LisaSmith_1970 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 So, I went on a date with a guy and we basically just talked how hard it is in the dating world, etc, etc. The things that he said: 1. Looks are everything, personality comes later. Looks will attract someone to strike up a conversation with you. You have to look your best. 2. If a guys says "he's not looking for a relationship" means, he doesn't want one with you, if he liked you, he wouldn't want to lose you and will snatch you up regardless of what is happening in his life. 3. Guys don't care what a girl does for a living or how much money she makes. They don't care if she doesn't have a college degree, if the girl is just a bartender and if she's hot enough, he will want her. With a few exceptions, she can't be trash, but having an education isn't a priority for guys. So, basically guys don't care if the girl has a low-paying job? Looks are the only thing that matters?
me85 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 (edited) Interesting. They are known to be simple creatures... Everyone is different but I do think the majority of guys are that easy to please. They are more visual beings so it makes sense. Looks are important for everyone. You have to be attracted to someone's looks somewhat in order to be with them. The degree thing though? Um maybe...they don't care in the beginning but they could feel differently later on. People change their wants and needs as they grow older. My ex was more attracted to another girl much younger than me, who was getting her PHD. So he ditched me for her. Told me, "she's making something of herself." Hurt me like nothing else. But I'm still living my life!!!! (= Can't help what people think of you or even care what people think of you. We have to go by what WE feel and what WE think. Edited November 10, 2014 by me85
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 So, I went on a date with a guy and we basically just talked how hard it is in the dating world, etc, etc. The things that he said: 1. Looks are everything, personality comes later. Looks will attract someone to strike up a conversation with you. You have to look your best. 2. If a guys says "he's not looking for a relationship" means, he doesn't want one with you, if he liked you, he wouldn't want to lose you and will snatch you up regardless of what is happening in his life. 3. Guys don't care what a girl does for a living or how much money she makes. They don't care if she doesn't have a college degree, if the girl is just a bartender and if she's hot enough, he will want her. With a few exceptions, she can't be trash, but having an education isn't a priority for guys. So, basically guys don't care if the girl has a low-paying job? Looks are the only thing that matters? 1. Incorrect. For me personality and intelligence is first. 90% of women are attractive. It's what's beyond that that makes the difference. 2. True. 3. True. But for me it's about personality and intelligence. If you're an amazing critical thinker and a great person I don't care if you have a college degree or if you make a lot of money. Those things are fine obviously, but I care more about the other stuff. Again though, I'm no the kind of guy to ask about these kinds of things. There's a reason I don't go on a lot of dates, and it's because my views on dating and women are entirely childish, ridiculous and unattractive...
Tayken Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 So, basically guys don't care if the girl has a low-paying job? Looks are the only thing that matters? Don't know your age category, but you can expect two groups of men to answer this i.e. two types of responses. Never been married types....They are all about the looks and are oblivious to the inevitable i.e. 1 in every 2 marriages fail and what happens to you. The have been married and know....It's not all about the looks. 3
OwMyEyeball Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 So, I went on a date with a guy and we basically just talked how hard it is in the dating world, etc, etc. The things that he said: 1. Looks are everything, personality comes later. Looks will attract someone to strike up a conversation with you. You have to look your best. If looks are "everything" then personality doesn't matter. What he probably meant was that a person's physical appearance makes a more striking impression since it's immediately registered & assessed, compared someone's personality, which requires some observation and interaction. The women I've been infatuated by, and on of the ones I fell in love with, I did not find to be sexually attractive at first encounter. However, after getting to know each other in more intimate and comfortable surroundings, I fell head over heels for them. They weren't unattractive in the conventional sense, only that I didn't get that "WOW" sensation right off the bat. 2. If a guys says "he's not looking for a relationship" means, he doesn't want one with you, if he liked you, he wouldn't want to lose you and will snatch you up regardless of what is happening in his life. That's been my experience. 3. Guys don't care what a girl does for a living or how much money she makes. They don't care if she doesn't have a college degree, if the girl is just a bartender and if she's hot enough, he will want her. With a few exceptions, she can't be trash, but having an education isn't a priority for guys. I don't confuse intelligence with education. One woman I went gaga for had a PhD. Another was a waitress with a BSc. There was this other one who had only her high school diploma. Their level of education is entirely irrelevant to any of the processes going on in my head (and probably most other people's) when becoming physically and emotionally attached. Certain aspects of the personality / character / spirit would very well have contributed to the passions and rationale to pursue higher education, but the actual knowledge they gained is little more to me than some food for thought. There is a great deal of wisdom and maturity one gains through life that does not come from college courses. So, basically guys don't care if the girl has a low-paying job? Looks are the only thing that matters? Direction matters more than income. Looks matter, but to less of a degree than many people are led to believe. For ME. Other guys will have different opinions about their own personal preferences and the reasons for those; each just as valid as the next's. ...............
