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so i guess im now one of those guys that despises women. this sucks

mr.blond

By mr.blond
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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mr.blond Established Member

mr.blond

Posted
Posted (edited)

so how am I ever going to be able to trust another gal? was never a jealous person but &@$$ feels like I'm ruined

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
JoeFallkon Established Member

JoeFallkon

Posted
Posted

Same here.. but have to learn to live with it and start fresh from 0 after that healing process.

 

Whats the story?

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idoltree Established Member

idoltree

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To not trust all womankind because of one individual is - sorry - really stupid.

 

First, can you not look around where you just posted and notice all the brokenhearted women posting? If women are so untrustworthy, how do you explain these women who were dedicated and still got hurt? How do you explain the women in happy and trusting relationships? Are the men just fools?

 

Secondly, how do you like me saying the following: "All men are a-holes." That means you are one. How does it feel? Unfair? Works the same way for women. We can't help your tastes. Making this generalization removes any blame from yourself, and you are the one who thought her a good choice for yourself. Take responsibility for that, and stop blaming others for the actions of of one person.

 

Third, we are often attracted to dysfunctional people if we ourselves have something that we need to work on. This individual person most certainly gave off red flags of personality traits that would lead her to act in a selfish way (hard to say more than that since you don't give details of what happened). Instead of being concerned and drawing back, it intrigued you and made you more attracted. Fix yourself, thereby fixing who you are attracted to, and you're that much closer to being attracted to women who are worthy of your trust (which is the majority of them.)

Brimstone Member

Brimstone

Posted
Posted

These are feelings that often occur when men get dumped(seemingly out of the blue).

 

I had it the same way. Couldn't even look at a woman for a period of about 4-6 months without feeling hurt and angry. After a while, it goes away and those feelings are only towards your ex(in my case).

 

You'll get through, brother!

NopeNah Established Member

NopeNah

Posted
Posted
These are feelings that often occur when men get dumped(seemingly out of the blue).

 

I had it the same way. Couldn't even look at a woman for a period of about 4-6 months without feeling hurt and angry. After a while, it goes away and those feelings are only towards your ex(in my case).

 

You'll get through, brother!

This.

 

You can also carry this knew knowledge into your future relationships to notice red flags.

idoltree Established Member

idoltree

Posted
Posted
These are feelings that often occur when men get dumped(seemingly out of the blue).

 

I had it the same way. Couldn't even look at a woman for a period of about 4-6 months without feeling hurt and angry. After a while, it goes away and those feelings are only towards your ex(in my case).

 

You'll get through, brother!

 

There's not being able to look at other woman because you are heartbroken, and then there is assuming that if one woman is of poor character, they all are.

 

There's a difference. I got my heart broken by a guy, and other guys couldn't hold my interest for some time, but I don't hold it against all men. To do so is just weird.

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toolforgrowth Established Member

toolforgrowth

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My ex wife had a LTA, so I was very wary of women after that. Still am, but only to the point that I take things nice and slow. I've been dating a gal for a couple months now and it's been pretty good. She seems great and is super sweet. I'm excited to see where things go.

 

With that being said, I will NEVER get married again. I mean NEVER. As a man who makes decent money who lives in a no fault state, I had to fight hard not to get screwed over in the divorce. Thankfully I've had a vasectomy, so I can't pump a baby into anyone. Lol No other kids other than my one daughter, and no more marriages. I feel pretty safe exploring relationships under those circumstances.

 

Not all women are alike. It's easy to lump them all into the evil category, but that's just not true. Take all the time you need to grieve, then start dating again...but on terms that you're comfortable with.

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todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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If you can trust yourself......you can trust others.....its about you not trusting you.......thats the problem....you feel you are going to make the wrong decision in regards to another relationship....its not about the woman/women at all.....you have to be able to trust yourself in a relationship to be in one....you have to know there are no guarantees at all...for anyone.....you have to be willing to put your heart and soul into it regardless of hurt you have felt before.....that is trusting and allowing yourself to feel......for another

 

i havent had the best of luck in relationships did have one for fifteen years though...it actually sucked for quite a few of those years...no relationship is ever perfect nro should it be....wouldnt be room for change and growth as a couple....... i put my heart and soul into all relationships...so when it was time to say good bye...i had nothing left i could have done.....and i would and will do it again.....its the only way to truly know someone....is to trust, heart and soul, and for you to learn from your past mistakes...and they are your mistakes we all make them, you can own them....it really helps.....deb

loversquarrel Established Member

loversquarrel

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That's a pretty large net to cast. I had a very difficult time trusting women and relationships after my divorce. I also had told myself no more marriages and no more kids. I was wrong though, I ended up meeting an unbelievably beautiful and confident woman who took the time and patience to teach me it was ok to trust again. I married her and have never been happier.

Elias33 Established Member

Elias33

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You have been done wrong by a woman, now why would you add to it by doing wrong to yourself on top of that? It's like a double punishment. First she denied you of having a loving and trusting relationship, and now you follow up by doing this yourself.

 

Being angry at someone only hurts yourself, it never ever reaches them. Anger or mistrust is the turmoil you create, only for yourself, and it will ruin a lot of great opportunities you may have when it comes to your love life.

 

Do not become that guy. I've had my share of heartbreaks, and betrayals, but I will not let "them" alter how I want to love someone. It's all about learning and getting back in the saddle. Good luck.

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