losinghope333 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Hmm where to even start. Got out of a 4 year relationship early this year; the split was fairly amicable but I definitely would have preferred it ended on different terms even though it wasn't an outright bad conclusion in itself. After a short respite, I figured it was time to test the waters again so I'd been picking up dates via online dating, activity groups, and good old fashioned walking up and talking. I know I'm more fortunate than most guys in that I don't have many issues in securing dates but all of them I've found hard to see going anywhere and I feel myself as a guy who doesn't enjoy 'dating' for its own sake and only does it as a means to achieve something long-term. Most of the dates ended after 1 or 2, about equal on both sides. What really bugs me is that most of these women are great, majority of them being grad students or young professionals, women who are bright, charming, most guys would love to be with but there just hasn't been anything for me. The longest one went on for a little under 3 months which I ended because I just didn't feel the chemistry. The break clearly hurt her and I felt terrible about it too, I know I shouldn't have let it go on as long as it did. I know, most of the responses are going to be something along the lines of 'just take a break' but for me, I know the older I get the less interested I'll be in relationships. For me, I just wouldn't be able to shake off the fact that we were simply both 'settling' because we couldn't find better. I know I'm still young, only mid-20s, and I'd definitely understand if people thought this was a terrible line of thinking but I can already feel it creeping up on me. I'm not even sure if I'm looking for advice or if I wrote this just for discussion but I needed some sort of soapbox and couldn't think of any other outlets. Thanks.
Gold Pile Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I think you'll be better served at a fetish site regarding this footing thing of yours. Keep dating, you'll have fun and the right one will come along sooner or later. Contrary to what you say....I think you'll be more (not less) interested in relationships as you feel the clock ticking. At least through your 20' and 30's, probably 40's also. Date for fun until the right one comes
Ruby Slippers Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I've realized that I only enjoy meeting new men and dating when I'm feeling good about my life all around. The times I've started a good new relationship are the times when I was at the top of my game in general. I think you're either still feeling cynical and negative after your break-up, or you're just not ready for some other reason. Nobody will really grab you until you're feeling strong and ready.
Author losinghope333 Posted November 10, 2014 Author Posted November 10, 2014 I think you'll be better served at a fetish site regarding this footing thing of yours. Keep dating, you'll have fun and the right one will come along sooner or later. Contrary to what you say....I think you'll be more (not less) interested in relationships as you feel the clock ticking. At least through your 20' and 30's, probably 40's also. Date for fun until the right one comes Sometimes a woman's feet are simply irresistible though... why not share the love on here too? And I hope you are correct about the 2nd part, it would make life much easier. I'm not exaggerating when I say I've basically felt this way about 'settling' since my mid-teen years. Whether that means I was once wise beyond my years or have not grown in maturity since is up to your interpretation.
Author losinghope333 Posted November 10, 2014 Author Posted November 10, 2014 I've realized that I only enjoy meeting new men and dating when I'm feeling good about my life all around. The times I've started a good new relationship are the times when I was at the top of my game in general. I think you're either still feeling cynical and negative after your break-up, or you're just not ready for some other reason. Nobody will really grab you until you're feeling strong and ready. I know where you're coming from but in an odd sense, I don't think my personal life has really never been better. I just bought a new place for a steal, my network of friends has been expanding, my hobbies have really picked up, been able to work out more often, and I have a cake job that I enjoy. The breakup for the 4 year relationship was just coming. It had been long distance for over a year and it was becoming apparent our paths weren't converging the way it ought to be. No cheating, no lies, fights, just a reflection from both of us that while heartbreaking, it was for the best for both parties. Haven't talked to her since.
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