Do you go out again with someone that doesn't share many common interests with you?

[greenman77]

I'm not very experienced with dating and have never had a girlfriend so I'm curious, if you go out with a girl and you both didn't really have a whole lot in common and there were some moments of awkward silences, but you had a nice time and laughed a lot, do you simply not go out with them again and look for someone else with whom you might have more common interests with or do you give it another shot with the first girl?

 

Should those things be enough to not go out with them again? Because I get that first dates are always going to be a little awkward, maybe it gets better and less awkward on a second?

[WhatIsLove2014]

If it's not there, the it's not there. You can give them a chance if you want because things do grow and change but if it was so bad, just leave it be.

 

Is this the date with the lady who only had close up photos?

[greenman77]

If it's not there, the it's not there. You can give them a chance if you want because things do grow and change but if it was so bad, just leave it be.

 

Is this the date with the lady who only had close up photos?

 

Yes. It wasn't bad at all I feel like we both enjoyed each others company. We had a lot fun while playing bowling and we laughed at lot and there was some physical contact. It's just that we didn't click as much when it came to stuff to talk about or common interests. That's why I ask. The date was good though.

[oberkeat]

I experienced something similar this evening. Went on a date with a girl, and we laughed a lot and kissed, but I didn't feel she had what I'm looking for in terms of common interests, etc. She seems like a nice girl in her way, but I don't think I need to see her again. I want someone who excites/inspires me. Like whatislove said, if it's not there, it's not there.

Edited November 10, 2014 by oberkeat

[BluEyeL]

Common values are what matter, common interests matter less.

[avintagegirl]

Here is my two cents

 

1. You got on well - this is great! Many times that doesnt happen on a first date.

 

2. Its been one date. Its not like you can cover your lifespan of interests in one afternoon or evening.

 

 

I say if you got on well and like her, try a second date. Dare I say, try a third one? If nothing else, maybe you will wind up friends. As someone a bit older, I can say one thing in life is for sure - You can never have enough friends.

[Lani]

I actually prefer this kind of scenario..

Although it's nice to have a lot of common interests as a person, I also like to learn from others. If someone is interested in things I know nothing or little about, I generally want to know. So you have things to learn about, ask questions, get a new perspective, maybe get involved in something you didn't even know you'd liked before you met them.

 

It opens new doors, which is what life should be about.

[angel.eyes]

Common values are what matter, common interests matter less.

 

Agree completely. I've always focused on having shared values, the person's character, and whether we wanted the same things out of dating.

 

No offense, but liking the same movies, artists, sports, etc. is fluff...superficial fluff...that had no bearing on whether the relationship will have a strong foundation. Besides, my hobbies and interests change. My values never will.

 

If I'm on the fence, I give the person a second chance. Many people are nervous on first dates. You get a better feel for a date's personality and whether you might mesh well on the second date, I think.

[greenman77]

Really good points guys thanks a lot! Definitely values are more important than interests. Also, something else that I didn't even notice until now is the fact that I felt very comfortable around this girl. I wasn't very nervous which doesn't happen very often.

[mariekatie]

Really good points guys thanks a lot! Definitely values are more important than interests. Also, something else that I didn't even notice until now is the fact that I felt very comfortable around this girl. I wasn't very nervous which doesn't happen very often.

 

 

Yeah why not? Give both of you a chance, maybe you will find a diamond in the rough. Similar values is important. You could find new hobbies/interests when you spend more time together.

You won't be surprised that she might like something that you like, the ones that nobody ever understand why you liked it.