chapatini Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 (edited) hello guys, my ex decided to terminate the things between us before i knewed i was pregnant, anyways we didnt get back together after knowing. the thing is that im so sad and i feel so alone i dont have any friends or family near. my ex partner left me cause he didnt like some things about me , that honestly i dont find is something to leave someone , i mean you try to work through things. but anyways i know i did some things wrong and im willing to work on this things not for him but for me. i wish he was more tolerant. he is being a bit unfair with me too, he just doesnt accept all his faults and exagerates and misunderstands and imagines things about my actions that are not true! Anyways right now i dont want to be like this for my baby but it's so fu.,k1ng hard!!! i feel bad that he didn't accept me wholy and that he doesnt want to work things out, i feel this unfairness and i feel like sh.. it some times like if i was not worth having a relationship with.. like he cannot get pass my faults. i know its not an obligation but man i feel sad. He had a lot of faults too but sometimes it seems as he doesnt sees them even after i tried to teel him.. he is like.. "Me? i didnt do that much" yeah right. Anyways im more tolerant than him. i dont know what to do cause i have to see him because of the baby stuff and all.. and its very hard for me. specially in this time that i just want to be pampered with a lot of affection and careness. im totally alone. i dont know if we will be getting back together one day but sometimes i feel that it could be possible but other times i feel that he is so away in his mind and heart, that it could nnot happen... i feel he doesnt care anymore about me, that its done. its only normal to want to have a family. i know i have to change some faults i wish to change for me but that doesnt give me the security he will want to go back with me so at the same time i want to get back with him i wish i could not give a damn about him and let him go. its supposed to be a happy time for me but because of him im sad.. what do i do? how do i get him out oof my mind and heart if i have to see him every now and then PLus i'm carrying his baby! we are connected in a deep level... but at the same time i dont want to forget about him cause i want to be with him.... THIS is so harddddd Edited November 9, 2014 by chapatini
Tabitha87 Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 Is there any chance of you moving closer to your family/friends so that you can get the support you need and so that you won't feel so alone? I don't know how far of a move that would mean for you, but have you not considered it? Maybe try talking to him about moving as well & let him know that it's something you've considered doing if he's not going to help you with this baby etc.? I don't mean that as a way to try and force him to be involved either. I simply mean that you need support, especially when you finally have the baby, & if he can't/won't give you the support this baby will need, you need to consider your options. 1
Author chapatini Posted November 9, 2014 Author Posted November 9, 2014 we are apart for a month and a half. we are still kind of friends and it hurts so much all that i've explained in my post..
Author chapatini Posted November 9, 2014 Author Posted November 9, 2014 (edited) Thanks for answering, well im very far away from my hometown. i dont plan on going back i cant. he is willing to help, he will be participant in babys life and i dont want to take my baby away from his father. if i do that, they will probably will see each other practically once a year and i dont want that cause i know how important is a father, at least not right now while the baby will be a little kid. thats my decition. anyways im in need of some advice in how to cope with things right now , with all that im feeling plus wanting to be with him but at the same time is very sad to be expecting something to happen whilst (for the meantime) hes not interested. its hard Edited November 9, 2014 by chapatini
Tabitha87 Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 Well, there's nit much you can do other than leave him alone by giving him some space & onoy contacting him if/when you have to (for dr.'s appt etc.). In the meantime, try searching the net for local groups for pregnant mother's so that you can talk with others who also going through the same things as you. 1
melodymatters Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 I think someone asked above, how long WAS your relationship ? Thats pretty relevant. Dating casually for a few months VS living and planning a life together. Either way, we can't control others actions so start building a good life for you and your child regardless. 1
Author chapatini Posted November 10, 2014 Author Posted November 10, 2014 no, read well he asks: "How long have you two been broken up?" anyways i know that we cant control someone elses action of course thats obvious. thank you. what i was asking for is an advice to let go and not to suffer cause i dont want to give this feelings to my baby wich i try but its hard. thats all.
Author chapatini Posted November 10, 2014 Author Posted November 10, 2014 thank you tabitha i will try to find a group like that.
amaysngrace Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I'm sorry that he's being a jerk but congratulations on becoming a Mommy!! That's very exciting and you're absolutely right that this should be a happy time in your life. If you don't want to pass these bad feelings onto your baby then don't. Put yourself in your baby's hoes and imagine what it'd be like for your little one to be criticized the way that you have been. This guy didn't accept your faults. What if he doesn't accept that baby's faults as he grows? Maybe it's a good thing that you broke up now. You don't yet know what kind of daddy he'll be but if it's anything like the boyfriend he is it's sh**ty. Some people are just not nice people. He may be one of them. If I were you I wouldn't plan on him ever coming back. You can't put your life on hold waiting for him to make a decision. You have a lot of things to figure out. And moving closer to family and friends sounds like a good idea. Don't worry about your ex and his plans...get busy making your own.
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