irresolute Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Hi everyone, I just had a date, and I'm a little confused. We met and I could tell he was excited to saw me, that he liked me. We went to have coffee, he paid for mine. then we talked a little, random things, career, school, work, etc. Twenty minutes on the date I said to go, he said ok. For me, 20 minutes was enough for a first date. He walked me to my car, we talked some more, random, and then the goodbye... so, he hugged me (NO KISS) and he said:"Ok, I guess I'll email you..." to which I replied: "Yes, I'd love you to". and that was ALL guys. I grabbed my car and left and he went grab his car as well. Now, all the first dates I've been, the guys normally texted me or emailed me instantly after the goodbye, just to tell me what an awesome time they had, or to asked me if I'd liked to see them again. All the dates I've been there were kisses at the end. Not in this one. No kiss. Still no email. What do you think? should I go online on the dating site, or he might think I'm not interested? I met him through that dating site, so he'll see if I'm online or not...What to do???
mammasita Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I don't think going on the site will give the impression that you're not interested....I mean, hell, you just met him. Why not go on the site and send him a message if you are truly into him?
Author irresolute Posted November 10, 2014 Author Posted November 10, 2014 you think so? I mean, he has my email, I can just message him, but I don't wanna look desperate by no means... I was thinking maybe he thought I was not that interested as I cut the date short??
oberkeat Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 you think so? I mean, he has my email, I can just message him, but I don't wanna look desperate by no means... I was thinking maybe he thought I was not that interested as I cut the date short?? I think he probably assumed from the quick cut off that you wanted to get outta there as quickly as possible. Most dates I've had that went well lasted 2-3 hours (and included a kiss, I might add). As far as looking desperate, my advice is this: don't play games. If you want to see him again, let him know. Do you have his phone number? Send him a quick text and ask when he wants to get together again. 10
mammasita Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I think he probably assumed from the quick cut off that you wanted to get outta there as quickly as possible. Most dates I've had that went well lasted 2-3 hours. As far as looking desperate, my advice is this: don't play games. If you want to see him again, let him know. Do you have his phone number? Send him a quick text and ask when he wants to get together again. I agree with this. @OP - especially since he picked up the tab for the coffee. Sure, it was just coffee.....but if it were me, I would have been the one to reach out first regardless of the little exchange you had (text or email) and say "Thank you for the coffee, looking forward to seeing you again". IMO, that's not desperate, that's just saying thank you and letting him know you really are interested and putting the ball in his court.
Author irresolute Posted November 10, 2014 Author Posted November 10, 2014 awww...guys!!! This never happened to me before. even the crappiest dates sent me a tex after. I cut it short because we were having coffee, he said he had to do stuff at in 1 hour 1/2, and because I didn't want to spend 1 hour talking over a cup a coffee, but I sure wanted to meet him again. I don't wanna look desperate, I've suffer a lot with another guy I chased and he was never into me, I just can't send him a message...ugh I can't...
Author irresolute Posted November 10, 2014 Author Posted November 10, 2014 omg omg omg!!!!! he just sent me an email, he wants a second date!!!!!!! omg!!!!! 6
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I'd actually feel kind of weird if a guy kissed me after a 20-minute coffee date. Not creeped out or anything, but…it would feel forced and a little bit inappropriate, unless there were some serious sparks flying. If we're talking a 3 hour dinner date with a bit of wine and a lot more getting-to-know each other time, then I could understand…but 20 minutes over coffee? That's essentially still strangers. If I were you, I'd reach out to him…he probably thinks you cut the date short and was just trying to be a gentleman rather than pushing his luck with a kiss. You don't have to "chase" him…just send him a quick text saying "sorry again I had to cut that so short! I had a really nice time though!" 5
mammasita Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 omg omg omg!!!!! he just sent me an email, he wants a second date!!!!!!! omg!!!!! LOL! I'm sure he's just as nervous are you are. 1
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 omg omg omg!!!!! he just sent me an email, he wants a second date!!!!!!! omg!!!!! Ah…well there you go.
