NJ123 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Of course he is the keeper. That is because after a certain age all women seek security and resources above all things. Security = A loyal man they can control Resources = Money Why do you keep using the word "all" in most of your posts. Some of the things your saying would be accurate if you said "some" or even "a lot" but not all.
Author Lernaean_Hydra Posted November 10, 2014 Author Posted November 10, 2014 Women are open to the best options available to them. Just like everyone else. I've been pursued by - and subsequently rejected - men who were probably some of the wealthiest people I'm ever likely to meet. Ever. Plastic surgeons, trust fund babies, etc. And I damn sure didn't do so because I was holding out for someone even richer. This oh women will always go for the best they can is so childish and misleading. It also is exactly what I was so against the OP. But I think this way of thinking helps a lot of guys cope with doing so poorly with women. If you paint us all as shallow, hypergamous, hive minded, gold diggers your failure becomes the fault of the vampiric female sex. Not just whatever it is you personally are lacking. 1
Mister Zen Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Why do you keep using the word "all" in most of your posts. Some of the things your saying would be accurate if you said "some" or even "a lot" but not all. All means the vast majority.
Mister Zen Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I've been pursued by - and subsequently rejected - men who were probably some of the wealthiest people I'm ever likely to meet. Ever. Plastic surgeons, trust fund babies, etc. And I damn sure didn't do so because I was holding out for someone even richer. This oh women will always go for the best they can is so childish and misleading. It also is exactly what I was so against the OP. But I think this way of thinking helps a lot of guys cope with doing so poorly with women. If you paint us all as shallow, hypergamous, hive minded, gold diggers your failure becomes the fault of the vampiric female sex. Not just whatever it is you personally are lacking. You rejected those men because you knew they would probably use you as a sex toy and never marry you. So you spared yourself the pain and just avoided the whole situation. Don't get it twisted. I know how the game works. 1
Author Lernaean_Hydra Posted November 10, 2014 Author Posted November 10, 2014 All means the vast majority. In what dictionary? For someone so sorely in need of a better grasp of the English language, you sure are cocky and condescending in most of your posts. 6
Author Lernaean_Hydra Posted November 10, 2014 Author Posted November 10, 2014 You rejected those men because you knew they would probably use you as a sex toy and never marry you. So you spared yourself the pain and just avoided the whole situation. Don't get it twisted. I know how the game works. You ever notice you often resort to telling people what they really thought or meant in order to make your point? Honestly, if you have to twist someone's words or reinterpret what they clearly stated you should reassess your stance. And no, I rejected them because I wasn't feeling a connection with them/didn't like them "like that" or knew the couldn't make me happy in the long run. I have, however rejected much poorer guys for the reasons you listed so............... 2
MissBee Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Its pure truth. You will never see a woman attractive enough to be a model dating a man working at a gas station. NEVER. Even if she herself is a high school drop out flipping burgers. Never? Alright. You sure like these statements like "never" and "all." Also, not wanting to date a man who is flipping burgers doesn't say anything about your shallowness about money. It's actually quite pragmatic. Being shallow means you're materialistic and only care about money for frivolous reasons. A woman liking a man who can buy Bugattis and $60,000 watches for no other reason than she likes things could be classed as shallow, especially if she cares about no other quality in this man; however, not wanting a man flipping burgers and making minimum wage (even if you are) because you're thinking about having a family and such isn't shallow but a smart decision. And men and women make decisions every day about partnerships which take finances and other practical things into account. 3
