I admit it, I refuse to date unattractive men.

[Lernaean_Hydra]

I'm sorry but I'm honestly really tired of pretending I'll date just anybody. I won't. I only date hot guys. Unattractive guys are a no-go for me. No exceptions. Why settle for someone unattractive when I can get with a guy that actually gets me going? I mean why settle?

 

Here's thing though....what I find attractive is probably what some women would consider "average" and other women would consider down right ugly. Because that's how attraction works. Even if we agreed that attraction is 100% based on facial aesthetics, why does it feel like a lot of men refuse to acknowledge (or accept?) that what is aesthetically pleasing to one woman is butt ugly - or at the very least, unappealing - to another? So yes, I only date hot guys. But that only means I only date guys that are hot to me.

 

There seems to be this pervasive way of thinking that there is a specific type of guy that ALL women will DEFINITELY find attractive and that that attractiveness automatically equals sexual/romantic attraction. It doesn't.

 

To use the classic example: I, like many women, consider Brad Pitt highly attractive - aesthetically speaking. Do I want to sleep with him? No, not really. I have however been lusting after John Turturro for years now (I'm sorry pls don't judge me ) and if given the choice between the two, I'd ALWAYS choose the latter.

 

And all because while Brad Pitt is a very beautiful man structurally, I find him wholly unappealing. Why is this concept so hard to grasp for some guys though?

[Dontfindme]

Monk's brother Ambrose!?

 

This is a fantastic post.

[NJ123]

I'm sorry but I'm honestly really tired of pretending I'll date just anybody. I won't. I only date hot guys. Unattractive guys are a no-go for me. No exceptions. Why settle for someone unattractive when I can get with a guy that actually gets me going? I mean why settle?

 

Here's thing though....what I find attractive is probably what some women would consider "average" and other women would consider down right ugly. Because that's how attraction works. Even if we agreed that attraction is 100% based on facial aesthetics, why does it feel like a lot of men refuse to acknowledge (or accept?) that what is aesthetically pleasing to one woman is butt ugly - or at the very least, unappealing - to another? So yes, I only date hot guys. But that only means I only date guys that are hot to me.

 

There seems to be this pervasive way of thinking that there is a specific type of guy that ALL women will DEFINITELY find attractive and that that attractiveness automatically equals sexual/romantic attraction. It doesn't.

 

To use the classic example: I, like many women, consider Brad Pitt highly attractive - aesthetically speaking. Do I want to sleep with him? No, not really. I have however been lusting after John Turturro for years now (I'm sorry pls don't judge me ) and if given the choice between the two, I'd ALWAYS choose the latter.

 

And all because while Brad Pitt is a very beautiful man structurally, I find him wholly unappealing. Why is this concept so hard to grasp for some guys though?

 

Well like you said, what you find attractive, another woman might not. So I don't see what the big deal is. Looks are the first thing people care about in a partner, even before personality since if there's no sexual attraction than they won't date that person.

[CarrieT]

I'm totally with you on Brad Pitt - he does nothing for me...

 

But Geoffrey Rush? :love:

 

Oh, baby, do I ever think he's got sex appeal.

[ThaWholigan]

Reminds me of when I used to read about the golden ratio, and how that perfect symmetry was the most attractive face - and I always thought "well, in a conventional sense, yes, but one man's music is another man's noise".

 

Put it this way. I love Beethoven's compositions. As someone who currently studies classical piano, I find his music to be as perfect as piano can get - same with Rachmaninov. However, if I showed it to some of my old friends from school, they'd be like "f*ck that, fam, man needs to put on that new Stack Bundles (RIP) mixtape, real talk".

 

Same way, there are women I've met who find me completely unattractive. Like, they like me as a person, but probably heave at the idea of f*cking me . I'm like annoying white-noise to them. Whereas to other women I've met/encountered, I'm a Rachmaninov piece! You will rarely appeal to all women, no matter what you look like.

 

The problem is that there are other factors of attractiveness that don't take looks into account. For instance, I've also met women who were interested in me until I did something typically awkward that put them off. Alternatively, I've had a woman's interest in me skyrocket within one interaction. If you meet enough women, you'll find someone who at least finds your look pleasant enough to look at. After that, it's everything else that comes into play.

[OwMyEyeball]

Ah, wonderful. Are we going to get another 30 pages of the same handful of insecure guys arguing against a stone-cold, kindergarten concept that the vast majority of men actually comprehend?

 

Like watching a midget wiffle bat fight.

[Mister Zen]

Its not hard to grasp at all. Remember I started a thread about it:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/497555-women-much-looks-men-i-think-so

 

There is no difference between the 18 year old mall girl and the 28 year old PHD. They all want to get shagged by the hottest, richest man they can find. The older they get the more 'civilized' they get because they can't compete with younger women. They start going for $$$ more than looks because they have to...but don't think for a minute they're happy about it.