BluEyeL Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Don't cut him off so early next time Give him 2h. 2
Author irresolute Posted November 10, 2014 Author Posted November 10, 2014 I'd actually feel kind of weird if a guy kissed me after a 20-minute coffee date. Not creeped out or anything, but…it would feel forced and a little bit inappropriate, unless there were some serious sparks flying. If we're talking a 3 hour dinner date with a bit of wine and a lot more getting-to-know each other time, then I could understand…but 20 minutes over coffee? That's essentially still strangers. If I were you, I'd reach out to him…he probably thinks you cut the date short and was just trying to be a gentleman rather than pushing his luck with a kiss. You don't have to "chase" him…just send him a quick text saying "sorry again I had to cut that so short! I had a really nice time though!" I completely agree. now that I'm thinking, it would have been awqward to kiss in the middle of the street, me with the car keys on hand. Besides, I didn't invite him to my car because it's a mess, so I guess we did the best we could. He just messaged me, though, and wants to meet me again.
Jules Dash Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 omg omg omg!!!!! he just sent me an email, he wants a second date!!!!!!! omg!!!!! This is how my dates are react when I send them a text or email. At least, I hope they are. 3
Author irresolute Posted November 10, 2014 Author Posted November 10, 2014 This is how my dates are react when I send them a text or email. At least, I hope they are. I like him a lot.
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I completely agree. now that I'm thinking, it would have been awqward to kiss in the middle of the street, me with the car keys on hand. Besides, I didn't invite him to my car because it's a mess, so I guess we did the best we could. He just messaged me, though, and wants to meet me again. Awesome! Good luck!
Mrin Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Don't cut him off so early next time Give him 2h. Definitely this. If I got a 20 minute cutoff you would not have heard from me again. Please don't do this again unless you want to run the guy off. Now go out there and have a great second date! 5
Author irresolute Posted November 11, 2014 Author Posted November 11, 2014 I was nervous, what can I say. Guys, I'm trying to act suave now, but I have been hurting a lot over a guy lately (not this one, another) so Im trying yo take it slow. however, I dont really know how to answer to this guy....he asked me for a second date, and I proposed 3 different times for him to choose (he asked me when I was free). I added "I'd love to see you again soon" Ugh...did I sounded desperate? Clingy or needy? Maybe I shouldnt add that I wanted to see him? Im so nervous right now that I just cant seem to find a balance between playing it cool and sounding desperate...
endlessabyss Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Maybe he had some other dates lined up after yours... When you're squeezing a lot of dates in, people tend to rush, and not be prompt with replies.
CaliGypsy Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Your email was fine . If this guy likes you , he'll be happy to know you like him. (It sure sounds like he does ) Dating is definitely a challenge 1
d0nnivain Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 awww...guys!!! This never happened to me before. even the crappiest dates sent me a tex after. I cut it short because we were having coffee, he said he had to do stuff at in 1 hour 1/2, and because I didn't want to spend 1 hour talking over a cup a coffee, but I sure wanted to meet him again. I don't wanna look desperate, I've suffer a lot with another guy I chased and he was never into me, I just can't send him a message...ugh I can't... Because the date was sooooo short & you cut it off, I imagine he thinks you are not interested because that is what your behavior said. If you want another date, you need to reach out to him. He's not going to call you because he thinks you are rejecting him. Don't play at anything. You gave him 3 choices for the next date / time. What's the problem? 1
Author irresolute Posted November 11, 2014 Author Posted November 11, 2014 Yes, thank you. He reached out, though, and we are seeing each other this Monday for dinner. He just asked me what type of food I like. I'm super nervous and I wish the week was shorter!
Keenly Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 I'd definitely get the impression that you bailed. Especially if its as abrupt as it sounds like. Good thing he's persistent.
Keenly Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 OP you really should chill out. If that's you in your avatar, he's probably more nervous than you. 4
d0nnivain Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Yes, thank you. He reached out, though, and we are seeing each other this Monday for dinner. He just asked me what type of food I like. I'm super nervous and I wish the week was shorter! Breathe. Why are you "super nervous"? It's your second date. Even though the 1st was short & the end awkward, he called. That says a LOT. Most men would not have under those circumstances. When he asked you to dinner he considered your food preferences so that shows he's putting thought into this. Anticipation can be a good thing. Plan your outfit. Day dream. See this going well but calm down.
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