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Slept with her/Friends/Second chance?

Tommy122

By Tommy122
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Tommy122 Member

Tommy122

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Long story short.

Work with a 20 yo girl, she was interested in me, i was into her.

 

We started talking, hung out and she cheated on her bf with me

We had a good 9 weeks of fun, went out on dates, slept together and all that

She texted me when she was on a break with her boyfriend, she kissed me and was almost breaking down.

 

I felt as if i ruined this by being too emotional towards her, i was no challenge to begin with, i felt this is where i went wrong.

 

During this time she still had feelings for the BF but also me as she said, so yes i was a rebound but she did not like it when i mentioned that.

 

I went away after 9 weeks of seeing her, i came back after 2 weeks and from that point she just wanted to be friends (for now she says) she felt bad and said i dont want to hurt you so it sounds like she atleast cares about my feelings.

She says she needs time to be alone, because shes been in a relationship for alot of her life

She slept with someone else when i was away (maybe to fill a void, but i know this guy intimidates her, yes its ****ed up)

 

We spoke once a week when i was away as opposed to everyday like before, when i got back i organised to see her again even as friends.

We work together and it was normal when i saw her after my holiday, she was surprised to see me

 

2 weeks later, we hung out had breakfast (im surpised she agreeed to doing so) i dropped her off and kissed her on the cheek

 

2 weeks later, i still see her at work a few times a week and have been acting aloof towards her because she knows i do not want friendship from her, its always been more. Alot of the girls flirt with me at work and i do in return.

I can tell she still looks at me, and missed the attention i give her, it makes me wonder if she is intersted in me or not.

 

She knows id do anything for her but will not be walked all over again.

Is there still hope with her? Even though i am sure she started sleeping with someone when i went away and still is

I am not initiating any more texting or meet ups. Hopefully this is going to increase her attraction towards me because she knows im not waiting around for her. I would really like a second chance with her and do it the proper way, i dont want to be played again by her which i will bring up if she asks to see me. i will value myself more and make her realize that if i do get a second chance.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
losangelena Established Member

losangelena

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Wait, how did she play you? Because she slept with some other guy while you were gone? You were never exclusive, right?

 

I'd keep in mind that not only did she sleep with this third guy, she also cheated on her boyfriend to be with you. What does that tell you about her? I doubt she won't stop doing that if y'all are together. Why do you want a girlfriend who's prone to cheat?

 

Unless you don't want her as a girlfriend but just for the sex.

 

If you like her, giving her to cold shoulder surely isn't helping. You two are game playing big time, and it does nothing to promote honest intent and mature communication. Also, I don't think women are as into "the chase." We like to be chased, not vice versa.

 

Either way, she seems like someone who will bring chaos into the relationship.

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Tommy122 Member

Tommy122

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Wait, how did she play you? Because she slept with some other guy while you were gone? You were never exclusive, right?

 

I'd keep in mind that not only did she sleep with this third guy, she also cheated on her boyfriend to be with you. What does that tell you about her? I doubt she won't stop doing that if y'all are together. Why do you want a girlfriend who's prone to cheat?

 

Unless you don't want her as a girlfriend but just for the sex.

 

If you like her, giving her to cold shoulder surely isn't helping. You two are game playing big time, and it does nothing to promote honest intent and mature communication. Also, I don't think women are as into "the chase." We like to be chased, not vice versa.

 

Either way, she seems like someone who will bring chaos into the relationship.

 

 

Yea I guess your right we werent exclusive..

im only playing games because I know shes doing the same, she expects me to wait around for her while she sleeps around with other guys. She knows my intentions with her. I stopped chasing her to show I wont stand for this, if she wants me seriously she knows she can contact me. Im not waiting around and continually message her hence putting me deeper in the friendzone.

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Tommy122 Member

Tommy122

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So I realized I put her on the pedestal way too soon, im hoping this no contact that im trying will take her off and give me a second chance. I will not **** this up again.

Assasda Established Member

Assasda

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Posted

Tommy Tommy Tommy.... Seems like you know everything youre doing wrong.

You know everything. Yet you keep doing it.

You know how to solve your problems, but youre looking to make it worst.

 

Hey, this girl is a loss romantically. She's done.

If you want some fun in the sack, thats something else, but this girl is not any type of relationship material.

She cheated on her BF with you, had sex with someone else.

Have the self-respect that you say you have man.