[Lernaean_Hydra]

Monk's brother Ambrose!?

 

This is a fantastic post.

 

Yes. I can't even explain it. It's actually pretty sad.

 

I'm totally with you on Brad Pitt - he does nothing for me...

 

But Geoffrey Rush? :love:

 

Oh, baby, do I ever think he's got sex appeal.

 

Man, when I was about 12 I saw Quills for the first time and boy do I tell you I saw that man in a whole new light! Not so much today thought. But I'll see your Geoffrey Rush and raise you Timothy Dalton.

[ThaWholigan]

Yes. I can't even explain it. It's actually pretty sad.

 

 

 

Man, when I was about 12 I saw Quills for the first time and boy do I tell you I saw that man in a whole new light! Not so much today thought. But I'll see your Geoffrey Rush and raise you Timothy Dalton.

FFS, I remember my dad telling me how much chicks loved Timothy Dalton (I'm almost certain my dad was in a play with him once upon a time....)

 

On Turturro, he was in pretty good nick back in the day (Do The Right Thing days ). Can see the appeal funnily!

[Lernaean_Hydra]

Its not hard to grasp at all. Remember I started a thread about it:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/497555-women-much-looks-men-i-think-so

 

There is no difference between the 18 year old mall girl and the 28 year old PHD. They all want to get shagged by the hottest, richest man they can find.

 

Go outside your house, look up and a bit to the left because I think the point of this thread has gone so far over your head it's sitting on your roof.

[MissBee]

I'm sorry but I'm honestly really tired of pretending I'll date just anybody. I won't. I only date hot guys. Unattractive guys are a no-go for me. No exceptions. Why settle for someone unattractive when I can get with a guy that actually gets me going? I mean why settle?

 

Here's thing though....what I find attractive is probably what some women would consider "average" and other women would consider down right ugly. Because that's how attraction works. Even if we agreed that attraction is 100% based on facial aesthetics, why does it feel like a lot of men refuse to acknowledge (or accept?) that what is aesthetically pleasing to one woman is butt ugly - or at the very least, unappealing - to another? So yes, I only date hot guys. But that only means I only date guys that are hot to me.

 

There seems to be this pervasive way of thinking that there is a specific type of guy that ALL women will DEFINITELY find attractive and that that attractiveness automatically equals sexual/romantic attraction. It doesn't.

 

To use the classic example: I, like many women, consider Brad Pitt highly attractive - aesthetically speaking. Do I want to sleep with him? No, not really. I have however been lusting after John Turturro for years now (I'm sorry pls don't judge me ) and if given the choice between the two, I'd ALWAYS choose the latter.

 

And all because while Brad Pitt is a very beautiful man structurally, I find him wholly unappealing. Why is this concept so hard to grasp for some guys though?

 

Although this is a brilliant post I am CERTAIN the point will be lost on many.

 

I've also said the same thing and other women have said it too but some REFUSE to listen to it and would rather perpetuate false and strange ideas which must be comforting somehow to them to believe ALL women are XYZ kind of way and all like one kind of thing.

 

It seemed like common knowledge to me that while cultures have standards for beauty it still cannot wholly dictate what an individual finds attractive. EVERY man I've dated and slept with I found attractive, some I felt were more physically good looking than others, but all did SOMETHING for me and often it was an intangible something, and they all didn't look like one thing and besides 2 of them none would be considered model material.

 

We like who we like and most of us are not that narrow-minded where we can only like one thing and I will poke my eye out the next time someone brings up George Clooney as this objective standard that all women worldwide should like . Most of us are attracted to different kinds of looks and just want someone who is attractive to us. That varies. Among my friends and I, yes we do agree on the hotness of some guys, but we also disagree as well, where one guy I find absolutely sexy they don't or they want to rip his clothes off and I'm like "Meh" or think he's totally unappealing. That's the beauty of life...we all like different things and it's not like all women or even men on earth only want ONE particular look. And outside of looks all women don't like just one personality type either and among my friends, while we may agree on liking certain men's personalities, we also disagree on it as well.

[NJ123]

Its not hard to grasp at all. Remember I started a thread about it:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/497555-women-much-looks-men-i-think-so

 

There is no difference between the 18 year old mall girl and the 28 year old PHD. They all want to get shagged by the hottest, richest man they can find. The older they get the more 'civilized' they get because they can't compete with younger women. They start going for $$$ more than looks because they have to...but don't think for a minute they're happy about it.

 

Not true for all older women. Some older women try to look for their settle guy with the good job, so they can start a family & be secured before their biological clock is up. But to apply that to all older woman is ridiculous. And what one woman finds a 10/10 another might find to be a 7/10 in looks.

[MissBee]

Yes. I can't even explain it. It's actually pretty sad.

