Mister Zen Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Why don't the men and women on this site agree with each other? I've noticed a general pattern with women backing up other women and men backing up other men. Why do the two genders have such a different perspective on dating? And the general lack of trust demonstrated here indicates that the two genders generally don't trust each other. Not just on this site, but in general because I've seen the same conversations come up on blogs, other websites, stand up comedy, news articles, conversation, etc. Even when you look at other cultures you see the same kind of men vs. women stuff coming up. The middle east, India, China, etc. Any theories on the reason behind this gender warfare?
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I don't know. I generally don't back anyone, because nobody backs me. I'm kind of like an Ent in that way...
NJ123 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Why don't the men and women on this site agree with each other? I've noticed a general pattern with women backing up other women and men backing up other men. Why do the two genders have such a different perspective on dating? And the general lack of trust demonstrated here indicates that the two genders generally don't trust each other. Not just on this site, but in general because I've seen the same conversations come up on blogs, other websites, stand up comedy, news articles, conversation, etc. Even when you look at other cultures you see the same kind of men vs. women stuff coming up. The middle east, India, China, etc. Any theories on the reason behind this gender warfare? Because men & women are wired differently. Also, each gender dislikes when a thread is specifically made about them in a way that isn't exactly the most positive. I made a thread the other day about why are women shallow about a man's height, & it turned into a huge disaster filled with arguments. 2
Anela Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 And sometimes, men and women back each other up. I've seen it in threads that you and I have both participated in, so did you not see it, or are you just ignoring that fact? 3
Author Mister Zen Posted November 10, 2014 Author Posted November 10, 2014 And sometimes, men and women back each other up. I've seen it in threads that you and I have both participated in, so did you not see it, or are you just ignoring that fact? Why can't you and others understand that when I say dogs have 4 legs I'm talking about the rule. Not the exception. I would actually like you to tell me why you don't understand that.
Lani Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 It's because women know women, and men know men. Men claim to know better about what women want than women actually do, hence women jumping to eachothers rescue. However the point is never proven, and threads like this end up happening requesting women explain why women who know women better than men only defend women, not men. Get it? 2
ThaWholigan Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Why can't you and others understand that when I say dogs have 4 legs I'm talking about the rule. Not the exception. I would actually like you to tell me why you don't understand that. The only exception is the small handful of male posters constantly reincarnating and posting threads designed to provoke the female posters on the board. Its been happening for a while, and its under the guise of debate or "truth", when really its an asinine attempt at saying "See, this is what you're really like" and extrapolating one's views onto a majority. So it would seem that you are the one who doesn't understand. Or maybe you do and you're just being annoying . Don't you get dizzy from going around in circles all the time? 13
Rejected Rosebud Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 OP, I have noticed that most women who post here don't agree with you. That is a reaction to you, not to "men." Lots of men and women agree with each other here, all the time. You can even see that plenty of guys and girls will "like" each other's posts. That kind of proves agreement, right? 4
Author Mister Zen Posted November 10, 2014 Author Posted November 10, 2014 The only exception is the small handful of male posters constantly reincarnating and posting threads designed to provoke the female posters on the board. I have no idea what you're talking about. This is news to me. Maybe you are just assigning these men negative traits and assuming they have bad motives.
ThaWholigan Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I have no idea what you're talking about. This is news to me. Maybe you are just assigning these men negative traits and assuming they have bad motives. I don't have to assign anything to them. They just have to start posting about women having it easier, only like tall guys, feminism ruining the world or going abroad to find docile foreign women . I stay out of it because I generally don't have time to get into roundabout arguments, I give my advice, share a few opinions to help then go back to what I'm doing. In this case, I'm drawing attention to it simply because, as a man, I don't have problems with the women on this board, whether I disagree with them or not. And quite a few guys on this forum don't have a problem either. It is a select few who's ideas are......well, stupid. To give it more credence is a waste of time, so that's the last I'll say. Kudos for the smoke and mirrors though, you're pretty good at it . 9
MissBee Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I don't find this to be true on this site actually. You have a subset of men who agree with each other and seem to have the same viewpoints about certain topics and while they're agreeing with each other you have other men who disagree with them. Same with women. Women do not all agree with each other on threads about dating. People agree with what makes sense to them and if they have differing opinions they say so and it's not a gendered thing from what I've seen but a "what makes sense to me" thing, regardless of who is saying it. In fact, sometimes I don't even know the gender of some posters. I agree or disagree based on whether or not what they say makes sense. I disagree with many women's ideas about dating and many men's too and then I agree with some. However, certain threads on LS that devolve into "gender wars" are things I've only experienced here to be honest, where in real life I haven't heard any of the guys I know express some of these thoughts and opinions which are very inflammatory and polemic.
