birdy1105 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 My breakup has taken a traumatic turn for the worst and I could really use some input/advice/consoling words. A month ago, my BF of 3.5 years broke up with me due to lingering trust issues that resulted from his repetitive cheating. We were both devastated by the breakup as we had been passionately in love. But for weeks, my ex has been engaging in really bad post-BU behavior, including subtweeting sad, bitter and angry things about me, basically just vomiting his breakup issues on social media, and acting jealous when he found out I'm hanging out with guys. Last week when I celebrated my birthday, he posted a series a depressing tweets, then I found out through common friends that he was jealous of a guy friend I hung out with. My ex promptly blocked and unfriended the guy on social media. At this point, I'm fully committed to moving on and neither miss him nor want him back, but I feel extremely wounded. Now it's all just come to this: He's back in touch with my former best friend, with whom he had cheated on me around the start of our relationship. Background info: she rejected him way back and he was hurt by it; and she was just dumped by a cheating boyfriend two months ago, so they're basically rebounding on each other. Recently he's been tweeting **** about "finding someone with demons that match yours" or "someone who accepts you at your weakest," but still seems generally bitter about everything. His friends have recently told me that he's "coping" and "angry." So how bad is this? I'm thinking of confronting my ex-best friend, to try and see if I can turn this into a counter-offensive. But I'm also so tired and just want to move on, but feel really betrayed. I'm not sure if I'm biased or just trying to console myself, but the rebound seems like it could blow up in their faces. Any input?
X14Halo Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 (edited) I hear your pain and it must be hard. Here is my 2 cents...you must move on and let the healing begin. You don't want to be with somebody who cheats on you or acts this immature no matter how in love you think you were with them. Of course you are going to feel attached to somebody who you've been with for so long. It's not easy. There are so many better guys out there who will treat you with respect, even if things turn sour. You will find the right one. I think the best option here is to block him from social media so that you stop seeing all of this nonsense get posted. You need to hide everything that reminds you of him. It will only keep hurting you to think of him. Just cut him out from your life and try to heal and date some other people. He broke up with YOU and now you are letting his bitterness and immaturity stop you from moving on to the next chapter of your life. Use this as a learning experience. And if it is your EX-friend that is also bothering you by seeing him, why do you care? It is your EX friend for a reason. You need to cut off these bad things and heal. Life will go on and your next relationship will be so much better from all you have learned and experienced. Get out there and get back in touch with yourself and what you like to do. Hang out with your friends and pick up a new hobby. I have been through a rough time too recently but it made me realize how amazing my friends and family are. Spill everything to them and get their perspective on things. You will feel 1000% better the more you talk about it to people you know. Life is too short to get hung up on such silly things. Edited November 11, 2014 by X14Halo
Omei Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 You do not do anything. You focus on yourself and move on like you say.
Thegreatestthing Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 (edited) He is an idiot,he has wounded you as you said,he's emotionally devestating you,do not look at his twitter at all,dont read anything about him,get rid of him you will feel much more powerful. There are many many men out there who you can feel all those powerful emotions with,find a few. Edited November 11, 2014 by Thegreatestthing
Author birdy1105 Posted November 12, 2014 Author Posted November 12, 2014 I hear your pain and it must be hard. Here is my 2 cents...you must move on and let the healing begin. You don't want to be with somebody who cheats on you or acts this immature no matter how in love you think you were with them. Of course you are going to feel attached to somebody who you've been with for so long. It's not easy. There are so many better guys out there who will treat you with respect, even if things turn sour. You will find the right one. I think the best option here is to block him from social media so that you stop seeing all of this nonsense get posted. You need to hide everything that reminds you of him. It will only keep hurting you to think of him. Just cut him out from your life and try to heal and date some other people. He broke up with YOU and now you are letting his bitterness and immaturity stop you from moving on to the next chapter of your life. Use this as a learning experience. And if it is your EX-friend that is also bothering you by seeing him, why do you care? It is your EX friend for a reason. You need to cut off these bad things and heal. Life will go on and your next relationship will be so much better from all you have learned and experienced. Get out there and get back in touch with yourself and what you like to do. Hang out with your friends and pick up a new hobby. I have been through a rough time too recently but it made me realize how amazing my friends and family are. Spill everything to them and get their perspective on things. You will feel 1000% better the more you talk about it to people you know. Life is too short to get hung up on such silly things. Thank you for this, it's been incredibly painful. I just want to get over it as soon as possible. I wish there was something else I could do to just move past it.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 First of all, block/delete him from all social media. There is no reason for you to be reading his "boo-hoo, look-at-me!" childish tweets. (Seriously, is he 16?) Tell his friends not to give you updates about him or how he's doing. Second, keep in mind that someone who cheats on you over and over isn't passionately in love. I know that's blunt, but you have to face the reality of this relationship to help yourself move on. People who are really in love with their partners aren't unfaithful to them. Period. Third, don't confront anyone. I don't see how that will benefit you. Go 100% No Contact with him and your ex-best friend. They are toxic to you and don't deserve any attention from you. He sounds like a twerp and she, well...she doesn't know the meaning of friendship.
Standard-Fare Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 Pretty much of all of the challenges to your healing seem to be rooted in social media. So, exactly as the poster above said: You need to stop paying attention to your ex online. It's giving you an unnatural window into his life, and he also seems to be using it in a manipulative way. Sounds as if you already cut ties with this former "best friend" long ago, so there is absolutely no reason to be in touch with her now, regardless of your suspicions. Confronting her would not change anything about this situation; it would only fuel unnecessary drama. You two don't care about each other. Bottom line: Choose to be kind to yourself and stay off social media.
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