DenverDude Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 It's been almost 9 days since I lost held my ex in my arms. There has been small texting back and forth, regarding her belongings at my place (she lived with me and is now moving out).. I truly believe in my heart of hearts that she is not seeing anyone else, and this breakup was because of my actions, however I can't seem to shake the thought of her being with someone else. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking that she has already found someone else. I have thoughts in my head that she is already over me. I tell myself that she is going to find prince charming (or already has) who will sweep her up by her feet resulting in her erasing me from my head. I see all of these rich, successfully young guys and think that she one of them will spoil the crap out of her. Why are these thoughts in my head? Why can't I just do what everyone has been telling me and not worry about stuff that is out of my control. It's driving me crazy. The weirdest thing of this all was that I was never possessive in the relationship. I had no problem what so ever with her doing whatever she wanted. Now i am acting like she was all mine and I don't want anyone else having her Help!!!!!!
Reels Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 It's because you don't trust her anymore. It is not really normal, but not rare either.
tikay00 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 This is completely normal. Men are possessive creatures. Once your love leaves you, you get EXTREMELY insecure.
NopeNah Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Very normal. Even being the dumper I have the same thoughts/dreams. I keep telling myself: Not my circus. Not my monkey's. Tough pill to swallow for sure!
AaronSG Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I tell myself that she is going to find prince charming (or already has) who will sweep her up by her feet resulting in her erasing me from my head. Oh yeah, the prince charming thoughts, usually I don't call them that, just normally I think "she'll find or already has found someone new" that will go through my head from time to time. Kind of like you, when I think this way, I to get some strong emotions tied to the thought that she'll one day be with someone new. Personally I've come to the conclusion that the reason I can get mentally hung up or at least feel that her with someone new is wrong, is as I call it for myself the "sacred ground" complex. For me, my ego, my vanity and my mind from the very start of my prior relationship went out of it's way to treat my ex-faince as some sort of "sacred ground", her mind, her body, her heart, her very being to me was cherished sacred ground, and that ground was mine and mine only! I spent the better part of 2 years cultivating that sacred ground, plowing it, tilling it, putting seed into it, watering it and watching some of our love grow. I invested my heart, my mind, my time, my energy, my money, ect. ect. ect. into that plot of sacred ground and got very comfortable with me and only me tending to it! Now that our respective relationships are over, for me, the letting go of that once sacred ground has come very hard. I still have thoughts and sometimes the feelings that in a way it should still be mine, due to all I did to cultivate it, nurture it and make sure it was well tended to, it should still be mine, after all my ego still stakes it's claim! Sometimes the thoughts and feeling that this sacred ground will now be tended to by another.......gut busting! How dare anyone stake claim to that, it was mine and some of my ego still thinks it is! How dare she allow anyone else other than me to take care of the sacred ground, for me it's pretty much all "ego based" thoughts and feelings, due to the fact that someone else might stake claim to what we had. It's hard, for my ego also has some control issues, and it would like to think that I in some small tiny way have control over the sacred ground. How dare anyone else hold her, embrace her, kiss her, make her laugh, make her cry, give her joy, give her sorrow, give her hope, give her disrepair, to many how dare "him" things to list. Comes down to the fact that for for me, I once had it, and now I don't, so simple of a concept, but a simple concept that can hurt like crazy.
preraph Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 You said it was your actions that caused it. It's common for those who cause the breakup to then try to find a way to blame the other person for it so they can live with their conscience and the result of their actions. She will find someone else if she hasn't already. It's called moving on. You should try it.
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