Chris715 Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 Let me start off by saying that I suck at dating, have only been doing it for a few years (I'm 23), and have little to no understanding of a girl's psyche, which is why I'm looking for some input. I recently reconnected with this girl I used to work with and haven't seen for awhile. She sent me an invite for her graduation party which didn't take me completely by surprise because she had texted me about my address a few months ago. Anyway, not thinking much of it I texted her back last night after getting it, saying thanks for the invite and I'll definitely be there. She responded saying how good it was to hear from me again and asked if I wanted to get drinks this next weekend. We were never incredibly close working together, really just work friends who would hang out on break, lunch, that kinda of thing. But we get along well and she's really cute. So ladies, is this a clear sign of interest from her or am I over thinking things? Maybe she's just being polite? Wants to break the ice before I see her in a month for graduation? Kind of clueless on this because plenty of times in the past I've read signals wrong from girls and I don't want to this time.
smackie9 Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 Yup she's making a move for you. Not often that a girl would ask a guy out. If she didn't have any interest she would have never invited you to her grad party. Wow over your head bro.
Author Chris715 Posted November 9, 2014 Author Posted November 9, 2014 Yup she's making a move for you. Not often that a girl would ask a guy out. If she didn't have any interest she would have never invited you to her grad party. Wow over your head bro. Well luckily I agreed to drinks either way, so I have my bases covered. I know she likes to make and have a lot of guy friends though, so I'm still not completely convinced.
smackie9 Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 She hasn't seen you for awhile, but contacts you....this is not a friends zone thing, if it was she would be using you for her emotional tampon, and texting you all the time.
Haerts Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 I wouldn't necessarily say she's interested, though it looks like it. Well, I have guy friends that I don't see very often and aren't close friends, but that I would invite to my graduation party... with no interest at all. However, since she asked you to go out for a drink, then it seems like she wants something more. You're interested, you accepted her invitation, so just go and you'll know there whether she is into you or not; even though you're not very good at reading signs, check out her body signs, you can always notice when someone is interested.
smackie9 Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 If you don't take risks nothing is gained. That's why you are still single. Confidence wins the girl. 1
mortensorchid Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 If you like her, go for it. I think she sounds interested, you might find out otherwise once you get together for the drinks but no reason you can't try once she made the offer.
Author Chris715 Posted November 12, 2014 Author Posted November 12, 2014 Well this isn't turning out too well. I asked if she could meet Saturday for drinks because it's pretty much the only day that works for me this week and she replied saying she had her sister's party to go to but "maybe afterwards? I'll let you know." I said that was fine and to keep me updated but whatever, doesn't look like she's too interested. I don't care too much to be honest, kind of felt like it would turn out this way. Just gets frustrating, I think I might need a break from dating for awhile.
sagamore Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 Dude. If I had a party to go to for my sister but was motivated enough to want to see a guy after that...it would mean I was pretty interested. And was thinking about sleeping with him. You seem awfully pessimistic - don't lose heart so easily!
Author Chris715 Posted November 13, 2014 Author Posted November 13, 2014 Dude. If I had a party to go to for my sister but was motivated enough to want to see a guy after that...it would mean I was pretty interested. And was thinking about sleeping with him. You seem awfully pessimistic - don't lose heart so easily! Well dating experiences have made me pessimistic Guess I'll hold out until Saturday to she what she says.
losangelena Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 Now is not the time to give up! Yes, dating is frustrating, but you gotta keep trying! Remember, she asked you to get drinks!
Assasda Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 First of all man. Dating is not about getting into the woman's psyche. Dating is all about YOUR psyche because you cant control what anyone else is gonna d. You should be happy that she told you,"Maybe after the party" lol right now its like youre acting like a little puppy-dog, living and dying by every decision this girl makes. Bro, you shouldnt care one way or the other. Dont let ANYONE, and I mean ANYONE, at anytime change your temperment. If you live by that, you'll have a ton of success socially
Author Chris715 Posted November 13, 2014 Author Posted November 13, 2014 If she still wants to go this weekend then I will go with her but with that being said, I'm thinking more and more I need a break from dating and obsessing over finding a girl. My last stint of dating (if you can call it that) was over the summer and that ended pretty disastrously, leaving me really hurt for a few months and more than a little jaded over relationships and my exes. I need some time to figure out what I want and to focus on college and saving money. Part of me wants to date right now, even though I have the doubts I would be able to find a girl I like but I don't know, doesn't feel right right now with the shape my life is in.
