jncapital1 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I have been dating a woman for 5 months. We first met over 28 years ago when we were teenagers, went to prom together before going our separate ways before reconnecting on facebook and getting together. Briefly our backgrounds. I am 47 and while having had a few decent relationships have never been married and haven't had any relationship last over seven months in over 15 years. I have always wanted to meet the one but just never seem to have found her. She is 45, twice divorced with three kids and has had several other relationships lasting more than a year. We live three hours away from each other. We started dating over the summer and it was magical. We spent every other weekend together and because of summer vacation, were able to string together a number of longer weekends. We got a long great, really connected and the sex was amazing. With the school year upon us, we have been unable to spend as much time together as the summer but still about every other weekend. The school year has left her with less free time for herself, more stress and demands on her time and more interaction with her ex-husbands. We have sometimes found it hard to stay connected but usually end up having a deep emotional talk that brings us closer together. when we are together we are still connected and amazing together. Our sex life is still fantastic and she tells me that when I am there she sleeps better, feels calmer and is generally just happier. One of the issues is that we only see each other every other weekend and by about ten days we are losing steam on the connection. This past Sunday we were together and had a long talk about what was going on with us. She has been very emotional lately. She told me that she thought it was a good sign because the walls she had built up in her bad relationships were coming down and she was feeling vulnerable. This past week, as usual we would text during the day and she told me she loved me and missed me every day. Then last Sunday we get on Skype and she tells me she is overwhelmed and that her mind is racing. She said she doesn't want to hurt me, that she is feeling stressed and pressured so I suggested that she take some time to herself. We didn't communicate on Friday, and then on both saturday and sunday I sent a text saying I love you, to which she replied I love you, too. Late Sunday night I sent her a long email which basically told her that I understood the pressures she was feeling and that I wanted her to feel comfortable about our relationship. It was a very reassuring email and not clingy or desperate. She responded that night, telling me it was an amazing, sweet email that made her smile and cry. She said I was wonderful and amazing. She also said she didn't have time to fully respond. I did ask her if she just need time to calm her mind or if she was thinking about our relationship. No response yet although it has only been 12 hours and she is busy today. So any thoughts? She continues to tell me she loves me and I believe her. I know she gets scared and emotional from time to time but she always relaxes when we speak or get together. Still, I am nervous because I don't know why we are talking time (my fault since I suggested it!). It seems like space makes sense. I trust her completely. There is no other guy. I know she loves me but maybe she does see something that will hurt us long term. So, is giving her space that right thing to do here?
smackie9 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 They wanting space is a coward's way of breaking up, and not all relationships last forever, even perfect, trouble free ones. Whatever is troubling her you will find out soon enough....when she is ready.
preraph Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Look, mothers are busier than anyone else. Living so far apart would be hard even if she had no kids. I know because I've tried it. You can't pressure someone whose first priority is ALWAYS going to be and should be her kids. She had nonstop coordinating and errands to do. She probably doesn't have time to get it all done and relax too. I'm sure you've heard how mothers are sometimes so stressed and so much in racing mother mode that they aren't even thinking about sex. That is a very real thing. She's not in relaxation mode. She can't be. You must give her all the space she needs and wait until she has time for you.
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