loverboy1984 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Hey everyone So my gf of 9 months recently told me I wasn't the biggest she had after I stupidly asked her after she said it was good after we did it. She told me one guy she was with was "massive" and then asked me not to ask about her past and that it was irrelevant which I respected. For a few days after I felt so insecure and turned off by her with the thought of some massive guy f*cking her. She told me I was perfect, above average, large all inconsistent which furled my uncertainty. I have never felt this way with anyone else and have been confident in myself but want to be the best for her because I really love her. She does tell me I'm the best she's had and that she likes my skills and our connection. Now my question: Yesterday she comes home and randomly tells me that one of her co workers who I know and I work with too asked how big I am. I asked her what did you say and she said would you mind that I told her and I said no. So she said that she told her it was 8. Now I'm not 8 I'm a few hairs above 7 and she knows it. So I told her why did you lie then she said I was joking I didn't say that I told her you were 7.5. That's still a lie. I told her why would you exaggerate me and she said I thought that's what we determined you were. So now I feel worse knowing she exaggerated especially with the background I discussed. What does this mean? I know I'm overthinking it but don't want to discuss this with her further so I'm asking everyone here. Thanks 1
oberkeat Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 I would break up with her. Right now. Immediately. 11
Author loverboy1984 Posted November 11, 2014 Author Posted November 11, 2014 I would dump her. Right now. Immediately. Why would you say that? Curious to hear your rationale
Andy_K Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Get over it, it doesn't matter. Expect that most girls like to talk about sex with their close friends. That includes how big you are, what you do in bed, how long you last, and probably what sort of face you make when you orgasm Why worry about it? 4
CoolCat771 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Hey everyone So my gf of 9 months recently told me I wasn't the biggest she had after I stupidly asked her after she said it was good after we did it. She told me one guy she was with was "massive" and then asked me not to ask about her past and that it was irrelevant which I respected. For a few days after I felt so insecure and turned off by her with the thought of some massive guy f*cking her. She told me I was perfect, above average, large all inconsistent which furled my uncertainty. I have never felt this way with anyone else and have been confident in myself but want to be the best for her because I really love her. She does tell me I'm the best she's had and that she likes my skills and our connection. Now my question: Yesterday she comes home and randomly tells me that one of her co workers who I know and I work with too asked how big I am. I asked her what did you say and she said would you mind that I told her and I said no. So she said that she told her it was 8. Now I'm not 8 I'm a few hairs above 7 and she knows it. So I told her why did you lie then she said I was joking I didn't say that I told her you were 7.5. That's still a lie. I told her why would you exaggerate me and she said I thought that's what we determined you were. So now I feel worse knowing she exaggerated especially with the background I discussed. What does this mean? I know I'm overthinking it but don't want to discuss this with her further so I'm asking everyone here. Thanks She shouldn't have discussed **** with her work friends, hwho tend to gossip, and if she did, she's not the greatest person. It can also be a **** test to see how secure you are about the issue. Either way, it's a bit disrespectful, especially if she is discussing this with a co-worker and not a very very good friend of hers. I wouldn't trust her. Start looking for someone else less shallow. 5
oberkeat Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Why would you say that? Curious to hear your rationale I retract my first reply: actually, on second read of your OP, it looks like you were the one who was concerned about your size, not her. I would drop it.
SunnySide0418 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 "Massive" is not always better. At 7 inches you are big so you have nothing at all to feel insecure about. Seriously .. she says you are the best so believe her.. men are so hung up on size but you fail to realize that as long as you are the perfect 'fit' for us we are happy. 1
deathandtaxes Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Penis size. LOL. Such bs. If penis size really mattered, the whole world would be populated with foot long dongers. Your tongue is a better sexual implement. And before that, it's your brain. And right now your brain is bogged down by your insecurity over this whole stuff. 11
Author loverboy1984 Posted November 11, 2014 Author Posted November 11, 2014 She's a good person and this co worker is a friend not just a stranger. What bothers me is why did she exaggerate to make it sound better. When I confronted her she said that's what she thought it was from when we talked about it awhile back. She also said I didn't realize you were so accurate about it. Bottom line that massive comment stuck in my head and this made me feel worse. I love this girl and we are serious but this issue has brought out the most insecurity in me and u try not to discuss it with her cuz it annoys her so I keep it in and it ruins my sex life and makes me feel really depressed
Redhead14 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 It is completely inappropriate to discuss such matters with a co-worker in or outside of the office no matter how friendly they are. It is not appropriate to discuss in detail with close "girlfriends" either. If it were a close friend even and the topic came up, she could just say "we enjoy ourselves". Would she like it if you discussed with your buddies how "tight" she is and would you do something like that? 1
Arieswoman Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 loverboy1984, How old is this girl OP, because all this sounds very childish to me ? I would be very miffed if any guy that I was in a relationship with, was telling all his mates that I had odd sized boobs, for example. IMO this is all private stuff that you don't tell your pals. It would make me wonder what other stuff she has divulged? I certainly wouldn't feel very secure if this was happening to me. Only you can decide if she is trustworthy enough to continue dating... 1
CoolCat771 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 She's a good person and this co worker is a friend not just a stranger. What bothers me is why did she exaggerate to make it sound better. When I confronted her she said that's what she thought it was from when we talked about it awhile back. She also said I didn't realize you were so accurate about it. Bottom line that massive comment stuck in my head and this made me feel worse. I love this girl and we are serious but this issue has brought out the most insecurity in me and u try not to discuss it with her cuz it annoys her so I keep it in and it ruins my sex life and makes me feel really depressed She's shallow. 2
Arieswoman Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Sorry loverboy1984, but she's immature for 23. Have you thought about dating girls nearer your own age?
