thelastjukeboxromeo Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Hi all, I recently met a girl on Tinder and we found out we really got along well. We exchanged numbers and Skyped every other day for two weeks before we actually had our first date last Saturday. The date went extremely well, and we ended up back at my apartment where we had sex. She went to school thirty minutes away in SF, and she told me she couldn't stay over, so I walked her to the BART where we hugged and parted ways. Ever since then she's slow to respond to texts and may have stopped responding entirely. I'm pretty sure she blocked me on Instagram too. I don't understand! She was really into me, and she said she wanted something more than a one night stand. She even joked about getting married. The sex was unbelievable according to her, and throughout the entire date we were holding hands and everything. I know Tinder is a hookup app, but I really liked this girl, and she seemed to really like me. She wanted something more serious, and the sudden change really hurts me. What do you guys think I should do? She hasn't responded to my last text this morning, when she used to respond right away. Should I just leave her alone? Or should I wait a couple of days and call her? I think it's very disrespectful to just disappear without explanation, especially after making me think that there was something more possible. It's really eating at me, and I'd appreciate any help. Thanks!
ExpatInItaly Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Hm. When did her last relationship end? I ask because sometimes getting intimate with a "new" person can freak people out after the fact. Maybe she's also seeing other guys and isn't sure what she wants. In any event, if it's only been a day since your last text, give it some time. If you haven't heard from her after a couple days, try calling her and asking her out. Her response will tell you what you need to know.
Haerts Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Ta-da, guess what, girls can be *******s too. If she's not responding, she's clearly not interested anymore. Move on and leave her alone, it's the best you can do. If she was interested, she would be acting the same way.
mammasita Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Yep, women are *******s too and Tinder IS a hookup app and come on, sex on the first date with someone you met from Tinder? Why did you end up at your apartment? 1
BikerAccnt Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 I think the sex on the first date freaked her out. I'm a guy, and sex on the first date would freak me out at this point! I think sex within the first few dates seldom bodes well for a relationship. People always question themselves when they allow something like that to happen. It probably doesn't have anything to do with what you did, didn't do, said, or didn't say. It probably has to do with how she feels about herself. 1
CaliGypsy Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Be direct and ask her. If she won't give you a straight answer . Consider that your answer. We could speculate to the moon and back , but your best bet is asking her. 1
losangelena Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 As awful as it is, I've done this. I slept with this guy on our second date, and even though he followed up a couple of days later to say hello, I was so freaked out (I hadn't planned on sleeping with him, and he was one of my first), that I just completely clammed up. I still feel bad for the guy. On behalf of women who ghost, I apologize. It sucks and I'm sorry.
the tank Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 I stopped at tinder. Move on and delete tinder app if you want a relationship 1
CoolCat771 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Hi all, I recently met a girl on Tinder afirst date last Saturday. The date went extremely well, and we ended up back at my apartment where we had sex. She went to school thirty minutes away in SF, and she told me she couldn't stay over, so I walked her to the BART where we hugged and parted ways. Ever since then she's slow to respond to texts and may have stopped responding entirely. I'm pretty sure she blocked me on Instagram too. I don't understand! She was really into me, and she said she wanted something more than a one night stand. She even joked about getting married. The sex was unbelievable according to her, and throughout the entire date we were holding hands and everything. I know Tinder is a hookup app, but I really liked this girl, and she seemed to really like me. She wanted something more serious, and the sudden change really hurts me. What do you guys think I should do? She hasn't responded to my last text this morning, when she used to respond right away. Should I just leave her alone? Or should I wait a couple of days and call her? I think it's very disrespectful to just disappear without explanation, especially after making me think that there was something more possible. It's really eating at me, and I'd appreciate any help. Thanks! You got played son. She found another dick to ride. That girl has most likely been banging other guys the whole two weeks you were taking your time with her. We live in a sad world. Hard to trust women who are into online dating of any kind. Women go online and can choose from 100's, sometimes thousands of men. Reality is messed up. Don't **** on the first date. 1
Author thelastjukeboxromeo Posted November 11, 2014 Author Posted November 11, 2014 As awful as it is, I've done this. I slept with this guy on our second date, and even though he followed up a couple of days later to say hello, I was so freaked out (I hadn't planned on sleeping with him, and he was one of my first), that I just completely clammed up. I still feel bad for the guy. On behalf of women who ghost, I apologize. It sucks and I'm sorry. Thank you and everyone else who replied. If you sleep with somebody, you obviously like them right? So why did you freak out? Was it just a morals issue? That you felt it was wrong to have sex so early?
CoolCat771 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Thank you and everyone else who replied. If you sleep with somebody, you obviously like them right? So why did you freak out? Was it just a morals issue? That you felt it was wrong to have sex so early? Did you read my post? That is reality bro.