MrNate 2.0 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I'm sorry but I'm honestly really tired of pretending I'll date just anybody. I won't. I only date hot guys. Unattractive guys are a no-go for me. No exceptions. Why settle for someone unattractive when I can get with a guy that actually gets me going? I mean why settle? Here's thing though....what I find attractive is probably what some women would consider "average" and other women would consider down right ugly. Because that's how attraction works. Even if we agreed that attraction is 100% based on facial aesthetics, why does it feel like a lot of men refuse to acknowledge (or accept?) that what is aesthetically pleasing to one woman is butt ugly - or at the very least, unappealing - to another? So yes, I only date hot guys. But that only means I only date guys that are hot to me. There seems to be this pervasive way of thinking that there is a specific type of guy that ALL women will DEFINITELY find attractive and that that attractiveness automatically equals sexual/romantic attraction. It doesn't. To use the classic example: I, like many women, consider Brad Pitt highly attractive - aesthetically speaking. Do I want to sleep with him? No, not really. I have however been lusting after John Turturro for years now (I'm sorry pls don't judge me ) and if given the choice between the two, I'd ALWAYS choose the latter. And all because while Brad Pitt is a very beautiful man structurally, I find him wholly unappealing. Why is this concept so hard to grasp for some guys though? Wait! So what you're telling me is you have enough self respect to not just settle for anything that comes your way? Just think about all those men here who blame their problems on women, or anything else but themselves. They won't take kind to this news, babe. 6
CC12 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 If a woman isn't shallow about money, its because she isn't attractive enough to be. We just went over this. I don't remember if I covered this in this tread or another.. but what women care about in men is directly related to what they can attract. If women want to convince men they don't care about money, first men need to see hard evidence of it. And there really isn't any. How about Christina Hendricks? She's a gorgeous, successful actress. She has earned her own money and could attract many, many different kinds of men. She is married to Geoffrey Arend. He is not nearly as successful or good-looking as his wife is. Why do you think she chose him, when she has thousands of other options? Or Padma Lakshmi? She's also insanely beautiful and successful. She married Salman Rushdie. He is a successful author, but she has her own money and could have picked someone much younger and hotter than him. Why do you think she chose him?
Author Lernaean_Hydra Posted November 10, 2014 Author Posted November 10, 2014 How about Christina Hendricks? She's a gorgeous, successful actress. She has earned her own money and could attract many, many different kinds of men. She is married to Geoffrey Arend. He is not nearly as successful or good-looking as his wife is. Why do you think she chose him, when she has thousands of other options? Or Padma Lakshmi? She's also insanely beautiful and successful. She married Salman Rushdie. He is a successful author, but she has her own money and could have picked someone much younger and hotter than him. Why do you think she chose him? Or, Julia Roberts and Daniel Moder. She married him 12 years ago and he is not nearly as successful or attractive as she is or ever has been. He's a relative nobody and her net worth is undoubtedly many times more than his. Then there's Kristen Bell. Stunning blonde with a cult following who is decidedly much more attractive and definitely more rich than her husband Dax Shepard. But the ultimate example (and contradiction to Mr Zen's post) in my opinion would be Beyonce and Jay-Z. Beyonce is an international superstar, regarded by many as a very beautiful woman and wealthy in her own right. All these women could've had their pick, but the picked the men they're attached to regardless. I wonder why that could be....
CC12 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Or, Julia Roberts and Daniel Moder. She married him 12 years ago and he is not nearly as successful or attractive as she is or ever has been. He's a relative nobody and her net worth is undoubtedly many times more than his. I forgot about Julia Roberts! She married Lyle Lovett many years ago. He was arguably just as successful as she was at the time, but he is not what most people would call attractive. 1
most_distant_galaxy Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I agree with you. Ive promised to myself to date only handsome men. In my experience, when they are interested they are truly interested, not because they dont have somewhere better to go. They wont pretend they are into you because they are oonely, it will be sincere, because they have more choices. In the past I gave plenty of chances to less attractive men. Guess what? They were the worst boyfriends. Less attractive men are usually starved even when they are in a eelationship. Most of the times out of habit, but also because they think that since their self esteem is elevated they can score better. Handsome men usually dont have this kind of syndrome. Plus I love beautiful surroundings. My type is the tall dark and handsome, with deep voice preferably. Just to get an idea, I find Benedict Cumberbatch, Tom Hiddleston and Svein Berge really attractive.