smackie9 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 How about this....disregard it and drop it. 1
CoolCat771 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 How about this....disregard it and drop it. Don't listen to her. Trust me when I say this. This girl will break your heart for someone "better" on the outside. Onlt a matter of time. Arieswoman is right. She's not mature. 1
losangelena Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Yes, maybe she's immature and her describing your penis length to her coworker (and then telling you about it) wasn't the best move. I don't agree necessarily that this should be grounds for immediate break up, though. People make mistakes and maturity is learned. If you go to her and tell her how much it bothers you, and she reacts badly to that, then that's a better indicator of a bigger problem. 3
CoolCat771 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Yes, maybe she's immature and her describing your penis length to her coworker (and then telling you about it) wasn't the best move. I don't agree necessarily that this should be grounds for immediate break up, though. People make mistakes and maturity is learned. If you go to her and tell her how much it bothers you, and she reacts badly to that, then that's a better indicator of a bigger problem. Definitely the best play if you want to bring things to a head. But don't be submissive about it. Stay alpha
preraph Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 (edited) Get over it, it doesn't matter. Expect that most girls like to talk about sex with their close friends. That includes how big you are, what you do in bed, how long you last, and probably what sort of face you make when you orgasm Why worry about it? I got to agree with Andy. Worrying about it is a reflection of your insecurity and that insecurity may or may not be centered around your size (from the sounds of it, no reason it should.) Things to keep in mind: 1) Only a percentage of women think a big one is a priority. Most of my friends do not. One does. I would say it's a small percentage that cares about the size that much. 2) Size of the woman is no reflection of her size or what she'll require. A petite woman may think she needs a big penis. A large woman like myself may not care one way or the other. I've heard women complain more about ones that were too big or too long than ones that were small. Seriously. 3) It's not what you got. It's what you do with that and all your other appendages that counts. Size can easily be compensated for with hand skills or other. 4) Why go borrowing trouble? The girl loves you and is satisfied with you? Why break something because of your insecurity? 5) Yes, a lot of women talk to their friends about intimate things. It's who we are. A lot of men do the same thing. It's not likely she would even want to say anything that might humiliate you because she likes you and her intent is not to humiliate you or make you feel bad about anything. I mean, she's not about to say something like, Oooh, he has this gross mole, because she wouldn't want to risk a friend letting something like that slip and humiliate you and lose you and also because it does nothing to further her girlfriends seeing how great you are and how lucky she is. And just a word to the wise. The more you are able to get along with her friends and be part of their world, the more likely you are to keep a woman, because acceptance is very important. If you start resenting her friends and try to limit her time or content with them, they will turn against you because that's seen as an attempt to isolate a woman and that's a cornerstone of abuse. And she'd be right to listen to them and leave you. So try to get comfortable with them and not fear them and what they may or may not know. Edited November 11, 2014 by preraph 1
smackie9 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Women talk about penis size, sex, etc. Like it's any different listening to the guys around the water cooler talking about their GF's tits, or her sexapades the night before.
Tabitha87 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 I wouldn't put too much time into thinking about it. Seriously. I'm a small girl & had sex with a guy who was "massive" & I'd never do it again. It hurt, was uncomfortable & nowhere near pleasant. 6-7" is better for me & even that's pushing it & can be uncomfortable at times. Seriously. You're fine. If you had good/great sex up until this point, why let something like that ruin it? Clearly things didn't work out with the other guy or she wouldn't be with you, right?!