 

Move on and see other women

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Tommy122 Member

Tommy122

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Tommy Tommy Tommy.... Seems like you know everything youre doing wrong.

You know everything. Yet you keep doing it.

You know how to solve your problems, but youre looking to make it worst.

 

Hey, this girl is a loss romantically. She's done.

If you want some fun in the sack, thats something else, but this girl is not any type of relationship material.

She cheated on her BF with you, had sex with someone else.

Have the self-respect that you say you have man.

 

Move on and see other women

 

 

what am i doing wrong in this case if im not talking to her anymore?

Im not looking to make it worse, im looking to make it work with her.

 

And if i wanted to get her back in the bed how do i go about this?

Assasda Established Member

Assasda

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Posted
what am i doing wrong in this case if im not talking to her anymore?

Im not looking to make it worse, im looking to make it work with her.

 

And if i wanted to get her back in the bed how do i go about this?

 

The thing is, if youre looking to make it work with her, then youre looking to make it worse.

But if youre desperate for sex; what you do is your flirt with her at work a bit, then you call her and tell her that, she should call you and let you know when you want to hang out and have fun.

- Stop being emotional, when she calls you, go out with her, bang her, then leave. Rinse and repeat.

Seems like you really like other guy's sloppy seconds.

 

Also, see other women

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Tommy122 Member

Tommy122

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The thing is, if youre looking to make it work with her, then youre looking to make it worse.

But if youre desperate for sex; what you do is your flirt with her at work a bit, then you call her and tell her that, she should call you and let you know when you want to hang out and have fun.

- Stop being emotional, when she calls you, go out with her, bang her, then leave. Rinse and repeat.

Seems like you really like other guy's sloppy seconds.

 

Also, see other women

 

 

ok so maybe it will be worse, but how do i make this work haha, id like to atleast give it a go (stupid i know)

 

 

So for the banging part, i know i need to decide if i want a relationship or a bang..if i want a bang is there high chances of this happening or more chance of rejection and time wasted?

 

sloppy seconds was never the idea, i just couldnt help how i felt towards her especially in the beginning.

Edited by Tommy122
IronZ Established Member

IronZ

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Within the span of 9 weeks of the first part of your story with her, she slept with 3 different guys (one of them being you) while being in a relationship with one of them. Come on dude, this is not the type of girl you want in your life. Don't fall for her sweet charm. What do you think's gonna happen? That she'll leave her bf, get in a relationship with you, and be forever yours? Once a cheater, always a cheater. She's going to hurt you.

 

I can tell she still looks at me, and missed the attention i give her, it makes me wonder if she is intersted in me or not.

 

That sentence makes perfect sense. She wasn't interested in you, she liked the attention. I could walk up to her tomorrow, show her the same level of attention you did, and bang her. I'm telling you, walk away from her.

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Tommy122 Member

Tommy122

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Within the span of 9 weeks of the first part of your story with her, she slept with 3 different guys (one of them being you) while being in a relationship with one of them. Come on dude, this is not the type of girl you want in your life. Don't fall for her sweet charm. What do you think's gonna happen? That she'll leave her bf, get in a relationship with you, and be forever yours? Once a cheater, always a cheater. She's going to hurt you.

 

 

 

That sentence makes perfect sense. She wasn't interested in you, she liked the attention. I could walk up to her tomorrow, show her the same level of attention you did, and bang her. I'm telling you, walk away from her.

 

 

hmm saying it like that makes me realize a bit more ...i just want to know how to get a girl like her back to a relationship position so i can understand how she works.

 

 

If i walk away id like to get one final bang..

Assasda Established Member

Assasda

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Posted
hmm saying it like that makes me realize a bit more ...i just want to know how to get a girl like her back to a relationship position so i can understand how she works.

 

 

If i walk away id like to get one final bang..

 

This whole convo tells me how poor your self-esteem is OP.

Try working on that before you see any women at all.

It'll be better for you, and them

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Tommy122 Member

Tommy122

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This whole convo tells me how poor your self-esteem is OP.

Try working on that before you see any women at all.

It'll be better for you, and them

 

 

Can i not get understanding to how girls like this work?

I need to decide what i want and knowing how to figure her out is going to help me.

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Tommy122 Member

Tommy122

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How exactly do i get to a point of having a relationship with her if circumstances where different

Edited by Tommy122
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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