Author thelastjukeboxromeo Posted November 11, 2014 Author Posted November 11, 2014 Yep, women are *******s too and Tinder IS a hookup app and come on, sex on the first date with someone you met from Tinder? Why did you end up at your apartment? The plan was originally to go hiking, but we missed the sunset so we went back to my place.
losangelena Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Thank you and everyone else who replied. If you sleep with somebody, you obviously like them right? So why did you freak out? Was it just a morals issue? That you felt it was wrong to have sex so early? I was attracted to him, but we'd only been on two dates, so I didn't really know him all that well to say whether or not I really LIKED him. I didn't freak out 'cause of any moral reason. Like I said, he was one of the first guys I slept with, so I was pretty inexperienced and naive at the time. I was having fun making out and stuff, but he was under the impression that it was all going to culminate to sex that night, so by the time we got to his bedroom, it was like, "okay let's just do this!" Once you get the arousal going, it's hard to turn back. If I'd had a moment to think about it or consider it, I probably would've slowed down, because at the time I didn't see myself having sex with someone so early on. I have no idea if he'd wanted to have kept pursuing after that. After the fact, it was awkward. Having sex too soon with someone can be awkward. After the fact, I did wonder about his intentions—the fact that he was wanting to have sex so early—and whether or not he was just into it for that reason. I got embarrassed and just stopped answering his texts. Again, not the best move on my part (I know, I know), but it didn't have anything to do with him, necessarily (he was nice and a gentleman, for the most part). I have no idea if that's what's going on with your girl. She could just be feeling weird about things.
Author thelastjukeboxromeo Posted November 11, 2014 Author Posted November 11, 2014 Did you read my post? That is reality bro. Yeah I did read your post, and although in a lot of cases I would agree with you, the only reason I even went out with this girl was that she is not a slut. She hasn't even been on Tinder since she met me, and she goes to a college that is predominantly female, which was her reason for going on Tinder. You can usually tell if a girl hooks up and parties a lot. Trust me, she isn't one of those girls. I appreciate your input though!
CoolCat771 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Yeah I did read your post, and although in a lot of cases I would agree with you, the only reason I even went out with this girl was that she is not a slut. She hasn't even been on Tinder since she met me, and she goes to a college that is predominantly female, which was her reason for going on Tinder. You can usually tell if a girl hooks up and parties a lot. Trust me, she isn't one of those girls. I appreciate your input though! Bro. She played you WELL. Listen to yourself. She just pumped and dumped you. I'll tell you one thing. No proper woman would have sex on the first date. Ever. People can hate me all they want for saying that. P.S. All colleges have a greater female population..... except military college or technical schools.
Author thelastjukeboxromeo Posted November 11, 2014 Author Posted November 11, 2014 I was attracted to him, but we'd only been on two dates, so I didn't really know him all that well to say whether or not I really LIKED him. I didn't freak out 'cause of any moral reason. Like I said, he was one of the first guys I slept with, so I was pretty inexperienced and naive at the time. I was having fun making out and stuff, but he was under the impression that it was all going to culminate to sex that night, so by the time we got to his bedroom, it was like, "okay let's just do this!" Once you get the arousal going, it's hard to turn back. If I'd had a moment to think about it or consider it, I probably would've slowed down, because at the time I didn't see myself having sex with someone so early on. I have no idea if he'd wanted to have kept pursuing after that. After the fact, it was awkward. Having sex too soon with someone can be awkward. After the fact, I did wonder about his intentions—the fact that he was wanting to have sex so early—and whether or not he was just into it for that reason. I got embarrassed and just stopped answering his texts. Again, not the best move on my part (I know, I know), but it didn't have anything to do with him, necessarily (he was nice and a gentleman, for the most part). I have no idea if that's what's going on with your girl. She could just be feeling weird about things. Thank you for your quick reply! You have no idea how much I appreciate you taking time out of your day in helping me. Your situation sounds fairly similar to mine. Although we had talked enough on Skype and text for her to like me (based on her demeanor and excitement), I do feel like maybe she feels awkward. What basically happened was that we were making out on the couch when she straddled me. I told her I wanted her, and she replied, "me too." However when we moved to the bed I told her that we could stop anytime, and she thanked me for that. She was the one who told me she wanted me inside of her. I couldn't resist. It felt right at the moment and we both wanted each other. It did feel a little awkward after though, as you said, especially as I was walking her to BART (it's light a light rail train back to SF). But when she hugged me tight and said she'd see me next time, I thought everything was OK. Apparently not. Do you think it would've helped if you knew he wanted something more than just sex?
losangelena Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Do you think it would've helped if you knew he wanted something more than just sex? I don't really think so, honestly. Again, my reaction and pulling away really didn't have anything to do with him or the quality of the sex (it was good!). But if we'd gone back and tried to make it a real relationship after having had sex so soon, it would have been very difficult (though not impossible). Some relationships can overcome too-soon sex, and some can't—this one that I'm describing couldn't. Lust is really powerful. Connection happens. I don't agree with some of the posters on here who suggest that no decent woman would shag on date one. IT HAPPENS. But just like some guys disappear after sex, women will too, it all just depends. It hardly sounds like a hit it and quit it scenario, though. I know it's hard, but I would not take her silence personally. Did she ever reply to your text? If I were you I'd try and reach out again in a few days.
