 What if she didn't lie but she is still in contact with her ex and liking his photos? What would my action be? I'd tell her to get her **** together with the ex and then walk. If she comes back and removes all trace of him from her facebook, etc. then she really likes you. If she's not willing to do that then she'll just mes you around until she finally gets back with him. Have you slept with her yet? 1
d0nnivain Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 What if she didn't lie but she is still in contact with her ex and liking his photos? What would my action be? You still have to talk to her. Discuss your boundaries. If she is unwilling to put some distance between her & her EX, then move on being happy that you only spent 10 days with her. 1
me85 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 There's good advice being given here but honestly, I wouldn't put that much effort into saving a RS with someone I've only been with for 10 days and during that time they lied to me about their RS with their ex and is still communicating with their ex and even liking their pictures on social media. WTH? Oh absolutely not. If he lets her get away with this she will definitely mess up again and again. By him being more or less a pushover in the beginning that is telling her he will always be a pushover and let her get away with pretty much anything. What she's already done is a deal breaker, if you ask me.
Author youcanever Posted November 11, 2014 Author Posted November 11, 2014 I'd tell her to get her **** together with the ex and then walk. If she comes back and removes all trace of him from her facebook, etc. then she really likes you. If she's not willing to do that then she'll just mes you around until she finally gets back with him. Have you slept with her yet? I have spent a night with her, we grinded, made out and hand stuff because of her period but tomorrow evening i will go to her for few hours. I believe it will happen. She always tells me she wants me in her life for forever.
d0nnivain Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 She always tells me she wants me in her life for forever. Are you kidding? It's been 10 days! Start thinking with the head inside your skull. . . . you know the one with the brain in it. 1
losangelena Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 She always tells me she wants me in her life for forever. Talk can be cheap. If a guy I've only spent 10 days with told me this, I'd never believe him. 2
CoolCat771 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 I have spent a night with her, we grinded, made out and hand stuff because of her period but tomorrow evening i will go to her for few hours. I believe it will happen. She always tells me she wants me in her life for forever. She's impulsive and is exaggerating her feelings for you. The reason why I say this is this: If she were that madly in-love with you she'd have nothing to do with her ex right now. Have sex with her. See if she still talks to her ex after that. If she does, she's definitely not worth your time, as she's still comparing to you to her ex which isn't fair to you. 1
CoolCat771 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Talk can be cheap. If a guy I've only spent 10 days with told me this, I'd never believe him. It's actually more of a warning sign than anything else. Totally agree. 1
me85 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 I have spent a night with her, we grinded, made out and hand stuff because of her period but tomorrow evening i will go to her for few hours. I believe it will happen. She always tells me she wants me in her life for forever. If you do have sex with her, please wear a condom...for goodness sake. 4
preraph Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 10 weeks isn't long enough to start telling her what she can and can't do. You didn't even mention if you were exclusive. Unless you get a commitment from her to be exclusive and you are committed as well, it's not within your right to confront her. She's still a free agent. If you want to take her off the market, then get busy impressing her with your winning ways and see if you can get her full attention and then make a commitment.
CoolCat771 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 10 weeks isn't long enough to start telling her what she can and can't do. You didn't even mention if you were exclusive. Unless you get a commitment from her to be exclusive and you are committed as well, it's not within your right to confront her. She's still a free agent. If you want to take her off the market, then get busy impressing her with your winning ways and see if you can get her full attention and then make a commitment. If she's telling him stuff like: " I want you in my life forever", he goddamn does have the right. Don't bend over like this. Don't be a mangina. You're in control. Stay alpha. Walk and see if your "soulmate" comes to you. 2
Author youcanever Posted November 11, 2014 Author Posted November 11, 2014 If she's telling him stuff like: " I want you in my life forever", he goddamn does have the right. Don't bend over like this. Don't be a mangina. You're in control. Stay alpha. Walk and see if your "soulmate" comes to you. I just confronted her. She wrote stuff like "we should talk about it tomorrow when you are next to me. I dont want this to ruin what we have." I wrote " yes we can talk ofcourse but at least now you know my boundaries." 1
CoolCat771 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 I just confronted her. She wrote stuff like "we should talk about it tomorrow when you are next to me. I dont want this to ruin what we have." I wrote " yes we can talk ofcourse but at least now you know my boundaries." I agree with her. This must be done in person. Don't take no for an answer. 2
Georgia2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 OP dump her now. She is so rude answering her ex's call on your FIRST date. You should have instantly ended the date as soon as she took that call. She knows you won't stand up to her since you didn't on the first date. That should have been a major humongous red flag.
johnson_j Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 I just confronted her. She wrote stuff like "we should talk about it tomorrow when you are next to me. I dont want this to ruin what we have." I wrote " yes we can talk ofcourse but at least now you know my boundaries." Great job man. Go to her house, nail it, then tell her either to drop him or you're gonna drop her. She's playing you like a fiddle.
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