NJ123 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Would you not date someone if they were working a low paying job, even though you get along with them really well & find them attractive? Or would you honestly turn them down? 1
mariekatie Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Would you not date someone if they were working a low paying job, even though you get along with them really well & find them attractive? Or would you honestly turn them down? I wouldn't look down on someone if he had a low income. A guy must be hardworking, not rich. Attractive isn't important as long as he's presentable. A rich person might not be rich forever as well. As long as he's willing to work, we have enough to survive, i don't think it would be an issue. I'm realistic, not materialistic. A guy don't have to have a big house or car, but he needs to be able to bring food to the table. 2
Andy_K Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 It's pretty rare I've ever dated anyone who *wasn't* in a low paying job. Much prefer she's doing something she enjoys and which shows some sort of empathy/compassion.
mammasita Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 It's pretty rare that I find a man that makes more than me (that I click with and is available that also likes me LOL) so I'm pretty screwed in that regard.....so I don't judge. He just has to have some sort of ambition and be successfully supporting himself.
carhill Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 How important is income in dating? In my generation, empty wallet (insufficient discretionary spending capital) always meant limited to no dating opportunities. However, these days, with people swiping credit cards on cell phones or using NFC to pay beggars, it's a lot easier to be broke and still date, presuming one doesn't mind non-recourse debt. Back in my day, dating was a cash thing. No cash, no dating. Work hard, be smart with money, except when dating
Got it Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 If I was dating, while I wouldn't care about the other person's income I would be careful about their feelings on mine. I make an amount that not a lot of men would be at and what I would need understanding is how intense my career is. That it wouldn't play second fiddle in a relationship, that it requires travel, long hours, weekends/late nights, etc. So I would need to date someone else that has a similar career or very understanding. That is what has been great with my husband, he is in the same industry, understands the craziness and understands my position. So there is some definite flexibility.
Toodaloo Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Would you not date someone if they were working a low paying job, even though you get along with them really well & find them attractive? Or would you honestly turn them down? An ambitious man can progress and change his career. he is also more likely to deal with lifes ups and downs such as redundancy better. The amount he makes holds no bearing on his ambition and ability to work hard. Far better to date someone with passion and ambition than a fat wallet.
normal person Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I've found that it doesn't factor in as much as people would lead you to believe. I do a lot of OLD and I've found there's not a noticeable difference in the amount of attention I get whether I have my income listed or not. Maybe girls think I'm lying about how much I make, I'm not sure. The only thing different when I do list it is that I get a lot of messages from foreign girls, usually in Asian countries. Who knows what they're after? For me I'd love to have a girl who made as much as possible, I don't really understand guys who would want otherwise. I don't care if she doesn't, but it'd certainly be nice. If she makes enough to afford the rent in a place within a subway ride of me, that's perfectly fine. I'm pretty sure in the US women still make 70 cents on the dollar compared to men, so take that into account. 1
amaysngrace Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 As long as I'm self-sufficient then they need to be self-sufficient too. Don't be hitting me up for a loan and we're good! 1
Lady2163 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 For me, it isn't the actual income, but how are they spending it and saving it? What is their debt to income ratio? Less than 25% of my net income goes for ALL bills each month. 25% is my play money and groceries. 50% is investments, which can be adjusted if I want to spend more on play. That's just unheard of for so very many people. That means if a person makes $2000 net, they only have living/bill expenses of $500.
OwMyEyeball Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I don't care about what they have so much as where they're going and what they're doing to get there.
thefooloftheyear Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Its relative, really...... I make a fair amount of money...But also own everything I have(house, cars, investments, etc)_ and can live pretty comfortably on a very pedestrian level income... Point is....Ive known some people that make great money and are one step ahead of the repo guy and are buried in debt... Not sure I answered the question...As long as the other person can stand on their own two feet, I really dont have any issues.. TFY
lollipopspot Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Well it can't be that important. To an individual, maybe, but culture-wide, low wage earners still find partners, that's objective fact. There are many, many people in low wage jobs, and many, many of them are partnered up.