preraph Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 I think all those things are true of guys who are not ready for commitment, not looking for a real relationship but just looking for sex. A guy wanting a life partner will at least sometimes have some other qualifications besides "hot," though not nearly as often as they should. 1
todreaminblue Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 I want a guy who looks a bit deeper than the outside shell....because that can change if i want it too...so i guess.....thats it for me and men then..nah......ill find that guy....gonna rock his world.....;0).....so i have to believe with all my innards......that there are men who look deeper than surface views.........deb
oberkeat Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 So, I went on a date with a guy and we basically just talked how hard it is in the dating world, etc, etc. The things that he said: 1. Looks are everything, personality comes later. Looks will attract someone to strike up a conversation with you. You have to look your best. 2. If a guys says "he's not looking for a relationship" means, he doesn't want one with you, if he liked you, he wouldn't want to lose you and will snatch you up regardless of what is happening in his life. 3. Guys don't care what a girl does for a living or how much money she makes. They don't care if she doesn't have a college degree, if the girl is just a bartender and if she's hot enough, he will want her. With a few exceptions, she can't be trash, but having an education isn't a priority for guys. So, basically guys don't care if the girl has a low-paying job? Looks are the only thing that matters? 1. Not exactly. Looks are a big part of attraction, but compatibility in terms of values and interests is major also. 2. Depends on the guy. I have guy friend who's taking a break from dating/relationships until he has some money and can afford to move out of his parents' house. 3. Depends on the guy. I personally wouldn't date a girl who isn't at least working toward a college degree.
Weezy1973 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 So, I went on a date with a guy and we basically just talked how hard it is in the dating world, etc, etc. The things that he said: 1. Looks are everything, personality comes later. Looks will attract someone to strike up a conversation with you. You have to look your best. 2. If a guys says "he's not looking for a relationship" means, he doesn't want one with you, if he liked you, he wouldn't want to lose you and will snatch you up regardless of what is happening in his life. 3. Guys don't care what a girl does for a living or how much money she makes. They don't care if she doesn't have a college degree, if the girl is just a bartender and if she's hot enough, he will want her. With a few exceptions, she can't be trash, but having an education isn't a priority for guys. So, basically guys don't care if the girl has a low-paying job? Looks are the only thing that matters? If he's talking purely about what attracts a guy, he's probably got a point for a lot of men. If, however, he's talking about what men are looking for in terms of a long term partner, I suspect most guys look (either consciously or subconsciously) a lot deeper. As a very good general rule (keeping in mind there are always exceptions), like attracts like. Educated men will get along better with educated women. Men who put a lot of effort into their physical appearance will get along better with women who put a lot of effort into their physical appearance. Men that are ambitious will get along better with women that are ambitious. And vice versa. Like attracts like. 2
Tayken Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 I am not afraid to say I have banged some women based on their physique rather than facial looks. The question is often asked, would yo take face over body? A tough one to answer, but I know I can never be attracted to a FLAT a$$. I need to see something protruding there when she wears a skirt / trousers. I also hate Jeans on women...anyone notice how some women have now turned it into their everyday wear? It's so unflattering Men that are ambitious will get along better with women that are ambitious. And vice versa. Like attracts like. You can say that again....I have no time for slackers, a huge turn off.
d0nnivain Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 I'm a woman but I think there is some truth to what the guy said. As for looks, when you want to date, it is a good idea to look your best. You don't have to be dolled up with full make up all the time but it's not the time for your baggiest sweats either. Remember -- looks are subjective. Different people will find different things attractive. # 2 is very important. I read on here once, believe it when a member of the opposite sex says stuff you don't want to hear but be cautious when they say stuff you do want to hear. #3 jobs . . . it depends. Most men don't want a gold digger but high earning / powerful women do turn certain men off. So career can play a role.
somedude81 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 So, I went on a date with a guy and we basically just talked how hard it is in the dating world, etc, etc. The things that he said: 1. Looks are everything, personality comes later. Looks will attract someone to strike up a conversation with you. You have to look your best. Yes. If I'm not attracted to a woman at all, she doesn't get a chance. Granted a woman would have to have something pretty wrong with her for me not to be attracted to her at all. The bar isn't high. 2. If a guys says "he's not looking for a relationship" means, he doesn't want one with you, if he liked you, he wouldn't want to lose you and will snatch you up regardless of what is happening in his life. It really does depend on the guy. If a guy just got divorced and says he isn't looking for a relationship, it means just that. Bonus answer, guys who aren't looking for a relationship will most likely be interested in a strictly sex thing. Be aware. 3. Guys don't care what a girl does for a living or how much money she makes. They don't care if she doesn't have a college degree, if the girl is just a bartender and if she's hot enough, he will want her. With a few exceptions, she can't be trash, but having an education isn't a priority for guys. Pretty much. Though for me, I want a girl to be doing a job that she enjoys and finds fulfilling. I want her to be happy and proud of what she does. How much money she makes is irrelevant. That may change once things get serious and money starts to become important in regards to a thing like a house and kids.
