Distance ruined our perfect relationship, can I save it after break-up?

[lybom]

Hi guys,

 

I just recently broke up with my girlfriend, who I still love. We were together for 1 year and 7 months (longest relationship for me), and it was a serious relationship. We matched each other in every way, we could talk about anything, anytime. She was everything in my life. But then 3 months ago, I have to move to a new university to start my graduate life, while she's still in California. We are 2000 miles apart. It really set us apart, and before we know it, we are like strangers to each other. Skype and texting now becomes a task, rather than something she'd like to do. And before I know it, she lost the romantic feelings for me.

She told me that since I couldn't visit her in October, she didn't get to see me for a while, and it just made it much harder, along with the myriad of other things she has to do (she's very busy).

It hurts me to hear that someone I love no longer feels the same, so I think the best thing to do is to let her go. She could then focus all her energy on her studies, and also, to find someone she loves.

 

I'm having the hardest times coping, and also its bad that a part of me thinks I could get back with her once I see her (in 1 month as I'm coming back to L.A for winter break).

 

Can you give me some advice, on how to cope with this break-up? Is it a good idea to see her this winter? Should we/could we ever get back together?

 

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it.

[jak77]

I'm going through the exact same thing right now, I understand what you feel (LDR breakup, nothing changed for me)

 

I think that you already realized what you have to do : just let her go.

 

Not for her, but for you. You can't stay in an unbalanced relationship, because sooner or later she will hurt you.

Thats very hard to accept, but the fact is that you love her more than she loves you...

 

You should try to live for yourself, do good in school, make friends, try to have fun (I know how difficult that is), it will be less difficult with time (I hope)

 

If somehow she she realizes that she loves you and she broke up for the wrong reasons (stress...) then she has to come back, and you will see where you are then.

 

It's normal to refuse the truth, but you're hurting yourself by thinking that everything could be better if you were to see her again.

 

If she really loved you she will come back, if not, you can't do much

 

Keep strong, I know how ****ing difficult that is

[lybom]

Hi Jak77, I really appreciate your advice. I totally understand, I guess I need to be brave and learn to live without her. Time is probably the best cure. I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through the same thing right now, all the best to you, I have never met you, but I know you have the strength and will to overcome it, everything will be better one day.

I agree with everything you say, and I'd like to quote: "If you really love something, set it free. If it comes back it's yours, if not, it wasn't meant to be".

 

Thanks. All the best to you.

[d0nnivain]

If distance broke you up, the relationship wasn't all that perfect or strong. Let it go.

 

Keep yourself busy. Throw yourself into your studies. Make new friends.

 

You will be fine.

[lybom]

Thank you d0nnivain, you are right. Maybe we had problems with our relationship that was manifest until we are in long distance.

I will definitely focus more on my career and studies, and maybe pick up a new hobby.