CarrieT Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Lasting relationships rely on two traits according to this fascinating Article Here. In short: Kindness and Empathy. But how the scientists derived the information is immensely interesting. 7
xxmusical Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I was about to post the exact same article! I agree with this article and really learned a lot from it. I must admit I'm a "disaster" sometimes so I'm definitely using this to change myself for the better.
BetrayedH Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Great article, Carrie. Gotta love the Gottmans.
melodymatters Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Having been in both kinds of relationships I agree 100% ! We just celebrated our 3rd yr wedding anniversary and I often muse on what makes this relationship so...solid and comfortable and strong. I think it's the traits mentioned in the article above. If we were to be overheard we probably would sound pretty goofy, but we are constantly complimenting each other and lifting each other up. We always give each other our complete attention when the other one speaks. So no, he's probably not the strongest sexiest man in the world and maybe he can't do anything he sets his mind to. I'm not a beautiful princess and the smartest person ever, but we constantly reinforce those messages to each other and a mutual admiration society seems to make for a pretty happy and loving marriage ! It sounds so simple but it seems to hold true. I think thats a good part of the " You have to be a healthy person before you can have a healthy relationship" message. Self loathing people aren't often able to be empathetic or kind or see the best in other people. 5
Ruby Slippers Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Good article! It's nice to read about something other than conflict and bitterness in the Marriage forum for a change
Got it Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Their books are excellent, highly recommend " Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work". It is the expounded version of this article. They also do marriage retreats on the west coast, Washington state, as well. It's pricey but has great reviews. My husband and I have talked about doing it just to continue strengthening our relationship.
Anderlie Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 I read this article to my husband last night and it resulted in a really great conversation. Thanks for posting OP 1
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