cwtchycoo Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 (edited) I'm a nineteen year old student child nurse currently living and studying in one of the biggest major cities in the world. Before I started my journey, I had started to date a co-worker's best friend who is 21 and works in my hometown. At first I made this guy wait for a month before I went forward with any dating as I was concentrating on work and my studies. Eventually we formed a relationship in which we were both happy and enjoyed each others time together. He had a reputation of being a bit of a bad boyfriend, and my co-worker (also one of my best guys friends) did warn me to begin with but after seeing how well we got on together he began to really support us. After a while I noticed red flags. As I live 3 1/2 hours away, we'd rely on texting and phone calls as our communication. He'd been up to visit me and I'd come back home and we'd spend time together too. We talked everyday, but soon I began to realise he'd like to talk a lot about himself on the phone. He talked a lot about fights he'd get into, other things I didn't think I really needed to know. He'd get funny and distant if I went out clubbing, and he didn't like particular guy friends (who were all back at home with him and I had nothing going on with them). It got worse when he told me he wanted to dye my hair blonde (but shortly after said it was a "joke"). I noticed him liking girls photos on Facebook. The guy at the start of the relationship who was so lovely and took me out to dinner, gave me presents, and bought tickets to go see west-end shows was now completely different. But I never talked about it with him, I felt like it would just pass and when I did go to talk about it he just couldn't take me seriously. I had thought about breaking up, however. Unfortunately I badly burned myself this week and had to go to the hospital, and after this I ended up back at home. My boyfriend wasn't exactly sympathetic about it to tell the truth. He barely showed me any compassion when a friend of mine (and of my co-worker) died of cancer a few weeks back. I can't believe I didn't end it with this guy sooner I really urge anyone who is with someone like this to get out!!! It hit rock bottom thursday night when he hung up on me because I made a joke about one of my guy friends who he doesn't like. I know he's jealous of him, but it's very draining when he can make jokes all the time (sometimes quite nasty jokes about me and girls in general) but when I do I'm pretty much shut down. It was just ridiculous to everyone that he'd get so jealous. I know his ex had cheated on him, but I wasn't his ex... I wasn't interested in anyone but my boyfriend. I stood up for myself saying I wouldn't allow him to make me feel so awful on my nights out anymore. Things completely changed since then. He didn't speak to me properly, yet when I asked if he was thinking about ending things he was completely adamant he wasn't and that there wasn't any problems between us. Last night I got a text while he was out with my co-worker and all their guy friends drinking. He was telling me he hadn't felt anything for me for a week (despite getting jealous on thursday and wanting to spend time with me while I was home) and that he wanted to break up. I was a bit taken aback at first to which he sarcastically responded "don't rush to save" which I just can't comprehend now because he'd been pushing me away for so long, why would I try to save it? After I said I couldn't be in a relationship with him, I get a series of phone calls at half four in the morning. He's walking home from the clubs in the city, it'll take him at least an hour and a half. He's cold and he's only wearing a shirt and jeans. I cave and go to pick him up, only to be faced with him completely drunk. I felt sick just being in the car with him. He smelled like jagerbombs and cheap vodka. He put his hand on my leg and kept going to kiss me and asked to go back to mine. Again, something I'm so angry with myself for, I caved and took him home. After he threw up out of the window in my room, he completely passed out on my bed. An hour later I wake up and he's touching me and trying to sleep with me. I pushed him away three times and each time I told him no but eventually complied and went along with it. This morning I had the worst feeling in my stomach and I knew that I had to check his phone. I literally don't know what it was but it pretty much hit when I saw a text come through from a girl whose name I didn't recognise. My instinct told me to open the conversation, and while I hate snooping I'm so glad I did. I saw him saying that he was going to break up with me so he could take her on a date. These texts were all sent after the argument about my friend on thursday. I woke him up and asked him about it. He said it was a joke, that he wasn't interested in her actually because "look at her". She was a good few sizes bigger than I am but at the same time I really didn't think that mattered, but reflects just how lovely he is. At this point I had a mental breakdown. Very quietly though, I just stayed very quiet and while a little tearful I got ready to drive him home. I tried to have a serious conversation about what happened last night with him but he kept avoiding questions, kept trying to be funny and making jokes. He even told my coworker (him and I's best mate) that he was over mine. He wanted to make a snapchat story of us which I refused to. It was like he was getting a kick out of this. He then tried to come on to me again and started touching me inappropriately. We had plans for him to come stay with me back in my flat next weekend. He bought tickets for a popular west-end show that cost him quite a lot of money. One of my serious questions was if he was still going to do this with me, which I knew was a "no" as I could tell, and knew that we both wanted to end the relationship. He said yes and said he didn't want to kiss me goodbye because he hadn't brushed his teeth, then left my car. I get a text about two hours ago saying he's removed his relationship status on Facebook (Which I had already done last night) and that he doesn't think we'll go to the show so I can have the tickets. I tell him that I'm not interested in having them, I don't want to be with him anymore and that I don't want anything to do with him. I tell him I'm sorry and I removed him from my phone contacts, Facebook, twitter, snapchat, etc. While I feel relieved I'm rid of him I am just finding it so difficult to comprehend what's just happened. I feel actually physically sick, I feel like I've been violated. My co-worker (his best friend) is being really supportive and is furious with him, along with our other close friends, but I feel absolutely yuck about the entire thing. I wish he'd stayed that person he was at the beginning. Or I wish I just had ended things when I saw the first few red flags I just needed somewhere to vent because this is still new for me and I'm trying to think of ways how I can get over this. Right now I've cried a bit, I feel disgusted and I just can't eat. All I've had today is a slice of toast!!! Any advice? Edited November 9, 2014 by cwtchycoo
Recommended Posts