icecold11 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 (edited) I cannot read men for the life of me. Unless they are aggressive and straight forward, I never know if they are actually interested or if they're just doing their usual flirting simply because they're bored. I am a female in my 20's and I work with a man in his late 40's. He is actually extremely attractive and looks a decade younger than he is. When he walks past me sometimes he lowers his voice really deeply and will say things like "hey hot stuff" in a bedroom voice. He calls me "baby" or "babe" a lot. He'll wink at me and just sometimes be friendly. Other times he completely ignores me. Doesn't even glance my way. I always heard if a guy likes you, they'll always find ways to look at you or be around you. This guy isn't like that. He will be flirty with me sometimes, other times he'll barely come out of his office or he won't even look at me. Also, because he is older I don't know if he is flirting or just being nice. A lot of older guys call me "honey" or "babydoll" or something but in a totally non flirty type of way. They're just more polite to women in general I have noticed. This leads me to believe he is just flirting as a "hobby". I feel like if he were trying to pursue me, he'd be consistent with it. I always smile and am polite back but I am shy and don't know how to flirt and I don't want to be flirty if I find out he really isn't interested but is just bored. So guys, in your opinion, is he just flirting to be flirting? Because I am done trying to read males who change their personality every other day. Edited November 10, 2014 by icecold11
Zahara Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 When he walks past me sometimes he lowers his voice really deeply and will say things like "hey hot stuff" in a bedroom voice. He calls me "baby" or "babe" a lot. He'll wink at me and just sometimes be friendly. He sounds slimey. 2
Author icecold11 Posted November 10, 2014 Author Posted November 10, 2014 He sounds slimey. lol You think so?
Zahara Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 (edited) lol You think so? Ugh, just yuck. If he's so bold talking that way to a woman at work that he doesn't know, I am sure you're not the only woman whether at work or outside of work that he slimes on. Why is that kind of attention interesting to you? Don't you want a man to approach you and speak to you with respect rather than objectifying you that way, and even worse when he doesn't even know you. You like it because he's cute? Edited November 11, 2014 by Zahara
preraph Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 It does kind of sounds like he's a serial flirter, but who knows how he might react to genuine interest. Most 40 year olds are foaming at the mouth to go out with someone half their age.
d0nnivain Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 By age 40 if he has mastered the art of the bedroom voice & can say those things to a women in a work setting without getting fired, he's confident enough to ask for a date if he wanted one. Since you are only getting some occasional flirting, my guess is it's recreational at best & means nothing. 4
Author icecold11 Posted November 11, 2014 Author Posted November 11, 2014 Ugh, just yuck. If he's so bold talking that way to a woman at work that he doesn't know, I am sure you're not the only woman whether at work or outside of work that he slimes on. Well, it's not like he is a complete stranger though. We have talked before. Nothing deep or anything. But we share the same interest in music and movies. We talked for a while about The Beatles who we both love, and the fact that we both have gone to Rolling Stone concerts and how awesome they were live etc. Nothing too profound or anything like that but it's not like he just started saying these things without ever talking to me before. lol Why is that kind of attention interesting to you? Don't you want a man to approach you and speak to you with respect rather than objectifying you that way, and even worse when he doesn't even know you. You like it because he's cute? If I am being completely honest, I always found him good looking but wasn't attracted to him until he started talking to me like that. I don't see anything wrong with it at all. He gives off a very confident, masculine sexual energy that is attractive to me. Maybe I am only interested in him on a sexual level afterall which is pretty superficial. But as the other poster said, I guess he's just flirting to be flirting. I'm too shy to make the first move so I guess it'll never go anywhere.
Author icecold11 Posted November 11, 2014 Author Posted November 11, 2014 It does kind of sounds like he's a serial flirter, but who knows how he might react to genuine interest. Most 40 year olds are foaming at the mouth to go out with someone half their age. 49 actually
Author icecold11 Posted November 11, 2014 Author Posted November 11, 2014 By age 40 if he has mastered the art of the bedroom voice & can say those things to a women in a work setting without getting fired, he's confident enough to ask for a date if he wanted one. Since you are only getting some occasional flirting, my guess is it's recreational at best & means nothing. I guess you're right about it just being mindless flirting then. If he were really interested he wouldn't flirt half the time, ignore me half the time. But as for the getting fired thing, he only talks like that to me when no one else is around. He waits until I am alone to talk like that
d0nnivain Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 But as for the getting fired thing, he only talks like that to me when no one else is around. He waits until I am alone to talk like that The lack of witnesses is NOT the issue. It's that he is saying these things at all. You could go to HR or flat out tell him to stop. Unwelcome advances at work are one factor in sexual harassment.
Author icecold11 Posted November 11, 2014 Author Posted November 11, 2014 The lack of witnesses is NOT the issue. It's that he is saying these things at all. You could go to HR or flat out tell him to stop. Unwelcome advances at work are one factor in sexual harassment. Yes I know that. But given the fact I smile and blush when he says these things, I think it's obvious that he knows I like it when he flirts with me. If he sensed I didn't like it he would without a doubt back off. But I think my giggling and acting like an idiot when he flirts is a dead give away that I don't mind.
d0nnivain Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 That is why I said UNWELCOME conduct can be a basis for sexual harassment. You are into it which is fine. My point remains -- he's got skills. Therefore if he wanted to do more than flirt, he would. The fact that he hasn't means he probably won't.
Author icecold11 Posted November 11, 2014 Author Posted November 11, 2014 On a side note, I specifically asked for a guys input on this and got nothing but female responses. I am kind of looking for a male's opinion here. So please from not on only respond if you're male.
Author icecold11 Posted November 11, 2014 Author Posted November 11, 2014 That is why I said UNWELCOME conduct can be a basis for sexual harassment. You are into it which is fine. My point remains -- he's got skills. Therefore if he wanted to do more than flirt, he would. The fact that he hasn't means he probably won't. Gotchya. ..................................
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