ascendotum Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I agree with you. Ive promised to myself to date only handsome men. In my experience, when they are interested they are truly interested, not because they dont have somewhere better to go. They wont pretend they are into you because they are oonely, it will be sincere, because they have more choices. In the past I gave plenty of chances to less attractive men. Guess what? They were the worst boyfriends. Less attractive men are usually starved even when they are in a eelationship. Most of the times out of habit, but also because they think that since their self esteem is elevated they can score better. Handsome men usually dont have this kind of syndrome. Plus I love beautiful surroundings. My type is the tall dark and handsome, with deep voice preferably. Just to get an idea, I find Benedict Cumberbatch, Tom Hiddleston and Svein Berge really attractive. If it ends up being a relationship you can be secure with that thought, but until the ONS becomes a FWB becomes a Fling/STR becomes LTR Mr Handsome might not be truly interested in you other than a ride for a while. Only choosing the most desirable because then you know they truly want you and you are not just being settled for as a gf can be a road with broken hearts too as you become bed notches along the way assuming you don't hold out long on sex. That logic can go both ways for the sexes and would just leave a lot of frustrated people. When I've been skinny I noticed women friendliness/flirting was correlated to their waist size. Less options I guess. I could likewise exclusively only date slim/trim cute women because that way I could be sure I was getting a genuine woman with options and not being settled for. Hey I wouldn't be shallow if I have logic to support it. Less attractive people should be more appreciative of snagging a beautiful person. From what I've observed with my friends & myself it tends (but certainly not all) to be that way from both sides of the relationship. Numerous people on here has said they appreciate something that they had to earn or did not come easy. I'm not sure how far out of their league you were with your exes if they use you as a stepping stone to move on to hotter women. Most guys I know who scored well were rapt and did not dump the girl. Low self esteem low dating success guys could well get antsy over missing out on more fun in the past though after a while though. Its a virtuous cycle for Mr Handsome though-> sort after for NSA and then sort after because he does well with women and then sort after because he has good self esteem to be a genuine bf. lol
most_distant_galaxy Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 If it ends up being a relationship you can be secure with that thought, but until the ONS becomes a FWB becomes a Fling/STR becomes LTR Mr Handsome might not be truly interested in you other than a ride for a while. Only choosing the most desirable because then you know they truly want you and you are not just being settled for as a gf can be a road with broken hearts too as you become bed notches along the way assuming you don't hold out long on sex. That logic can go both ways for the sexes and would just leave a lot of frustrated people. When I've been skinny I noticed women friendliness/flirting was correlated to their waist size. Less options I guess. I could likewise exclusively only date slim/trim cute women because that way I could be sure I was getting a genuine woman with options and not being settled for. Hey I wouldn't be shallow if I have logic to support it. Less attractive people should be more appreciative of snagging a beautiful person. From what I've observed with my friends & myself it tends (but certainly not all) to be that way from both sides of the relationship. Numerous people on here has said they appreciate something that they had to earn or did not come easy. I'm not sure how far out of their league you were with your exes if they use you as a stepping stone to move on to hotter women. Most guys I know who scored well were rapt and did not dump the girl. Low self esteem low dating success guys could well get antsy over missing out on more fun in the past though after a while though. Its a virtuous cycle for Mr Handsome though-> sort after for NSA and then sort after because he does well with women and then sort after because he has good self esteem to be a genuine bf. lol 1) I'm never going to win any beauty contest. But I'm cute and somehow the men I'm involved with have the tendency to jump through hoops for me. The thing is, that this hoop jumping isn't always because they really like me. Most of the times it's for selfish reasons. 2) I don't do ONS. Maybe I'm lucky, or too hard to resist for a second, third, 1000th round. 3) The thing that has been true for me is that the handsome men I've been with (and a couple literally turned heads) treated me really-really well. We weren't meant to be, but I give them that. My longest relationship was with a really handsome man. The handsome men were more self-assured and I could tell that they genuinely liked me. I have a very sensitive gut feeling for these things. I could tell every time a boyfriend was about to cheat or cheated on me. An ex once thought I was secretly working for the police. 4) The fact that someone is handsome doesn't mean they also have a taste for model looks. Some handsome men have a very plain taste, believe it or not. Emotional responses to someone's appearance are not controllable, and they aren't always logical or obeying to beauty standards. 5) I haven't been dumped yet. But with less attractive men I found out that they were just taking an opportunity while looking for something else. I guess it's because they don't have sex as often, so they are taking advantage of the circumstances. I don't blame them, but I can't say I'm impressed. 2
gaius Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Gaius, my sweet....our boys blew chunks this year, very sad. If someone said they don't date unattractive men but were hot for Kevin Youkilis I'd get a little confused too. But understand the point being made anyway.