WomenWubber Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Because if you dig deep enough, you will find that nobody agrees with nobody. Everyone has a different opinion. That doesn't mean there cannot be understanding, which I think is lacking. Everybody tries so hard to push their opinion, that they don't take their time to understand what it's like in the other person's shoes.
autumnnight Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Who cares who backs who as long as you can get laid right? I mean, does it really matter if women back you? You don't even respect women.
xxoo Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 What I've observed is that successful (by their own measure) men and women generally agree with each other, even if they have differing perspectives. They understand how healthy men and women are, and appreciate these qualities and differences. The struggling men and women disagree with more than just the opposite gender. They'll even disagree with people from their own gender offering advice. 7
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 (edited) What I've observed is that successful (by their own measure) men and women generally agree with each other, even if they have differing perspectives. They understand how healthy men and women are, and appreciate these qualities and differences. The struggling men and women disagree with more than just the opposite gender. They'll even disagree with people from their own gender offering advice. Completely agree. Very apt observation! Men who struggle with dating are likely to blame women ("women only want the tallest/richest/hottest man"). Women who struggle with dating are likely to blame men ("men only want the hottest/easiest/youngest woman"). Of course those two subsets of people are going to disagree with each other. From personal experience, as well as what I've seen on this board, those successful and fulfilled in their dating life and relationships (whatever that might mean to them) are far less likely to engage with hostility, or even to bother engaging at all. Edited November 10, 2014 by kiss_andmakeup 2
Keenly Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I'm not sure. I find that I disagree with many male posters, agree with a fee female.posters, and most of the time I choose off the board. But what I can say is that the only advice ever given on this website to women by women is to break up. Every single time. He hasn't texted in 3 days? Break up with him. He got mean after I started an argument? Break up with him. He spilled a drink on me on the first date? don't go out with him again. 3
NJ123 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I'm not sure. I find that I disagree with many male posters, agree with a fee female.posters, and most of the time I choose off the board. But what I can say is that the only advice ever given on this website to women by women is to break up. Every single time. He hasn't texted in 3 days? Break up with him. He got mean after I started an argument? Break up with him. He spilled a drink on me on the first date? don't go out with him again. Seriously....? I really hope that was a joke, but I'm seriously wondering since I've heard almost everything from this place.
GemmaUK Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I don't think there is any gender warfare amongst the majority on here. I like posts and agree with posts written by men and women and my own liked posts are about 50/50 male and female. One of the reasons I enjoy forums is that I get different insights into things and learn, take them on board myself. I do think that there are some people on here who are blinkered and have one particular view on things. When that is the case then there is no willingness to for example to believe someone when they say that 'xyz' is not a deal breaker in dating at all. Many assumptions are made as to why a person doesn't want to date a person and people like to be able to put that in a box and then lay the blame on either the gender or majority of the gender for what they are assuming is the reason someone didn't want to date them. Actually it's more than likely nothing to do with whatever the assumption is and the pure fact that someone doesn't want to date a person is something that is entirely out of either of their control. Neither the person who wants to date nor the one who doesn't has no control over that feeling. And..it's OK! It just means that person isn't for you. I also am aware that some like to be passive aggressive and provoke. This can often be in the form of 'women do this' or 'men do this' when actually the subject they are talking of is not gender based nor even biased at all. 3
Keenly Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Seriously....? I really hope that was a joke, but I'm seriously wondering since I've heard almost everything from this place. That one was a joke yes. 1
Revolver Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I see this all across the Internet and generally speaking It's more of an age thing than a gender thing.
Tayken Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I find that I disagree with many male posters, agree with a fee female.posters, Hmmm...any chance you are trying to be liked by the female crowd, which you are trying to date away from this forum? 1
Author Mister Zen Posted November 11, 2014 Author Posted November 11, 2014 What I've observed is that successful (by their own measure) men and women generally agree with each other, even if they have differing perspectives. They understand how healthy men and women are, and appreciate these qualities and differences. The struggling men and women disagree with more than just the opposite gender. They'll even disagree with people from their own gender offering advice. Completely agree. Very apt observation! Men who struggle with dating are likely to blame women ("women only want the tallest/richest/hottest man"). Women who struggle with dating are likely to blame men ("men only want the hottest/easiest/youngest woman"). Of course those two subsets of people are going to disagree with each other. From personal experience, as well as what I've seen on this board, those successful and fulfilled in their dating life and relationships (whatever that might mean to them) are far less likely to engage with hostility, or even to bother engaging at all. Anyone who thinks agreeing on certain things and being "healthy" is connected in any way is stuck on stupid. You'll find many people at the top who disagree with each other and many people at the bottom who disagree with each other.
Got it Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Hmmm...any chance you are trying to be liked by the female crowd, which you are trying to date away from this forum? So, here is a male who doesn't agree with the premise of the thread, so it must be diminished and devalued by giving an ulterior motivate that says the poster doesn't actually think the thoughts posted but has other goals so is lying. Nice. I could care less about gender. In fact, my history shows I tend to "get" male thinking better than "female". But I don't focus on gender. I focus on the argument and the validity of it and comment on that. What I dislike is sexist comments and gender stereotypes. They are insulting and denigrating of both genders. We are better then some of this lazy thinking. 2
autumnnight Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 I see this all across the Internet and generally speaking It's more of an age thing than a gender thing. Replace the word age with the words maturity and character and I completely agree.
Frank2thepoint Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Why don't the men and women on this site agree with each other? Because both men and women have their own opinions. Many of those opinions will clash, just like many will be in agreement. But disagreements go beyond this message board and the Internet. Speaking for myself, I have agreed and disagreed with both men and women on here, because everyone sometimes gives really great advice, and sometimes they also give really crappy advice. 1
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