 

 

 

Man, when I was about 12 I saw Quills for the first time and boy do I tell you I saw that man in a whole new light! Not so much today thought. But I'll see your Geoffrey Rush and raise you Timothy Dalton.

 

 

I didn't read the rest of the thread just your initial post before I made my prediction...aaaand of course!

 

The worse part is, those adamant about holding these views are also unsurprisingly not doing well in the dating game it seems, and I wonder if it doesn't ring a bell that these attitudes and beliefs and one's dating worldview and success might be correlated?

 

It is more comforting probably to believe that the problem is ALL women on earth who are a particular way versus looking at one's own attitudes, actions and choices and how that might be contributing to one's issues.

[NJ123]

The only thing though is if a guy on here started a thread with the thread title being "I admit it, I refuse to date unattractive women", I'd like to think a lot of women on here would get pissed off lol.

[MissBee]

The only thing though is if a guy on here started a thread with the thread title being "I admit it, I refuse to date unattractive women", I'd like to think a lot of women on here would get pissed off lol.

 

If his post contained the same exact thing as Lernaean's except he replaced it with women....why would anyone (who isn't irrational) get upset? It makes PERFECT sense. The same does apply to men! A man likes what he likes and not all men like the same things. I've said it too when women ask questions like "Do men like bigger women?" "Do guys like small breasts?" "Do men like [insert whatever other thing]?" My answer is always that there is no Yes or No answer to it. SOME men like certain things and others don't and EVERY SINGLE man doesn't only like big breasts or small breasts or skinny women or fat women etc.

 

So if you're not irrational a man posting this thread would not be upsetting to you. Most rational women know men date women they are attracted to. What makes them attracted to different women varies though and what is one man's hot is another man's not. This is not an upsetting concept.

[ThaWholigan]

The only thing though is if a guy on here started a thread with the thread title being "I admit it, I refuse to date unattractive women", I'd like to think a lot of women on here would get pissed off lol.

Depends - if the subjective nature of his tastes are as emphasized as OPs, then probably not!

 

I've mentioned loads of times that I have a type, and I have preferences. So far, I've never been chewed out for it .

[xxoo]

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert.

 

Christopher meloni looks like many guys I know, and has that masculinity that makes him wicked sexy.

[MissBee]

Depends - if the subjective nature of his tastes are as emphasized as OPs, then probably not!

I've mentioned loads of times that I have a type, and I have preferences. So far, I've never been chewed out for it .

 

Ditto.

 

The whole point of the OP's post was to discuss the subjective nature of taste. She didn't post things like only wanting a particular kind of look or income or what have you, which understandably can be polemical.

 

Thus, if a man made this post to say the same thing, that tastes are subjective it wouldn't upsetting. If he or Lernaean had however posted about how this one kind of look is the ultimate and all others are hideous then of course it would be more controversial.

[Lernaean_Hydra]

The only thing though is if a guy on here started a thread with the thread title being "I admit it, I refuse to date unattractive women", I'd like to think a lot of women on here would get pissed off lol.

 

I may have only started this account in Feb of this year but I've been an on/of member here for a few years. That being the case, I can say with some degree of certainty your comment is wildly inaccurate. I've yet to see the women of LS collectively disagree with basic common sense.

[NJ123]

Depends - if the subjective nature of his tastes are as emphasized as OPs, then probably not!

 

I've mentioned loads of times that I have a type, and I have preferences. So far, I've never been chewed out for it .

 

Possibly. But I'd like to think women would favor a thread like this more than a man. While if it was about refusing to date unattractive women, men would probably favor that thread, and the women would be more against it.

[NJ123]

I may have only started this account in Feb of this year but I've been an on/of member here for a few years. That being the case, I can say with some degree of certainty your comment is wildly inaccurate. I've yet to see the women of LS collectively disagree with basic common sense.

 

Well hey, I've only been on here for 2 months so maybe I could be wrong. But on the other side, I don't think some guys on here will take this thread too well. I'm expecting some guys to be offended by this thread. I'm not personally, since I completely understand. Looks are the first thing someone sees as to whether they'll date them or not.

[MidwestUSA]

I'll see you on that Jon Stewart . He's my age too.

 

Patrick Stewart, Sam Elliot, Edward James Olmos.

 

 

Pitt doesn't do a thing for me.

[AD1980]

Well I've even told I look like Turtorro I never thought that was a good thing lol

[xxoo]

I'll see you on that Jon Stewart . He's my age too.

 

Patrick Stewart, Sam Elliot, Edward James Olmos.

 

 

Pitt doesn't do a thing for me.

 

Love Edward James olmos! I really go for the masculine ones

 

But I'll take brad Pitt, too

[Mister Zen]

Go outside your house, look up and a bit to the left because I think the point of this thread has gone so far over your head it's sitting on your roof.

 

What do you think that I believe the point of your thread is?