mariekatie Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 Seems like she's interested as girls usually don't ask a guy out for no reason. I wouldn't invite someone to my graduation if i'm not even interested. Firstly, you and her ain't that close so it wouldn't make sense too. Secondly, she make the first move so you're still 'safe'. Just don't over think things first and go with the flow. If you're too desperate, she can sense it. But don't act cool too, we can sense that too and it's kinda turn off. But well if we really like the guy, everything he does is "cute". hahaha love is blind i guess! But take it slow. Be more confident in yourself. don't be desperate. 1
Redhead14 Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 Let me start off by saying that I suck at dating, have only been doing it for a few years (I'm 23), and have little to no understanding of a girl's psyche, which is why I'm looking for some input. I recently reconnected with this girl I used to work with and haven't seen for awhile. She sent me an invite for her graduation party which didn't take me completely by surprise because she had texted me about my address a few months ago. Anyway, not thinking much of it I texted her back last night after getting it, saying thanks for the invite and I'll definitely be there. She responded saying how good it was to hear from me again and asked if I wanted to get drinks this next weekend. We were never incredibly close working together, really just work friends who would hang out on break, lunch, that kinda of thing. But we get along well and she's really cute. So ladies, is this a clear sign of interest from her or am I over thinking things? Maybe she's just being polite? Wants to break the ice before I see her in a month for graduation? Kind of clueless on this because plenty of times in the past I've read signals wrong from girls and I don't want to this time. Don't overthink this. She invited you for drinks. If you like her and want to go, you should go and enjoy the time. Pay attention to her words and more importantly her actions. You will get a sense of what this "meet up" is about. In other words, you will know if she is interested in you as more than just a friend.
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 The moment we start placing expectations or find ourselves desperately seeking clues to what exactly is going on is ultimately the kiss of death. Relax. Stop over thinking things. Enjoy. Be yourself and whatever will be, will be.
fred123 Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 but michelle surely having expectations is normal? if a guy asks you out for dinner and then talks about a girl he really liles wont you be pissed off as you were expecting a date?
smackie9 Posted November 13, 2014 Posted November 13, 2014 This isn't a stranger being asked out, they are old co-workers who haven't seen each other in a long time. For now, it's just a meet up, to catch up. This is where he can feel things out to see where her interest truly lies...body language, flirting, asking her for a date. It's not a date.
Author Chris715 Posted November 13, 2014 Author Posted November 13, 2014 And she's confusing me even more today. I texted her to basically just see how her day is going, that kind of thing, and got nothing but one word answers from her... I hate it when girls do that. I'm close to just chalking this up as a loss and maybe take that nice break from dating (or attempting to date) for awhile.
Author Chris715 Posted November 17, 2014 Author Posted November 17, 2014 (edited) Well that answers that. She didn't even bother to text me over the weekend letting me know she wouldn't be able to meet up, even though she said she would. The lack of respect and consideration pisses me off, I'm sick and tired of dealing with bitches like this. The fact that I don't care is probably a good sign, right? Move on, drop her. But yeah, think I'm gonna take that break from dating now. Time to focus on important stuff like college. Edited November 17, 2014 by Chris715
smackie9 Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 Not sure why you were even texting her randomly about her day. You haven't established anything yet to constitute a daily text. You should have did nothing until she contacts you about heading out for a drink. She got a wiff of your expectations and dropped off the radar. 1
Author Chris715 Posted November 17, 2014 Author Posted November 17, 2014 Not sure why you were even texting her randomly about her day. You haven't established anything yet to constitute a daily text. You should have did nothing until she contacts you about heading out for a drink. She got a wiff of your expectations and dropped off the radar. Doesn't change the fact that the least she could've done was shoot me a text over the weekend saying she couldn't meet up for drinks if she didn't want to, you know, like she said she would. Whatever, honestly I'm tired of even wasting energy being angry about this. This girl was way too hot and cold with me and is just a waist of my time.
smackie9 Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 Rule of thumb. Just because a girl talks to you, is friendly with you, or offers to hang out sometime, doesn't mean it's an invitation to something romantic. When was she hot with you?
Author Chris715 Posted November 17, 2014 Author Posted November 17, 2014 Rule of thumb. Just because a girl talks to you, is friendly with you, or offers to hang out sometime, doesn't mean it's an invitation to something romantic. When was she hot with you? I didn't mean hot in the sense of romantically interested. Just in the sense of a week ago she was being really friendly, attentive, interested in meeting up, and this week she goes on to completely ignore me and pretend like we never even made plans. Don't worry I'm not one of those guys who's like "oh she smiled at me, she must want to make out and have sex with me."
Thegreatestthing Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 My gosh you are negative. Well this isn't turning out too well. I asked if she could meet Saturday for drinks because it's pretty much the only day that works for me this week and she replied saying she had her sister's party to go to but "maybe afterwards? I'll let you know." I said that was fine and to keep me updated but whatever, doesn't look like she's too interested. I don't care too much to be honest, kind of felt like it would turn out this way. Just gets frustrating, I think I might need a break from dating for awhile.
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