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Is it safe to say that this guy won't ask for a second date?


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Posted

I met this guy on okcupid and we met up for drinks last week. It was ok, conversation was good. When it was time to say good-bye, he just hugged me and said it was nice to meet me. He didn't mention anything about meeting up again, the only thing he said was that he would like to know what my girlfriends thought of him when he was telling me about how important looks and being in shape are. Before we met up, he kept texting me daily, sending me pictures of him on halloween, and what he was doing in his daily life. And I absolutely hate it when guys waste their time texting everyday before meeting up in person, because once they meet up-they are not interested and therefore I won't hear back for them ever again. So..why waste time texting beforehand?

Posted

Tons of guys from these online sites like to waste time bull****ting back and forth.

 

I make it a point now to barely talk to anyone via text before we meet up. I've been burned a few times when there was a "connection" via text, and then we met up and I never heard from the guy again.

 

Now, I'll virtually one word answer or a few word answer the guy up until our date. I won't have any meaningful conversations, I won't initiate any contact beyond, "Looking forward to meeting you tomorrow night" or something similar.

 

If you haven't heard from him since last week, I think it's safe to say there won't be a second date. A guy who is interested will follow up and ask for a second date within the 24/28 hours after the first date.

  • Like 4
Posted
Before we met up, he kept texting me daily, sending me pictures of him on halloween, and what he was doing in his daily life. And I absolutely hate it when guys waste their time texting everyday before meeting up in person, because once they meet up-they are not interested and therefore I won't hear back for them ever again. So..why waste time texting beforehand?

 

 

I hate it too when guys waste your time texting you daily before they make a date to meet you in person. It's true: once they meet you in person they're not really interested in continuing to get to know you, because in reality there's standards and expectations that we have for the people we want to date. He can't hide behind a screen anymore.

 

Tons of guys from these online sites like to waste time bull****ting back and forth.

 

I make it a point now to barely talk to anyone via text before we meet up. I've been burned a few times when there was a "connection" via text, and then we met up and I never heard from the guy again.

 

Now, I'll virtually one word answer or a few word answer the guy up until our date. I won't have any meaningful conversations, I won't initiate any contact beyond, "Looking forward to meeting you tomorrow night" or something similar.

 

If you haven't heard from him since last week, I think it's safe to say there won't be a second date. A guy who is interested will follow up and ask for a second date within the 24/28 hours after the first date.

 

That is excellent advice KatZee: about making it a point not to talk to guys via text before you meet them. I got burned bad recently too in the exact same situation, by a guy who texted me daily and then cancelled the date the day of, and never rescheduled.

 

I agree. If he hasn't called you to schedule another date by now, he's probably moved on to blow up another OKCupid woman's cellphone with his routine.

 

It's a blessing in disguise though. Men who prefer to hide behind their cellphone text screen, are probably afraid of establishing emotional intimacy with a woman because they're likely still licking their wounds from a bad breakup. So really, they hide behind texting you, creating the illusion that their interest in you is real when it's not.

 

So, in the future: at the first sign of a serial texter, stop him in his tracks with a phone call and shift him away from texting you, to having phone conversations. It's what I plan to do if I dip my toes back into online dating again. This last guy really did a number on me. :mad:

Posted

Probably, but it's one date, so no big deal, right?

 

I get annoyed at guys who want to text all the time before meeting, too.

Posted

Put it this way... What incentive is there to get to know one another in person, if you're learning about each other by means of text? I presume, the latter is safer and doesn't require any substantial investment.

 

Exceptions would be, if you lived very far away from one another and do not have the luxury of interfacing in person right away. Nonetheless, there should still be efforts made by both parties building up to a face-to-face meeting.

  • Like 1
Posted

I dont mean to sound rude here, but if the guy doesnt call ypu back after meeting you, I'd try to figure out if I could improve my appearance a little, or maybe be more feminine, or maybe read some dating advice for women...

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