Tik Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Whats wrong with having standards? At the end of the day we're no different to any other living creature on this planet and survival of the fittest means we pick out and go for the best like how the male peacock with the greatest feather display scores the female peacocks. I have standards dating wise. Doesn't mean I don't treat those that don't meet my standards with the respect. Heck I'm still flirting with anything that has two arms and two legs. But the funny thing is whats between your ears is not just the only factor in attraction. A girl can have average looks but soar in my books with the body of a goddess. Take a holistic view; what you may lack in one area you can make up in how you carry yourself personality wise and physically. I don't date to settle. If I'm spending as much hours in the gym to look good not to mention furthering my career, I want someone on the same level as me; not someone who's lazy, doesn't look after themselves and the likes; hence the unattractive individual. One can really appreciate this from personal experience especially having been over weight once.
xxoo Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I chose the man who stirred the strongest feelings inside me. The man I couldn't be without. I turned down prettier and richer, because the feelings didn't come anywhere close. 10
Priv Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 But I'll see your Geoffrey Rush and raise you Timothy Dalton. You know Lernaean, I really want to like your post. But I... I just can´t. Would you have said Sean Connery or maybe even Roger Moore I would have liked your post in an instant. I might even be able to live with a Daniel Craig. But Timothy Dalton... ?!? 2
Toodaloo Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 You know Lernaean, I really want to like your post. But I... I just can´t. Would you have said Sean Connery or maybe even Roger Moore I would have liked your post in an instant. I might even be able to live with a Daniel Craig. But Timothy Dalton... ?!? Ooooooo Sean.... Roger can go back in the pond... Daniel Craig - classic example of a chap that is not all that good looking being promoted to "God" status by fans who adore the parts he plays rather than the person he is... Mmm Sean... he just gets better as he gets older.... Anyone got any more popcorn...? I am off to watch Goldfinger and seem to have munched my way through all of mine and the next door neighbours reading all this!
Tayken Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 why does it feel like a lot of men refuse to acknowledge (or accept?) that what is aesthetically pleasing to one woman is butt ugly - or at the very least, unappealing - to another? So yes, I only date hot guys. But that only means I only date guys that are hot to me. Fair enough..I complete get it and you are entitled to what makes you happy, but at what cost? Additionally, am sure others are longing to know how this is working out for you thus far in reality?
autumnnight Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 ALL: adjective 1. the whole of (used in referring to quantity, extent, or duration): all the cake; all the way; all year. 2. the whole number of (used in referring to individuals or particulars, taken collectively): all students. 3. the greatest possible (used in referring to quality or degree): with all due respect; with all speed. 4. every: all kinds; all sorts. Now that we have had our first grade vocabulary lesson.... I'm thinking back over my own dating history I can see short people, tall people, very thin, somewhat chubby, lots of hair, hardly any hair, PhD, GED, really wealthy, living simply. They DID all have a few core things in common, but looks and money were not 2 of them. However, some of the people who constantly beat the looks, money, and controlling women drum likely have NONE of those core qualities, so I won't bother mentioning them. 2
Rejected Rosebud Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 Fair enough..I complete get it and you are entitled to what makes you happy, but at what cost? Additionally, am sure others are longing to know how this is working out for you thus far in reality? It works for me in reality! I have zero interest in trying to have a relationship with any man who isn't hot TO ME. Right now I am with the hottest man (to me) who I've ever known, and of course I can see guys in movies or whatever who might be more objectively better looking, but THIS guy is who does it for me. I def find him very very HOT! 1
MrNate 2.0 Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 All I have to my name is a large member and a good sense of humor. I'm dependable too. Now cooking skills? Lost me there:lmao:
Author Lernaean_Hydra Posted November 11, 2014 Author Posted November 11, 2014 Fair enough..I complete get it and you are entitled to what makes you happy, but at what cost? Additionally, am sure others are longing to know how this is working out for you thus far in reality? I'm not sure what this means? Are you asking me how is it working out with me only dating people I find attractive or...?
Tayken Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 I'm not sure what this means? Are you asking me how is it working out with me only dating people I find attractive or...? It's exactly what it says on the pack.....don't look for subliminal meaning, just read as you see it.
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