CoolCat771 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 I got to agree with Andy. Worrying about it is a reflection of your insecurity and that insecurity may or may not be centered around your size (from the sounds of it, no reason it should.) Things to keep in mind: 1) Only a percentage of women think a big one is a priority. Most of my friends do not. One does. I would say it's a small percentage that cares about the size that much. 2) Size of the woman is no reflection of her size or what she'll require. A petite woman may think she needs a big penis. A large woman like myself may not care one way or the other. I've heard women complain more about ones that were too big or too long than ones that were small. Seriously. 3) It's not what you got. It's what you do with that and all your other appendages that counts. Size can easily be compensated for with hand skills or other. 4) Why go borrowing trouble? The girl loves you and is satisfied with you? Why break something because of your insecurity? 5) Yes, a lot of women talk to their friends about intimate things. It's who we are. A lot of men do the same thing. It's not likely she would even want to say anything that might humiliate you because she likes you and her intent is not to humiliate you or make you feel bad about anything. I mean, she's not about to say something like, Oooh, he has this gross mole, because she wouldn't want to risk a friend letting something like that slip and humiliate you and lose you and also because it does nothing to further her girlfriends seeing how great you are and how lucky she is. And just a word to the wise. The more you are able to get along with her friends and be part of their world, the more likely you are to keep a woman, because acceptance is very important. If you start resenting her friends and try to limit her time or content with them, they will turn against you because that's seen as an attempt to isolate a woman and that's a cornerstone of abuse. And she'd be right to listen to them and leave you. So try to get comfortable with them and not fear them and what they may or may not know. If what you're saying is true then why lie on his behalf? Why tell him about it after the fact? She's not proper and is trying to mess with you. It's a **** test. Two red lights up. Keep your guard up with this one 1
GemmaUK Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Hey everyone So my gf of 9 months recently told me I wasn't the biggest she had after I stupidly asked her after she said it was good after we did it. She told me one guy she was with was "massive" and then asked me not to ask about her past and that it was irrelevant which I respected. For a few days after I felt so insecure and turned off by her with the thought of some massive guy f*cking her. She told me I was perfect, above average, large all inconsistent which furled my uncertainty. I have never felt this way with anyone else and have been confident in myself but want to be the best for her because I really love her. She does tell me I'm the best she's had and that she likes my skills and our connection. Now my question: Yesterday she comes home and randomly tells me that one of her co workers who I know and I work with too asked how big I am. I asked her what did you say and she said would you mind that I told her and I said no. So she said that she told her it was 8. Now I'm not 8 I'm a few hairs above 7 and she knows it. So I told her why did you lie then she said I was joking I didn't say that I told her you were 7.5. That's still a lie. I told her why would you exaggerate me and she said I thought that's what we determined you were. So now I feel worse knowing she exaggerated especially with the background I discussed. What does this mean? I know I'm overthinking it but don't want to discuss this with her further so I'm asking everyone here. Thanks OK...some people do talk to 'some' friends about intimate things. Some people just don't. Your gf is only 23 so pretty young and this was one friend - who - 'asked her'. If I was in love, lust and all of that and any friend of mien actually asked my guys size then really honestly...really honestly I would probably say the same as your gf did. I will tell you why... I am now in your gf's position where a friend has asked..er...awkward..a bit.. (Remember this bit though..I love you and I am happy as with you, us and our sex life - all s good) I'm not going to say either of these: 'He is perfect for me.' 'Mind your own business.' ...because by avoiding the issue this friend could then decide to assume you are lacking. If I say you are 8in then you are totally not lacking. bear in mind this friend really might see bigger as always better. (I am 45, I have met a few - not many but a few and I prefer 6-7in as it is perfect for me.) Also, by saying 8in I am keeping the secret of your size and how happy I am with it to me. I don't want my friend to know these kinda details!!!! Her mistake was maybe telling you..but she really had no idea this would make you feel insecure as she has no reason at all to believe you would feel insecure about your size. Just carry on loving her (as she will you) and get on with your life.
Mrin Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Oh no! You are the dude who got all wrapped around the axle on this a while back and now she brings it up? Oy vey! Can't win. Go get some augmentation surgery and get your meat log. Ha!
preraph Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 If what you're saying is true then why lie on his behalf? Why tell him about it after the fact? She's not proper and is trying to mess with you. It's a **** test. Two red lights up. Keep your guard up with this one I wouldn't call it lying at all. I'd call it "rounding up." Everyone does it about everything. You don't say "7 and three-quarters inches." You give the benefit of the doubt (having hopefully never actually measured!!) and simply round up t the nearest number. Making a mountain out of a molehill. Putting way more thought into this than she ever did. Has she measured you? I don't think so. Have you measured yourself? I bet you have.
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