Tayken Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Wow....this person needs to stop dating pronto and find some other hobby to keep them busy, or else someone is going to get hurt. 7 months and you think you are ready to jump into relationships?
Author irresolute Posted November 19, 2014 Author Posted November 19, 2014 I thought so but Im completely broken today. Cannot take J from my mind, Ive cried all day and now Im in a class and cannot concentrate. Huge setback. Id never imagined that something like this would happen. I hope I havent trown to the garbage this 1 month strict no contact because I feel like day 1 now and without even stalking J.
DrReplyInRhymes Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 I thought so but Im completely broken today. Cannot take J from my mind, Ive cried all day and now Im in a class and cannot concentrate. Huge setback. Id never imagined that something like this would happen. I hope I havent trown to the garbage this 1 month strict no contact because I feel like day 1 now and without even stalking J. I would give you a distraction, but alas, you are too far away. Besides, I wouldn't want to date someone so hung up on "J.". I would tell you that your heart isn't fully healed, and to give me a call when you finally mow that field. Oh, and by the way, I took a look at your little saying, something was wrong, but I could not figure out what was swaying, Looked at your sig again, then finally saw what was going on, It didn't make any sense because you have the dates all wrong! Last time I met John: May 2014. Online sporadic chit chat until 10/16/2004 that I blocked him from Facebook and from my life. 1
Author irresolute Posted November 19, 2014 Author Posted November 19, 2014 You made me smile. Thank you! Yeah. Not 2004. 1
Coe Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 You make dating sound like a horrible thing to have to do. 20 minutes would make me think it's a bad date but then again I wouldn't go for coffee and I wouldn't have plans for later in the day.
InsaneTrombone Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 (edited) It sounds like you really cared for this Johnny guy. I didn't get into the jist of all that history, but it sounds like you really aren't over this yet. Some people are fine with 1 month no contact and are good to go to the next. Some others it takes time. I thought I was ready a few months after my 4 yr relationship ended. I wasn't. It took a long time for me to feel okay with things. I stopped dating after a horrific experience with one girl over the course of 6 or so dates (a few months after my relationship ended). I just stayed single, kept my options open, and stopped looking for a while. A year after that incident with '6 date girl' I'm currently speaking with 3 different women at the same time and couldn't feel any better. What I'm just trying to say, and what everyone else has already said is, you need to chill out. You aren't ready to date, you aren't ready for anything. You're a mess. Chill out, lay low for a while. Focus on you. Because not only are you continuing to hurt yourself, you're going to hurt other people as well. Edited November 19, 2014 by InsaneTrombone
martaldn Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 how old are you? dont you have friends to hang out with? hobbies? things you like to do on your spare time? you live in California right? must be amazing living there why dont you do some outdoor activity that could keep you busy and stop obsessing over this dating thing. its clear you are not ready and there is nothing wrong with it, but you need to move on from the past and you need to stop thinking about this John Jonny J whatever his name is. how? i dont know. we can only guess here and try to give you good advice but you need to put effort in this too. do some volunteering, cooking class, gym, yoga meditation anything that could help drive your mind away from him. dating should be fun! and should be an add-on to your life not this sort of super stressful duty you are picturing here and even less your only way to be happy again. find your balance and be happy with yourself first of all, otherwise you will never be able to make someone else happy. good luck
Anderlie Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 ^ all of that. You're running yourself ragged doing something you think you should be doing and for what? You don't want any of these guys, you aren't even confident enough in yourself to understand and spell out what you want from them. If you're going to date you should, you know, actually enjoy it. Instead you create all these insurmountable obstacles just so you have an excuse to not do it any more. Why?
Author irresolute Posted December 4, 2014 Author Posted December 4, 2014 Oh my...What have I done now. Just cancelled our third date with new guy. I sent him an email, not even a text. And provided no excuses, just said I cannot make it tomorrow. I don't know. It didn't feel right to meet him. I mean, he's cute but I'm not that attracted. He is nice and successful and we shared common values yet...i dont know. I just had to cancel and he replied "no worries" and that was all. I'm still thinking about J and cannot possible engage in another relationship right now. Feeling sad 1
organizedchaos Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 Oh my...What have I done now. Just cancelled our third date with new guy. I sent him an email, not even a text. And provided no excuses, just said I cannot make it tomorrow. I don't know. It didn't feel right to meet him. I mean, he's cute but I'm not that attracted. He is nice and successful and we shared common values yet...i dont know. I just had to cancel and he replied "no worries" and that was all. I'm still thinking about J and cannot possible engage in another relationship right now. Feeling sad I'm sorry, but you are what they call in medical terms a, "hot mess" dont date anyone for a very, very long time.
Rejected Rosebud Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 I think you need to do some therapy before you date anybody, your obsession with that guy should be dealt with.
Diezel Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 Oh my...What have I done now. Just cancelled our third date with new guy. I sent him an email, not even a text. And provided no excuses, just said I cannot make it tomorrow. I don't know. It didn't feel right to meet him. I mean, he's cute but I'm not that attracted. He is nice and successful and we shared common values yet...i dont know. I just had to cancel and he replied "no worries" and that was all. He was expecting it. Good for him. Stop dating. Take time for yourself. 2
Author irresolute Posted December 4, 2014 Author Posted December 4, 2014 Hot mess I am. Seven months since last time we met and why on earth I still miss him? What i did understand very clearly is that he never cared or lived me despite what he told me. Regarding the new guy, well, that was never going to work. I'm still very much in pain because the breakup.
Diezel Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 So. Stop. Dating. It's never going to work with anyone you meet, because you are holding them to unfair standards of a d-bag. 1
spiderowl Posted December 4, 2014 Posted December 4, 2014 20 minutes is not a long date. He may well have thought you were cutting it short (because you didn't like him). Trusting what you say afterwards could be a bit difficult. I'd say you were giving conflicting messages by departing so quickly.
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