laylay305 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I met this guy online and we ended up meeting up briefly at the bar on Friday and then I went to his place last night and watched football, and then we watched a movie. We chatted and got to know each other and during the movie we cuddled, which led to making out, which let to heavy petting, and I know he wanted to go further, but I told him I wasn't ready. He obliged and we just cuddled and would've fallen asleep. He told me he wanted me to stay the night but I had to get home to my dog. At that point it was already 3 am. We kissed goodbye, but he didn't mention hanging out again and I haven't talked to him since. It was kind of hard to read his response. Should I just wait for him to contact me? Or is it possible he got the impression that I wasn't into him? Any input it appreciated, thanks!
amaysngrace Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Wait for him to call you. Most people aren't acting themselves at three o'clock in the morning. Try not to read too much into his behavior. 2
Georgia2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I met this guy online and we ended up meeting up briefly at the bar on Friday and then I went to his place last night and watched football, and then we watched a movie. We chatted and got to know each other and during the movie we cuddled, which led to making out, which let to heavy petting, and I know he wanted to go further, but I told him I wasn't ready. He obliged and we just cuddled and would've fallen asleep. He told me he wanted me to stay the night but I had to get home to my dog. At that point it was already 3 am. We kissed goodbye, but he didn't mention hanging out again and I haven't talked to him since. It was kind of hard to read his response. Should I just wait for him to contact me? Or is it possible he got the impression that I wasn't into him? Any input it appreciated, thanks! Sounds like he wanted sex. Any decent guy would appreciate the girl waiting about having sex. Was all of this in the first date? I personally think you went to far with the heavy petting. It got him into sex mode.
Georgia2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Don't contact him again let HIM make the next move.
amaysngrace Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Maybe he only asked you out because of your name? 4
Ruby Slippers Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 If he's interested in you, he'll get in touch. If he were very interested, you would have heard from him the next day. Generally, men respect and see as relationship material women who get to know them, form an emotional attachment, and establish exclusivity before having sex. Generally, they see women who get physical fast as casual sex material. Of course there are exceptions to these general rules, but as a woman, having sex early and expecting more to come from it is a risky approach. If you want something real and lasting, take your time getting physical. If the guy really likes you, this will only make you more attractive to him. 2
Georgia2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Maybe he only asked you out because of your name? What does her name have to do with him asking her out?
smackie9 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 He just wanted sex, not a relationship....how come you young ladies just don't see it? If a man had any real interest in you he would ask you out on proper dates because he is serious about you. When he invites you to "hang out" at their place, it just means they expect sex. He doesn't value you because it cost him nothing and the bedroom is right there. Don't get your hopes up, he was clearly disappointed that he didn't get laid. 5
smackie9 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Maybe he only asked you out because of your name? Kinda like pussy galore? or Ivanna humpalot? 1
smackie9 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 so to answer your question, in this case no he didn't appreciate you with holding sex.
Keenly Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 so to answer your question, in this case no he didn't appreciate you with holding sex. Its been less than 24 hours. You can't form this kind of conclusion based non not hearing from him for that short of a period. 1
mammasita Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Well, since he put in absolutely ZERO work to get you to his house that's probably where this is going anyway......straight to the bedroom, at least in his mind anyway. 3
smackie9 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Its been less than 24 hours. You can't form this kind of conclusion based non not hearing from him for that short of a period. We shall see.....
smackie9 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I don't think it's fair to get that far and say no. In fact I think it's cruel. He probably went into the bathroom to wack one off.
ltjg45 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 The guy is looking for sex. I have a hard time thinking any guy that is trying to get physical hours after you meet for the first time is truly interested in knowing you as a person. First of all, let him contact you first (but I doubt that will happen). If he does, make sure you go on proper dates with him, in other words, not back to his house. See if he asks you questions about you. If he doesn't, he only see you as a **** buddy. But I doubt any of that will happen anyway since his intentions is pretty damn clear. Just keep looking. 1
irresolute Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I met this guy online and we ended up meeting up briefly at the bar on Friday and then I went to his place last night and watched football, and then we watched a movie. We chatted and got to know each other and during the movie we cuddled, which led to making out, which let to heavy petting, and I know he wanted to go further, but I told him I wasn't ready. He obliged and we just cuddled and would've fallen asleep. He told me he wanted me to stay the night but I had to get home to my dog. At that point it was already 3 am. We kissed goodbye, but he didn't mention hanging out again and I haven't talked to him since. It was kind of hard to read his response. Should I just wait for him to contact me? Or is it possible he got the impression that I wasn't into him? Any input it appreciated, thanks! girl, first date and you went to his home?? that's a no no. Heavy petting? Hell, no! you wanna look cheap, then go ahead, but if you wanna get respected, do not put yourself in a position where the guy can touch or make out with you on a fisrt date! You are his dessert, let him work for it. If he eats the dessert, he'd want to run afterwards. so, my answer is YES. MAKE HIM WAIT. As long as you can. He needs to get to know you before you give him what you got.