Yookie Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 The honest answers from guys are much appreciated!!! This thread is golden!
Andy_K Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 More or less all true. Notice he didn't say looks are the ONLY thing that matters, simply that they'll come first. You can't spot a beautiful personality from across a crowded room. Essentially, what matters to a guy is: 1) are you hot 2) are you nice 3) do we get on well And the third one you have to actually date to find out, so 'hot and nice' will get most guys attention.
BikerAccnt Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 We men are actually pretty easy to please. You women tend to overthink EVERYTHING Seriously though, initial attraction is important. I don't think most people will initially go out with someone that they don't find in some way attractive. The money thing, that is going to change as you age. I find I've come full circle now that I'm in my fifties. In my early 20's, I didn't care what you made. I wasn't looking for marriage. I was having fun. I never just dated around for sex (though I wouldn't continue to date you sans sex either) but, money didn't matter that much because I wasn't looking for someone to share my life with. Later, and in my thirties while married, money definitely mattered. My ex-wife and I never had a lot, but when she was working, we did ok. Problem is, she didn't like to work, and would constantly be changing/quitting jobs, thus straining the finances. It contributed greatly to the demise of our marriage. You don't need to make a lot, but you do need to contribute. My next relationship in my 40's, money still mattered in who I was dating/seeing, as I was still looking to share my life. My Ex live in GF made tons of money, damn good money, and together we could do what we wanted when we wanted. It's a shame that everything else was a problem. Today, I don't' care about what someone makes again. After two failed "marriages" I'm in no hurry to marry, or live with someone again. I can share my life living separately, so, what someone makes bears little on if I will continue to see them. I just need to be treated well, and shown appreciation, and your in. My current GF fits the bill. She's always strapped for cash, but that's ok. I pay for everything, but knowing her situation I'm fine with that. She doesn't want to marry again, and neither do I, so it works.
dispatch3d Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 overall maturity is a big deal for me. I hate hanging out with people that get mad at me for **** like saying "I don't like you" (when I'm joking), or calling them a hippy (this happened?), or not liking tatoos (well yeah... duh), etc etc.
ltjg45 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 So, I went on a date with a guy and we basically just talked how hard it is in the dating world, etc, etc. The things that he said: 1. Looks are everything, personality comes later. Looks will attract someone to strike up a conversation with you. You have to look your best. 2. If a guys says "he's not looking for a relationship" means, he doesn't want one with you, if he liked you, he wouldn't want to lose you and will snatch you up regardless of what is happening in his life. 3. Guys don't care what a girl does for a living or how much money she makes. They don't care if she doesn't have a college degree, if the girl is just a bartender and if she's hot enough, he will want her. With a few exceptions, she can't be trash, but having an education isn't a priority for guys. So, basically guys don't care if the girl has a low-paying job? Looks are the only thing that matters? 1. I do value looks more than almost any woman, sure, but there has to be some kind of workable personality there. I can easily ignore a hot woman that got no soul just as quickly as I can ignore an unattractive woman. 2. That is pretty much true even though I will never say it in that manner. If I was asked out by a woman I have no interest in, I will simply decline her request calmly. No need to be playing mind games at all. 3. That is true too for my case. For me, I just want her to be working and is able to keep herself out of debt. Outside of that, anything more than that is a bonus. With that said, that doesn't mean I don't have any value for college-educated women. It just isn't a high requirement like having a personality or being attractive to me. I am more concerned with what kind of parent she would be for her kids if she does have any with me than her career choices.
carhill Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Presuming initial meeting/dating: 1. Looks get the interview. People rarely consider others for romance who are not aesthetically pleasing to them. 2. Generally, yes. People rarely easily dismiss or let go of people and/or things they like or find valuable. 3. For meeting/dating purposes, generally, yes. For marriage/family purposes, varies. Myself, I dated women varying from secretaries to doctors and everything in between and pursued women I found to be attractive and married one who melded the best combination of what I wanted in a life partner at the time. So, basically guys don't care if the girl has a low-paying job? Looks are the only thing that matters? Young guys, pretty much. Guys my age; varies. Good looks appear to still turn their heads more than a big paycheck or fancy degree but that's more spectating than anything serious since, well, they're married
Tayken Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Looks will fade, and then what when she is not contributing the household and depends on you? No thanks
PogoStick Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 Looks will fade, and then what when she is not contributing the household and depends on you? No thanks But enjoy the ride for 20 years. Then move to the sweet girl. j/k
PogoStick Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 Sure looks matter, but it can't make up for a bad personality or being a horrible person. No matter how attractive a girl is, I'm not interested in princesses, high maintenance, *itches, righteous conservatives, etc. Also, I'm working towards a doctorate degree. The girl at the gas station may be cute but I doubt we'll connect on a deeper level. Further, i want to enjoy the rewards of my hard work and not have to support a girl without motivation. I definitely prefer an equal, someone with whom I can have deep conversation.
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