Author NJ123 Posted November 10, 2014 Author Posted November 10, 2014 Well from the replies so far it seems the general consensus is that as long as they can support themselves than it doesn't matter. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Well it can't be that important. To an individual, maybe, but culture-wide, low wage earners still find partners, that's objective fact. There are many, many people in low wage jobs, and many, many of them are partnered up. TFY
Revolver Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 People of similar income tend to marry and settle down. 1
GravityMan Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I care more about her overall financial attitude and intelligence than her specific amount of income (which can change quickly for reasons outside her control). It is important that we mesh well on financial and career mindsets if we're going to spend our lives together. That doesn't necessarily mean that we have to be on the exact same wavelength...but at the very least our mindsets should complement each other, not clash. Being able to live within her means is a good sign. If you pay attention, you can get an intuitive feel for how the other person views money pretty early on while dating him or her...even if the conversations haven't yet directly touched on that subject. There are people out there who make money hand over fist and can't manage it worth a damn. If that income source suddenly shuts off, they're likely gonna be in trouble quick.
Andy_K Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 For me, it isn't the actual income, but how are they spending it and saving it? What is their debt to income ratio? Less than 25% of my net income goes for ALL bills each month. 25% is my play money and groceries. 50% is investments, which can be adjusted if I want to spend more on play. That's just unheard of for so very many people. That means if a person makes $2000 net, they only have living/bill expenses of $500. Impressive. I aim to save but that sort of ratio is not possible for me... 15% goes on child maintenance, about the same again on rent, then another 10% on utility bills. That's 40% before I've even fed myself or paid for fuel and other essentials, let alone had any play money!
Phoe Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Only one of my exes had a job at all. I just need a guy to be able to pay his own bills and take care of himself.
Thegreatestthing Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I don't care about it,if I had to choose between a guy who was a struggling writer following his own path, over a steady businessman who was just doing marketing plans all day or some sh-t,I would go live in the slums with the struggling writer.
BlueIris Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 (edited) Only one of my exes had a job at all. I just need a guy to be able to pay his own bills and take care of himself. Be careful what you tell the universe, Phoe! Want/need much more than that, like loving, kind, interesting, loyal, responsible, and very much into Phoe! Edited to add: On the original point, yes, income matters to me. I might turn down someone who made significantly less or significantly more than I did. Edited November 10, 2014 by BlueIris
Phoe Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Be careful what you tell the universe, Phoe! Want/need much more than that, like loving, kind, interesting, loyal, responsible, and very much into Phoe! Edited to add: On the original point, yes, income matters to me. I might turn down someone who made significantly less or significantly more than I did. Yes I need those other traits, my post was just referring to the importance of income level, nothing else. 1
Author NJ123 Posted November 10, 2014 Author Posted November 10, 2014 I don't care about it,if I had to choose between a guy who was a struggling writer following his own path, over a steady businessman who was just doing marketing plans all day or some sh-t,I would go live in the slums with the struggling writer. How come? I guess you assume the businessman would have no time for you. But what if he does?
Thegreatestthing Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 How come? I guess you assume the businessman would have no time for you. But what if he does? I would assume he was boring and conventional, a 9-5 type of guy,wasting his life away doing a lot of meaningless sh-t,not my type.maybe he has a few crazy hobbies,who knows. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Would you not date someone if they were working a low paying job, even though you get along with them really well & find them attractive? Or would you honestly turn them down? Once upon a time Kenny Loggins sang a song that went like this: "even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with you honey." Seems like that sentiment has gone the way of newspapers, the milk delivery guy and pet rocks. Personally, I care about three things: are you a good person, are you intelligent, and do you in fact actually like me? Those three are so rare to find (particularly the last one) that it makes zero sense to worry about income. Just give me someone I actually want to be around everyday and I'll wing it on the rest...
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