Andy_K Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Personally I prefer a girl who has sex as early as possible, and I'll tell you why: Ultimately, I want a girlfriend who both in love and lust. One or the other isn't good enough, and I certainly don't want to be the guy she 'settled' for because I was nice and met her at the right time. I want to be both the boyfriend material and the 'hot' guy she would have fun with. The absolute best way to know for sure that I tick the lust/hot box, is if she sleeps with me early on, if she moves faster than she intended to or normally does. It's not the only way to tick that box for sure, but it simplifies things. What's more, it gets you right past that 'fake' stage before sex where you're both trying to put the right impression forward, and skips straight to where you REALLY start getting to know each other.
mammasita Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Personally I prefer a girl who has sex as early as possible, and I'll tell you why: Ultimately, I want a girlfriend who both in love and lust. One or the other isn't good enough, and I certainly don't want to be the guy she 'settled' for because I was nice and met her at the right time. I want to be both the boyfriend material and the 'hot' guy she would have fun with. The absolute best way to know for sure that I tick the lust/hot box, is if she sleeps with me early on, if she moves faster than she intended to or normally does. It's not the only way to tick that box for sure, but it simplifies things. What's more, it gets you right past that 'fake' stage before sex where you're both trying to put the right impression forward, and skips straight to where you REALLY start getting to know each other. You can be in lust and want to jump each others bones but hold off on sex. Your description, to me, sounds like the best way to know that's how she is with everyone. The "I'm not usually like this" or "I've never done this before" girl 2
Author laylay305 Posted November 10, 2014 Author Posted November 10, 2014 girl, first date and you went to his home?? that's a no no. Heavy petting? Hell, no! you wanna look cheap, then go ahead, but if you wanna get respected, do not put yourself in a position where the guy can touch or make out with you on a fisrt date! You are his dessert, let him work for it. If he eats the dessert, he'd want to run afterwards. so, my answer is YES. MAKE HIM WAIT. As long as you can. He needs to get to know you before you give him what you got. It wasn't the first date. We met up on Friday. The second time we hung out was last night.
mammasita Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 (edited) It wasn't the first date. We met up on Friday. The second time we hung out was last night. The point is, he hasn't put any effort into you. Has he taken you out? Nope. You met at a bar - I wouldn't really call that a "date", then the next night you went to his house. ZERO effort on his part and you let it happen. A date is going out to dinner, maybe a movie. Perhaps a walk. Letting him open doors.....Not sitting on his couch and groping each other for a few hours. Edited November 10, 2014 by mammasita 2
ThaWholigan Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 You can be in lust and want to jump each others bones but hold off on sex. Your description, to me, sounds like the best way to know that's how she is with everyone. The "I'm not usually like this" or "I've never done this before" girl Truth is, a lot of guys won't know that. I used to joke with my friends that the surest sign a girl is into you and wants you is if you're already poking her . It's excessive and crude, but there is a small element of truth - if you can't correctly interpret the sexual tension. Which quite a few guys can't, unless you explicit tell them! Having said that, I don't think waiting is bad. In fact, it might actually be better in some cases for ramping up the anticipation. No problem with waiting myself, but if I had to choose between waiting for a couple months and 1st/2nd date sex (if applicable), I'm probably gonna go with the latter and see where it takes me . I am one of Ruby's exceptions, of course! 2
most_distant_galaxy Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I agree 100% with Andy. Sexual compatibility is very important. If the sex comes naturally on the early dates, then let it happen. It's no crime. Maybe it happens later, which is also okay. No person should disrespect someone for having sex when they feel like it. This is a ridiculous way to judge people. Then we should disrespect a person who kisses or compliments in the first date, even the person who says "yes" to a first date invitation, because they are "too easy". Men usually assume that women have sex when they've found the one to settle with. No we don't know that this man is the "one". But he could be. Lust is a good start for a solid relationship. Great sex in my opinion is a stronger couple bond than (for instance) mutual interests. It's always harder to let go of a man who is a great sexual match. And I want to lust after my husband until we are about to die. Thank you. 4
most_distant_galaxy Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 And waiting until to get to know someone better... This I estimate would be after about 1 - 2 years. Waiting 1 or 2 months is the same as waiting for 1 or 2 weeks. Still, you hardly know the person. Great men respect women who play by their own rules. I have sex because I want to. And I'm a very romantic person, I appreciate romance even if it lasts for a short time, given that it's genuine. The odds that we will annoy each other after some time are very high, so let's at least have a good time while it lasts.
Maleficent Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Holy slut shaming in this thread... Anyhow, I don't like to force things just like I don't like to stop them from happening naturally either. Evil stare to whoever said it wasn't fair of OP to start making out and then stop. I would be willing to bet the reason she stopped is she thought 'Oh I don't want him to think I'm that kind of girl' and so she stopped. I like my partners to be sex positive. If I sleep with them on the first/second/too early and it has an effect on how he sees me, I would rather know right away. Though to be honest I tend to bring up sexual conversations during the first date so I can gauge how sex positive the guy is. My stance is if talking about sex makes you uncomfortable, you shouldn't be having it. 3
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I met this guy online and we ended up meeting up briefly at the bar on Friday and then I went to his place last night and watched football, and then we watched a movie. We chatted and got to know each other and during the movie we cuddled, which led to making out, which let to heavy petting, and I know he wanted to go further, but I told him I wasn't ready. He obliged and we just cuddled and would've fallen asleep. He told me he wanted me to stay the night but I had to get home to my dog. At that point it was already 3 am. We kissed goodbye, but he didn't mention hanging out again and I haven't talked to him since. It was kind of hard to read his response. Should I just wait for him to contact me? Or is it possible he got the impression that I wasn't into him? Any input it appreciated, thanks! If it had just ended there, with the cuddling. Would have been a perfect night to me. The rest of the stuff is fine too, I just wouldn't have pushed it that far because I'm a little self-conscious and insecure. It sounded like a lovely time regardless. Nothing about it would have turned me off. I'm not exactly the kind of guy to ask about this kind of thing though...
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