CoolCat771 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 I don't really think so, honestly. Again, my reaction and pulling away really didn't have anything to do with him or the quality of the sex (it was good!). But if we'd gone back and tried to make it a real relationship after having had sex so soon, it would have been very difficult (though not impossible). Some relationships can overcome too-soon sex, and some can't—this one that I'm describing couldn't. Lust is really powerful. Connection happens. I don't agree with some of the posters on here who suggest that no decent woman would shag on date one. IT HAPPENS. But just like some guys disappear after sex, women will too, it all just depends. It hardly sounds like a hit it and quit it scenario, though. I know it's hard, but I would not take her silence personally. Did she ever reply to your text? If I were you I'd try and reach out again in a few days. I have a math problem for you. Starting from age 20; if an attractive woiman woman dates 20 men a year; and sleeps with half of them on the first date for a total of ten years., how many sexual partners has she been with by age 30? Would you consider this woman "decent"?
Georgia2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 You got played son. She found another dick to ride. That girl has most likely been banging other guys the whole two weeks you were taking your time with her. We live in a sad world. Hard to trust women who are into online dating of any kind. Women go online and can choose from 100's, sometimes thousands of men. Reality is messed up. Don't **** on the first date. You are so insulting! Hard to trust women who use online dating? Who died and made you God to decide that about women using online dating? I am a WOMAN who uses online dating and I am looking for a relationship. You have some nerve.
CoolCat771 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 You are so insulting! Hard to trust women who use online dating? Who died and made you God to decide that about women using online dating? I am a WOMAN who uses online dating and I am looking for a relationship. You have some nerve. I can only decide for myself based on observation and on the observations and experiences of others. Online dating ~ serial dating. Many put their best face up, but in reality, having more options of men to choose from (at least 50-100 times more messages for females over males) increases the amount of sexual partners for females to the point where it isn't necessary to settle on just one dude... "why not date a few and pick the best".
losangelena Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 I have a math problem for you. Starting from age 20; if an attractive woiman woman dates 20 men a year; and sleeps with half of them on the first date for a total of ten years., how many sexual partners has she been with by age 30? Would you consider this woman "decent"? Yeah but that's assuming that this hypothetical woman won't end up dating any of these men long term. Who's to say a woman will only want to date serially and have casual sex for an entire decade? That sounds like a recipe for emotional disaster. I'm sure they must exist, but I don't know a single woman to whom that would be appealing. Sure, some OLD users use it for racking up one night stands, but for everyone woman doing that, there are just as many men. Hopefully you wouldn't consider a man who did that "decent" either.
Eighty_nine Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 I have a math problem for you. Starting from age 20; if an attractive woiman woman dates 20 men a year; and sleeps with half of them on the first date for a total of ten years., how many sexual partners has she been with by age 30? Would you consider this woman "decent"? wtf? I forget there are actually men who think like this. So if a woman ever has sex on the first date, it means she regularly does so, 10x a year? Please.
CoolCat771 Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 wtf? I forget there are actually men who think like this. So if a woman ever has sex on the first date, it means she regularly does so, 10x a year? Please. With online dating and social media, women are averaging at least 10x the dates of men/year, if not more than that. For a women who has sex on the first date, it can get out of control. You can thank social media for this trend.
CoolCat771 Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 Yeah but that's assuming that this hypothetical woman won't end up dating any of these men long term. Who's to say a woman will only want to date serially and have casual sex for an entire decade? That sounds like a recipe for emotional disaster. I'm sure they must exist, but I don't know a single woman to whom that would be appealing. Sure, some OLD users use it for racking up one night stands, but for everyone woman doing that, there are just as many men. Hopefully you wouldn't consider a man who did that "decent" either. such is the newer generation of women under 25, who are doing as the media is telling them to do. The reverse is just as bad. I'm not partial to any one side. I'm just stating the facts.
NJ123 Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 such is the newer generation of women under 25, who are doing as the media is telling them to do. The reverse is just as bad. I'm not partial to any one side. I'm just stating the facts. I agree that social media has really made things way worse. I wouldn't want to be with a woman who's obsessively into social media. All that instagram, Facebook, Tinder, & other bull**** causes so much drama in relationships. Even just liking some guys picture on Facebook, or the guy liking a woman's picture will cause huge arguments & think their cheating. And the sad thing is sometimes that's even the case.... And some even go on Tinder just for "attention" or "validation" when a lot of the time it turns out the man/woman is sleeping around because it's so easy to these days. 1
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