isisisweeping Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Man or woman holding out on sex to manipulate emotions rather than just for when it feels comfortable and enjoyable for both is something I find horrible and I would certainly lose interest if I kept being rejected. 2
Author hawx79 Posted November 11, 2014 Author Posted November 11, 2014 OP you're being a sneaky little sneak aren't you? Holding out on sex because you claim it will make a woman love you more and in the next post saying you're doing it so she will think you respect her. Don't those two ideas seem kind of incongruous? Don't pretend like you respect a woman if you're withholding something from her for your own benefit. Try this: be honest and do it early. If you have a low sex drive and want to wait for a relationship to be real then say so. That is a million times more respectful to your potential partner than playing silly manipulative games. Having a low sex drive can be a very big deal in a relationship if your partner has a high libido so at least then you can ensure there's a match before the emotional investment and potential fallout. Alright, thanks for the advice, I'll come out clean to her then. Maybe years and years ago this might have been true... but not today. If you don't at least attempt some form of date rape upon first meeting her... she is going to assume you are gay... or not into her. Seriously had a friend who caught a guy putting something into her drink. She felt that proved he was really into her. What a twisted sad world this has become.
TigerLilly78 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Maybe years and years ago this might have been true... but not today. If you don't at least attempt some form of date rape upon first meeting her... she is going to assume you are gay... or not into her. Seriously had a friend who caught a guy putting something into her drink. She felt that proved he was really into her. Yet if things went thu and she got assaulted and he pissed her off in some way she would have played the victim card I bet..
smackie9 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Um I thought it was when both parties wanted it?? Not all women "bond" thu sex for some sex is a part of a relashionship not the glue that holds it together the bonding is done even before we decide to have sex.. I said we feel "more" of an emotional bond through sex. of course there will be an emotional bond before sex duh, sex just increases it, not by telling her no to sex. Come on give me a break, the min he wants to date her he want to have sex with her, just like any man would. It basic knowledge that women are the one that decide when men will have sex or not. Men are the ones hoping to get lucky, men are the pursuers, women like being pursued, etc. How man men actually get raped by women??? vs men raping women? I have the same views kinda as the OP if im reading him right in wanting to wait until the relationship is stable and meaningful and im def not religious..maybe he is who knows but people can have this view and not be just saying... This isn't the reason why he wants to with hold sex. I find it interesting the OP just said he wanted to wait to have sex with his gf so she wouldn't think he was just using her for her body or sex alone and hes been jumped on and called everything under the sun.. No he thinks by with holding sex he can manipulate her feelings for him if he does....to fall in love with him more.
TigerLilly78 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 of course there will be an emotional bond before sex duh, Come on give me a break, the min he wants to date her he want to have sex with her, just like any man would. It basic knowledge that women are the one that decide when men will have sex or not. This isn't the reason why he wants to with hold sex. No he thinks by with holding sex he can manipulate her feelings for him if he does....to fall in love with him more. you sure about this "of course there will be an emotional bond before sex duh" cause to me ive seen a lot of people just hump anything that walks.. you haven't seen this? And far as the OPs motivations for "withholding sex" if were to go on what your saying hes doing then im sorry but isn't that pretty much the same thing as what you just said women do all the time to men why is it then bad for him to do it to a women? Tho I dont belive thats what hes trying to say I think like I said he wants to strengthen the relashionship and wait and not use her in his eyes or hers I think he just worded it not quite right in his opening post..
evanescentworld Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 Not really more into spiritualism. What is 'spiritualism' exactly....? And you do realise that sex drives need to be compatible? If you have a low sex drive, then you're not withholding to manipulate, you're withholding because you don't feel like it as much as she does - in which case, the relationship is doomed anyway.
Anderlie Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 Fingers crossed for you OP, I hope the talk goes well.
Author hawx79 Posted November 12, 2014 Author Posted November 12, 2014 No he thinks by with holding sex he can manipulate her feelings for him if he does....to fall in love with him more. Ok so im a bad person for wanting her to love me more? Its not like she was begging to have sex with me lol! She just found it strange that unlike other guys I didnt want to yet. Also Ive heard that sex could actually destroy loving relationships. What is 'spiritualism' exactly....? And you do realise that sex drives need to be compatible? If you have a low sex drive, then you're not withholding to manipulate, you're withholding because you don't feel like it as much as she does - in which case, the relationship is doomed anyway. Thanks for crushing my hopes I have with this girl. Fingers crossed for you OP, I hope the talk goes well. Im glad at least someone is hoping the best for me. Thanks Anderlie.
crude Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 The role on who decides when sex happens still falls upon the woman not the man, unless it was for religious/medical reasons. That's hilarious. The man doesn't have the right to decide when he wants sex, he has to want it from the instant he meets the woman, and it's her role to decide when it happens. Gender roles are funny, and dumb.
random33 Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 I'm a guy, but in my experience I would say no, one thing is not to push for sex, if the other partner is not "confortable" yet, if both want to do it, why would hold it make her love you more !? What can happen is that she may start to have doubts about your feelings for her. My advice stop playing games and start comunicating better 2
evanescentworld Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 Ok so im a bad person for wanting her to love me more? Its not like she was begging to have sex with me lol! She just found it strange that unlike other guys I didnt want to yet. Also Ive heard that sex could actually destroy loving relationships. Only if there's a stark contrast in personal attitudes towards sex, a disparity in the levels of libido/desire, or if one person simply engages in sexual activities because they are expected to/coerced into doing so. Thanks for crushing my hopes I have with this girl. I have done no such thing, you have. If there is a difference in your desire levels, it is definitely, without question, going to be a red flag. If you already know you have a low level of desire, or a passive libido, then that's not something I am responsible for.....
smackie9 Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 sure a man can make that decision, never met him yet.
xbbnx Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 That's ridiculous, you sound like you're in junior high. Give her the D and enjoy yourself, you're over thinking it.
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