SiaLv82 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 I downloaded tinder on a whim about two months ago and was same day matched with a guy about 80 some miles away. We hit it off immediately. He eventually turned out to be the only one off the app I was comfortable w/ giving my number. I prolonged getting together a bit longer than I guess I should have. He was willing to drive the 2 hrs to come see me and was set on meeting me from the get-go. I needed more time after all tinder wasn't meant to be taken seriously. After two weeks on tinder, one week texting, our work schedules conflicted for the weekend we were suppose to get together. This was the third time he tried to meet me and it failed. He lost interested and the texts went to nonexistent. I reached out to him a week later, he had been sick, I said well since our schedules conflict lets just facetime when he felt up to it. He wrote a quick response that was obviously a "friendly brushoff" to the idea. I didn't hear from him again after that point. From the initial convo he hounded me to get together. When I gave him my phone number he stopped going on tinder completely, he reached out to me for the weeks we talked, I didn't have to pursue at all --not something u expect on that app at all. Well, I got a hold of his FB and realized that this is someone I would totally date "real life." He put lousy pics on tinder for some reason and via fb is actually quite my type. He was also a total gentlemen when we spoke --nothing sexual. So now of course I really regret this. LIKE really regret. I'm 32. He's 34. How I found someone like this on some silly app I don't know. So its been two weeks now since he went silent. Its 100% my fault. My friends are telling me to take a day trip near his city and just reach out to him that I'll be in the area work related. ( he knows I travel for work). I am sort of considering it. I don't normally do stuff like this but he may be worth it. And at 32, they don't come often....perspectives for this crazy girl?
losangelena Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Sorry, maybe I missed it—why is this all your fault? The fact that this guy was so put off with your failed attempts at meeting means that this is really not someone you want to know. Just because you put him off an extra week for your own comfort—you didn't do anything "bad" or "wrong." Please remember that. So what if he seems great on Facebook. The fact that he doesn't present himself that way on Tinder is a red flag to me. Plus, the fact that he didn't approach you in a sexual way doesn't mean he wouldn't try to hit and run. Many guys who are just in it to get laid aren't going to be blatantly sexual in communicating with you because they know they have a better chance if they don't. I say good riddance to this guy.
Yookie Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 I'm betting that he set it up to be 80 miles away on purpose. 1
PogoStick Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Sorry, maybe I missed it—why is this all your fault? The fact that this guy was so put off with your failed attempts at meeting means that this is really not someone you want to know. Just because you put him off an extra week for your own comfort—you didn't do anything "bad" or "wrong." Please remember that. So what if he seems great on Facebook. The fact that he doesn't present himself that way on Tinder is a red flag to me. Plus, the fact that he didn't approach you in a sexual way doesn't mean he wouldn't try to hit and run. Many guys who are just in it to get laid aren't going to be blatantly sexual in communicating with you because they know they have a better chance if they don't. I say good riddance to this guy. Wow he pursues her for weeks, makes plans to drive 2 hours to see her, she cancels...and he's the jerk! Uh-mazing! 2
irresolute Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 No, you did nothing to mess it up. Itsthe crazy distance. 80 miles seriously?? Find someone closer.
Author SiaLv82 Posted November 11, 2014 Author Posted November 11, 2014 I don't think someone would drive 80 miles just to get laid. I do agree that his tinder not matching up to his fb is a red flag. He did have decent pics up and a bio when we first started talking. After the brush off, he deleted those pics put up new ones and removed his bio completely -that's when his profile didn't really seem to match. I totally agree with the 80 miles. That is exactly why I was put off about it in the beginning. However, I live in a very rural area and he lives in a heavy populated city so our reasons for the drive would be different. I don't really understand why he would go to the trouble, he has people in his area! I agree with the brush off after the last attempt. I find that odd. The only thing I can think of is that he either met someone else closer or just got sick of trying. If its the latter, I would still want to meet up. Which is why I'm considering taking the chance. It seems the collective response here is a big no!
candie13 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 hum... some men will drive a lot further for sex. Others won't. There's no rule. thing is, you either play or you don't. Of course, it's important to make sure that the guy is not a weirdo, married with kids and that there's a certain degree of compatibility. From the moment you understood this, it's time to see them face to face. I hate wasting my time texting, it creates a false sense of intimacy. Meet real people in real life. If you're not ready to date or to to OLD, stay home. Oh, and it's a rough world out there, especially Tinder /OLD. Better toughen up before stepping outside.
Yookie Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Wow he pursues her for weeks, makes plans to drive 2 hours to see her, she cancels...and he's the jerk! Uh-mazing! They were only texting for ONE week according to her post and "From the initial convo he hounded" her to get together. After she canceled the weekend, she offered to do facetime and he brushed her off. His FB is suspect and he's traveling 80 miles away to see her. Sounds like someone who doesn't want to spend anytime just getting to know her before meeting and/or doesn't want to get caught by the woman he's dating or married to in his hometown.
losangelena Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 If that's your attitude, then reach out to him. If he's uninterested, it won't change his mind. If he is, he'll be happy to hear from you. Absolutely nothing is at stake if you reach out one more time.
Diezel Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 The rule of distance goes like this: The higher the attractiveness of a woman and the higher the chance of getting laid is will easily outweigh the distance driven. If you are at least comparably attractive and his chances of getting laid are close to 100%, that man will carry a burro on his back and get there to you if need be.
Assasda Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 So this guy wants to meet, but you keep blowing him off. Then he says "I guess we wont meet, forget this" You go on facebook, and is like "Oh he really is my type, we should meet" hahahahaha get outta here You've had your chance to meet this dude. Youre not on his radar anymore. Hopefully he's on to the next one 1
Author SiaLv82 Posted November 13, 2014 Author Posted November 13, 2014 Ok you made me laugh and yes you are right, that is why I had a very "palm to face" moment when I got a hold of fb profile. The thing is I didn't want to be a stalker...yet the THING is really that I should have been....it would have save heartache. You live and you learn right? Thank you everyone
LostOnes05 Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 I have to agree with Pogo and Assasda on this one. From a guy's perspective if you try and try to meet up with someone and they keep brushing you off, that's definitely a sign of disinterest.
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